Hey, first of all this is my first ever post on BL so I hope I've got the right forum for what I've got to say. I've used BL for reference for years, so I knew it was the right place to come with a question like this:
Basically, last year I became seriously ill and was in hospital for months. At two points doctors told my parents that I may not have survived. Thanks to the luck of getting one of the best thoracic surgeons in the UK and a lot of luck in other areas too, I'm still here and mostly undamaged.
I have a history of opioid addiction stretching back around five years on and off. It all started - as most opioid addicts I know in the UK started - with OTC co-codamol pills (and codeine linctus, if I was ever lucky enough to find a pharmacy that sold it. It's the holy grail of legal OTC opioid products here; the only active ingredient in it is 600mg of codeine per bottle. At the beginning I couldn't get things ordered to the house as I was living with my parents, but when I got my own place I began bulk-ordering codeine linctus at an alarming rate) and cold water extraction. For those not in the UK, here anyone of any age can walk into any high street pharmacy and buy a pack of 32 co-codamol pills for less than the price of a beer and with no questions asked. After a quick CWE that pack of pills is turned into up to 256mg of codeine, depending on how good at CWE you are. To a young person with no tolerance and no previous experience of opioids, that is an absolutely massive, better-than-sex dose. I was hooked just like so many other UK opioid addicts who started the same way.
Fast forward four years or so and I'd been on and off methadone and buprenorphine scripts and had been clean of opioids for nearly six months with no cravings. Then the illness strikes and I'm put on high doses of morphine, fentanyl and oxycodone all at the same time. I won't talk about the illness because it's very uncomfortable for me, but suffice to say it was bad enough that, apart from all the other drugs I'd been placed on, my daily 'as prescribed' painkiller dosage is now one 120mg OxyContin (they do make them, at least certainly in the UK) every twelve hours along with extra instant release oxycodone (I convinced my doctor to cut out the morphine and fentanyl as oxy is my favourite) for breakthrough pain in 'as prescribed' doses of up to 20mg IR. I'm also, if you'll believe it, given extra 20mg OxyContins in case I feel I need to take more than 240mg of it a day for pain that hasn't even existed for the best part of four months.
I just want to know the best way to go about getting off this shit without involving myself with the local addiction treatment service. Without naming names, the place is appalling, irresponsible, slow, bureaucratic and has the habit of dominating your life by threatening to leave you cold turkey on methadone if you miss one of their ridiculous sessions etc. My doctor will help me as much as he can, however he doesn't know I'm abusing the prescriptions and thinks I'm just dependent due to long-term use. I need it to stay that way, as this doctor is one of the rare breeds that will give you virtually anything you ask for (I also get two different benzos, Lyrica, modafinil and Ritalin, all of which I abuse and none of which I remotely need, save the benzos for the odd panic attack).
I'm currently using up to 400mg of oxy in one instant release dose (plus all the 'as prescribed' stuff to keep me out of withdrawal), and even that much doesn't make me nod anymore. I have access to plenty of clonidine and vital signs monitors and have been through worse withdrawals in the past, however the fact I'm still very weak from my illness makes the prospect of withdrawals now extremely scary, as although everyone knows opioid withdrawal isn't life-threatening, in combination with my physical condition I think it may well have the potential to be.
Basically, I just want to know from anyone who's been in a similar situation and managed to get out of it. Any tips, guidance on tapering, herbal medicines that can help, anything at all would be most welcome.
Hopefully look forward to hearing from people
Basically, last year I became seriously ill and was in hospital for months. At two points doctors told my parents that I may not have survived. Thanks to the luck of getting one of the best thoracic surgeons in the UK and a lot of luck in other areas too, I'm still here and mostly undamaged.
I have a history of opioid addiction stretching back around five years on and off. It all started - as most opioid addicts I know in the UK started - with OTC co-codamol pills (and codeine linctus, if I was ever lucky enough to find a pharmacy that sold it. It's the holy grail of legal OTC opioid products here; the only active ingredient in it is 600mg of codeine per bottle. At the beginning I couldn't get things ordered to the house as I was living with my parents, but when I got my own place I began bulk-ordering codeine linctus at an alarming rate) and cold water extraction. For those not in the UK, here anyone of any age can walk into any high street pharmacy and buy a pack of 32 co-codamol pills for less than the price of a beer and with no questions asked. After a quick CWE that pack of pills is turned into up to 256mg of codeine, depending on how good at CWE you are. To a young person with no tolerance and no previous experience of opioids, that is an absolutely massive, better-than-sex dose. I was hooked just like so many other UK opioid addicts who started the same way.
Fast forward four years or so and I'd been on and off methadone and buprenorphine scripts and had been clean of opioids for nearly six months with no cravings. Then the illness strikes and I'm put on high doses of morphine, fentanyl and oxycodone all at the same time. I won't talk about the illness because it's very uncomfortable for me, but suffice to say it was bad enough that, apart from all the other drugs I'd been placed on, my daily 'as prescribed' painkiller dosage is now one 120mg OxyContin (they do make them, at least certainly in the UK) every twelve hours along with extra instant release oxycodone (I convinced my doctor to cut out the morphine and fentanyl as oxy is my favourite) for breakthrough pain in 'as prescribed' doses of up to 20mg IR. I'm also, if you'll believe it, given extra 20mg OxyContins in case I feel I need to take more than 240mg of it a day for pain that hasn't even existed for the best part of four months.
I just want to know the best way to go about getting off this shit without involving myself with the local addiction treatment service. Without naming names, the place is appalling, irresponsible, slow, bureaucratic and has the habit of dominating your life by threatening to leave you cold turkey on methadone if you miss one of their ridiculous sessions etc. My doctor will help me as much as he can, however he doesn't know I'm abusing the prescriptions and thinks I'm just dependent due to long-term use. I need it to stay that way, as this doctor is one of the rare breeds that will give you virtually anything you ask for (I also get two different benzos, Lyrica, modafinil and Ritalin, all of which I abuse and none of which I remotely need, save the benzos for the odd panic attack).
I'm currently using up to 400mg of oxy in one instant release dose (plus all the 'as prescribed' stuff to keep me out of withdrawal), and even that much doesn't make me nod anymore. I have access to plenty of clonidine and vital signs monitors and have been through worse withdrawals in the past, however the fact I'm still very weak from my illness makes the prospect of withdrawals now extremely scary, as although everyone knows opioid withdrawal isn't life-threatening, in combination with my physical condition I think it may well have the potential to be.
Basically, I just want to know from anyone who's been in a similar situation and managed to get out of it. Any tips, guidance on tapering, herbal medicines that can help, anything at all would be most welcome.
Hopefully look forward to hearing from people
