I have been going through a very difficult time in my life lately to the point where I just don't know what is right or wrong anymore. I broke up with my boyfriend that I was in a 4 year relationship with to be with this other guy that I thought was the one. Everything was so perfect to start off, he treated me perfectly and made me think that he really is the guy that I want to be with. For the last 2 months, he has started acting very weird and rude. He constantly bullies me telling me that no one likes me, and that I have no friends, and that he does not want to break up with me because he feels bad for me. He constantly blows our plans off to chill with his buddies which absolutely annoys me because I see him once a week. It is getting so annoying to the point where I am not permitted to do anything without asking him or go out anywhere without him. He goes out whenever he wants and does whatever he wishes to but claims that he would never cheat on me! if I do wish to do something against his wishes he starts to threaten me and says that he will humiliate me publicly. I truly love him HELP!!
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SLR Moderators: Senior Staff
control freak!
- Thread starter NAN2020
- Start date
help meee!
I have been going through a very difficult time in my life lately to the point where I just don't know what is right or wrong anymore. I broke up with my boyfriend that I was in a 4 year relationship with to be with this other guy that I thought was the one. Everything was so perfect to start off, he treated me perfectly and made me think that he really is the guy that I want to be with. For the last 2 months, he has started acting very weird and rude. He constantly bullies me telling me that no one likes me, and that I have no friends, and that he does not want to break up with me because he feels bad for me. He constantly blows our plans off to chill with his buddies which absolutely annoys me because I see him once a week. It is getting so annoying to the point where I am not permitted to do anything without asking him or go out anywhere without him. He goes out whenever he wants and does whatever he wishes to but claims that he would never cheat on me! if I do wish to do something against his wishes he starts to threaten me and says that he will humiliate me publicly. I truly love him HELP!!
I have been going through a very difficult time in my life lately to the point where I just don't know what is right or wrong anymore. I broke up with my boyfriend that I was in a 4 year relationship with to be with this other guy that I thought was the one. Everything was so perfect to start off, he treated me perfectly and made me think that he really is the guy that I want to be with. For the last 2 months, he has started acting very weird and rude. He constantly bullies me telling me that no one likes me, and that I have no friends, and that he does not want to break up with me because he feels bad for me. He constantly blows our plans off to chill with his buddies which absolutely annoys me because I see him once a week. It is getting so annoying to the point where I am not permitted to do anything without asking him or go out anywhere without him. He goes out whenever he wants and does whatever he wishes to but claims that he would never cheat on me! if I do wish to do something against his wishes he starts to threaten me and says that he will humiliate me publicly. I truly love him HELP!!
BiG StroOnZ
Bluelighter
You need Amanita muscaria
:
zephyr
Ex-Bluelighter
Dump him. Better yet - ghost him.
Not worth it. HE sounds like a dickhead and you can do whatever you want.
Not worth it. HE sounds like a dickhead and you can do whatever you want.
BiG StroOnZ
Bluelighter
zephyr
Ex-Bluelighter
I know its hard but he treats you like shit. Life is too short and there are plenty of other people around who will be better company.
Dont waste time on any idiot who has nothing better to do than bring you down. Feeling do subside after a while.
Get away from him and dont bother with him. Dont even give him a reason. Its the best way to teach him that his actions are fucked and he can go get fucked.
Dont waste time on any idiot who has nothing better to do than bring you down. Feeling do subside after a while.
Get away from him and dont bother with him. Dont even give him a reason. Its the best way to teach him that his actions are fucked and he can go get fucked.
Wow. That's pretty bad. I'm sorry, it sounds really tough. Usually I'm the type to say just honestly communicate, but he sounds like he's not worth saving or open to change. Lack of empathy isn't something that people drop overnight.
You deserve much better, it's easy to get hung up on what is effectively a rebound. Move on to healthier relationships.
You deserve much better, it's easy to get hung up on what is effectively a rebound. Move on to healthier relationships.
theredgiant
Bluelighter
Everyone is perfect in the beginning. You always have choices. If I were you I would stop doing all the things that make him like you...become a piece of shit and he will leave you thinking it was his idea because you were no longer good enough for him but it was all by your design.
theredgiant
Bluelighter
This has been posted twice
quiet roar
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Aug 21, 2003
- Messages
- 4,990
Stop it!
How the fuck can you love a piece of shit like that? You don't love him and you need to dump his ass, pronto! Have you got that clear?
^^^Yup..How can you love a pos like that? Wait....you broke up with a guy you dated for 4 years in order to be with "the one"? Sounds pretty silly to me, but you didn't explain why you left the other guy so I wont jump to conclusions. It is rarely a good idea to bounce one from one relationship to another no matter how strong your feelings are for someone else. You are leaving out some important info from your story. As the other poster said, everyone is perfect in the beginning.
Once the honeymoon phase is over, the real person comes out. Happened to me and I left her cause I couldn't stand the person she really was. All I kept thinking about was how awesome that person was and how fun everything we did was for the first 5-6months. But once that honeymoon phase wore off, I really disliked who she really was. Take sometime to yourself and think about what you did adn what you want in life. Also know that what you see is what you get. He will not change no matter what. You either expect and love all of him, or move on. Think we all know where this is headed.
Once the honeymoon phase is over, the real person comes out. Happened to me and I left her cause I couldn't stand the person she really was. All I kept thinking about was how awesome that person was and how fun everything we did was for the first 5-6months. But once that honeymoon phase wore off, I really disliked who she really was. Take sometime to yourself and think about what you did adn what you want in life. Also know that what you see is what you get. He will not change no matter what. You either expect and love all of him, or move on. Think we all know where this is headed.
My ex was physically and emotionally abusive to me for years, the only reason I stayed was because he always said to me that, "I wouldn't get anyone else". I finally gathered the courage to leave that relationship and moved on with this new guy after being friends with him for a year. He said he threatens me just so I listen to him, but he does not want to. I am honestly deep into this relationship and have strong feelings for him, my parents and his parents know about us. It is not easy to leave such a relationship but, it has also come to the point where I know it's not right but I am still putting up with it.
I put up with my gf's bull shit for a long time because I didn't think I could do any better, didn't want to start over, or be single. Comes a point where you have to respect yourself and realize its not a healthy match. I broke it off, part of me regrets it big time, but she constantly showed me time and time again she will not change. That she is a cold hearted bitch who took me for granted. Now I am single, not really happy, but happier than I was in that toxic relationship. As time went on I realized a lot of things I was blind to see. Life is short, be happy even if that means walking away from something you love. I still love her, but we were better off as friends. Just cause you love someone doesn't mean you are a good match. Never realized what that meant till I was in that situation. I wish you the best and hope you can find true happiness.
Good Luck
Dump him now before it goes on and becomes even harder. Men like that don't change, I've been with one for 15 years and it's not gonna get better. I kept thinking that eventually he would hear me out and learn that he can't treat people this way but he never did. We have a kid together, a life, but hes emotionally and mentally abusive and has even gotten physically abusive. So my advice is run while you can. You will learn to love again and probably find someone worthy of your time and your love. If he's this controlling now and you don't hardly see him just think of how it will escalate in the future! Being controlled is not love, it's something else entirely. He's treating you like property and not like a person. Think of it like this, if you had a sister or a best girlfriend and she told you the exact same scenario regarding her boyfriend, what would you tell her? would you tell her to stay because she loves him? or would you tell her to dump him and find someone worthy of her love and affection? Good luck with whatever you decide. 
pofacedhoe
Bluelight Crew
well then you are a glutten for punishment cos this man is an asshole in his behaviour with all the red flags you could ask for and you are choosing to ignore them even when they are already making you unhappy.
grow up and move on from this shit- movin on is never easy but why do you tolerate behaviour from someone that if they loved you would be nice to you but instead is being horrible to you. this reads like early abuse behaviour. thats where its going- one day it could be you pregnant getting kicked in the abdomen. wise up
theMerovingian
Bluelighter
If the lad treats you like that I honestly dont understand how you can be with them. Feelings and all that aside no one should be subjected to where by what you say he treats you like property and that he is a virteous never cheat gallant dude. It amazes me how people can have feelings with people that subject each other to a double standard manipulative controlling nature.
Just my opinion but dont sound right what hes doing and I would say take the road. Fuck em. You have dignity and respect at the end of the day. Wish you all the best.
Just my opinion but dont sound right what hes doing and I would say take the road. Fuck em. You have dignity and respect at the end of the day. Wish you all the best.