bLueSunShiNe
Bluelighter
It's been a couple of days since we last talked and I'm feeling the urge to call you if not for anything more than to hear your voice.
We've been together almost three months now.
This is the longest I've ever stayed with someone without either him or I breaking things off.
You make me feel things I wasn't sure I'd ever be able to feel again for another person.
Why does this have to happen to me at this point in my life?
I need to be focusing all my energy on school.
This wouldn't be as complicated if you didn't live an hour and a half away from me.
I can't allow myself to get much more emotionally involved here b/c I honestly can't see "us" working out in the long run.
Sooner or later it's gonna end.
And I think I'd prefer it to be sooner rather than later so then there won't be as much pain to deal with.
This is one of the hardest decisions I've ever had to make.
Every time I have to say goodbye it hurts even more and I feel even more lonely once we are apart.
But I don't WANT to say a final goodbye.
I just feel like I should do it now though before things get any more complicated.
With your past history of thinking about suicide I'm afraid of how you'll react when I say that final goodbye.
I know it'll hurt you, and probably hurt badly.
I don't want you to be sad enough to want to kill yourself.
I could NOT deal with that sort of guilt.
But I met someone recently.
Someone I can see everyday.
Someone that I'd like to get to know better.
I don't want to hurt you, but I'm afraid I already did just by being in your life.
We had great times together and I will always treasure and hold them dear to my heart.
I'm not breaking up with you b/c I want to, but b/c I should.
Maybe someday in the future I'll realize I did the wrong thing and want you back.
But maybe I won't.
I just can't live with constantly missing you and only seeing you a day or two every other week.
That is not how I want to live my life.
So cry those many tears for a lost love and move on.
You are better off without me.
I'll only cause you more pain if we stay together.
Just know you will always hold a very special place in my heart and I will never forget you.
We've been together almost three months now.
This is the longest I've ever stayed with someone without either him or I breaking things off.
You make me feel things I wasn't sure I'd ever be able to feel again for another person.
Why does this have to happen to me at this point in my life?
I need to be focusing all my energy on school.
This wouldn't be as complicated if you didn't live an hour and a half away from me.
I can't allow myself to get much more emotionally involved here b/c I honestly can't see "us" working out in the long run.
Sooner or later it's gonna end.
And I think I'd prefer it to be sooner rather than later so then there won't be as much pain to deal with.
This is one of the hardest decisions I've ever had to make.
Every time I have to say goodbye it hurts even more and I feel even more lonely once we are apart.
But I don't WANT to say a final goodbye.
I just feel like I should do it now though before things get any more complicated.
With your past history of thinking about suicide I'm afraid of how you'll react when I say that final goodbye.
I know it'll hurt you, and probably hurt badly.
I don't want you to be sad enough to want to kill yourself.
I could NOT deal with that sort of guilt.
But I met someone recently.
Someone I can see everyday.
Someone that I'd like to get to know better.
I don't want to hurt you, but I'm afraid I already did just by being in your life.
We had great times together and I will always treasure and hold them dear to my heart.
I'm not breaking up with you b/c I want to, but b/c I should.
Maybe someday in the future I'll realize I did the wrong thing and want you back.
But maybe I won't.
I just can't live with constantly missing you and only seeing you a day or two every other week.
That is not how I want to live my life.
So cry those many tears for a lost love and move on.
You are better off without me.
I'll only cause you more pain if we stay together.
Just know you will always hold a very special place in my heart and I will never forget you.
