Mathematician
Greenlighter
- Joined
- Dec 28, 2013
- Messages
- 3
I've had an ongoing relationship with H for the better part of a year and a half. My initial introduction to the drug's culture occurred years earlier after I made the ill-informed decision of choosing a heroin addict as a roommate. More precisely, a friend of mine who had achieved trifling success in rehab became my roommate, relapsed, and then bankrupted both myself and our third roommate with his behavior. I also welcomed in his friend after a stint in jail only to learn after the fact he suffered from the same addiction and problems, but he contributed less to the financial ruin and more the keen awareness. Coming home after a night of celebration only to find your roommates puking their guts into your toilet with syringes still attached to their limbs is just frightening.
Fast forward a few months; a woman who had absolutely adored and who would soon become my girlfriend convinced me to try heroin. The first time I tried it I wasn't all that blown away by it. I've always been a fan of ecstasy - swearing to this day that the world would be a better place if everyone rolled at least once in life. But I developed a recognition for the raw pleasure H supplies. I kept tabs on my habit, but my girlfriend didn't, and she soon succumbed to an addiction, which then led to lies, emotional turmoil, etc. She's been in rehab for the last year. Meanwhile other friends in my social circle have also recently succumbed to the dragon's allure.
This is the thesis of my post: I developed a physical addiction once a few months ago, but it wasn't anything too serious and I recovered in the course of two weeks. The first week I went cold turkey; then I picked up the addiction after miscalculating how long it would take to wean the mind. The second week I used methadone and suboxone to painlessly transition out of the addiction. For the majority of my time as a user (99%) I've avoided the addiction. I have a constant, reliable connect who deals H but doesn't use it himself. It's not a matter of not being able to pursue the dragon; I am financially well-off and capable. I just simply have no desire to turn into that type of person. All the addicts I know are either the subject of some tragedy or have lost so much ethical backbone that pity is giving way to apathy. I'm struggling with whether I should participate in this when my involvement somewhat contributes to others' downfall. In fact, I don't feel comfortable using the word 'contribute' because I don't sell the drug, introduce it to new users, or anything like that, but it is a subject of recreational time together. Unfortunately, so many friends want that to be ALL there is to do recreationally, and as I said, I'm not into that. I use H as an infrequent stress reliever. I'm well rehearsed in what it is capable of; I've had distant friends overdose and die from its effects in tandem with Xanax. I know many people will try to call it a bluff, but I'm confident of my handling with it; I've had my fair share of despair in these last 2 years and didn't even think about using H as a buffer to my emotions, but its effects on others is leading me to wonder if I can truly gain positivity from it?
Fast forward a few months; a woman who had absolutely adored and who would soon become my girlfriend convinced me to try heroin. The first time I tried it I wasn't all that blown away by it. I've always been a fan of ecstasy - swearing to this day that the world would be a better place if everyone rolled at least once in life. But I developed a recognition for the raw pleasure H supplies. I kept tabs on my habit, but my girlfriend didn't, and she soon succumbed to an addiction, which then led to lies, emotional turmoil, etc. She's been in rehab for the last year. Meanwhile other friends in my social circle have also recently succumbed to the dragon's allure.
This is the thesis of my post: I developed a physical addiction once a few months ago, but it wasn't anything too serious and I recovered in the course of two weeks. The first week I went cold turkey; then I picked up the addiction after miscalculating how long it would take to wean the mind. The second week I used methadone and suboxone to painlessly transition out of the addiction. For the majority of my time as a user (99%) I've avoided the addiction. I have a constant, reliable connect who deals H but doesn't use it himself. It's not a matter of not being able to pursue the dragon; I am financially well-off and capable. I just simply have no desire to turn into that type of person. All the addicts I know are either the subject of some tragedy or have lost so much ethical backbone that pity is giving way to apathy. I'm struggling with whether I should participate in this when my involvement somewhat contributes to others' downfall. In fact, I don't feel comfortable using the word 'contribute' because I don't sell the drug, introduce it to new users, or anything like that, but it is a subject of recreational time together. Unfortunately, so many friends want that to be ALL there is to do recreationally, and as I said, I'm not into that. I use H as an infrequent stress reliever. I'm well rehearsed in what it is capable of; I've had distant friends overdose and die from its effects in tandem with Xanax. I know many people will try to call it a bluff, but I'm confident of my handling with it; I've had my fair share of despair in these last 2 years and didn't even think about using H as a buffer to my emotions, but its effects on others is leading me to wonder if I can truly gain positivity from it?
