Well its been awhile since I've been on here in that time I have I've been divorced I'm trying to enjoy life now I have two men currently who keep me very active and an ex husband that makes my life hell he thinks its okay to still come here he has no custody of the children actually just the one that still lives at home I'm not sure what to do with him I see him going downhill do I help him? We recently had a storm that took out our power and water for 6 days I needed his help even though I didn't want to I did reach out for help he told me to go to hell so I did what I could now I see that he needs help he's not asking for it but I feel compelled to help I known him a very long time so my question is do I help him or do I let him just struggle on his new 20 year old girlfriend won't leave me alone she texts me killing me he's crazy and wants to know what she should do I'm confused how do you help someone who's purposely drowned himself and would take me down with him how do i harden my heart? My life is not easy by far but it's improving my youngest is the most confused and having a hard time how do I help him?
-
-
SLR Moderators: Senior Staff
Complications
- Thread starter tonja
- Start date
T. Calderone
Bluelight Crew
- Joined
- Aug 1, 2010
- Messages
- 8,982
You lost your power for six days and he told you to go to hell? I say let him go because he is no longer your responsibility. The only real ties you have to this man is the children you share. Of course, it's a good thing to continue fostering a good relationship between them. Besides, he's not even asking you for help. You have your own life and problems, just my two cents.
(Homeless ------- > Sex, Love & Relationships)
(Homeless ------- > Sex, Love & Relationships)
You harden yourself by thinking what is the best and safest route for you and your children. Your safest bet is worry about yourself and your kids, his life is his own and really none of your concern.
If his new GF is harassing you by telephone / txt then either tell him that if the txt continue you will either block them from having your number or seek legal help.
Bear
If his new GF is harassing you by telephone / txt then either tell him that if the txt continue you will either block them from having your number or seek legal help.
Bear
Pretty_Diamonds
Bluelight Crew
I don't understand why you want to help him? He told you to go to hell when you asked him for help. & He's not even asking for your help. He's grown and he's responsible for his own life. You guys are not together anymore so you're not responsible for his life.
ChipTrippyFox
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Dec 25, 2013
- Messages
- 888
What would you gain out of helping him?
Do you really think he would be grateful?
Do you really think he would be grateful?
Wraiven
Greenlighter
- Joined
- Nov 30, 2015
- Messages
- 41
I'd let him crash and burn...
I've known him a long time since we were very young and that's the kind of person I am and in some strange sense I feel like a failure like I failed my marriage like I did something wrong I know I didn't though well I didn't do what he did but I did give up and probably drove him crazy. And I will not be helping the advice on here is so helpful to me the feedback is a good thing it's from an unknown source and I'm grateful thank you
I think he would be grateful for the moment but he really is a dick. What do I get out of helping him I don't get anything anymore I thought it through I don't get anything anymore. I used to take pride in myself in my values to help somebody but in this case nothing
I think he needs to crash and burn I do worry about the outcome either prison or death I just know it. I said a horrible thing the other day when he sent me a text message being a dick I told him you're not dead yet he told me I feel guilty for everything I did to him and my comment was no I would feel relief
ScroogeMcDuck57
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Nov 17, 2010
- Messages
- 228
I think you need to focus on you. It seems like you have some codependent behavior. Please don't take that the wrong way. The reality seems to me that this guy's problems have taken precedent over your own including your children. My guess would be that something happened in your past that is causing you to encounter these situations subconsciously or otherwise. I'm basing this off of listening to Dr. Drew on Love Line for over a decade and personal experiences. Again, please don't take this the wrong way.
I would never give someone advice they didn't ask for. If it were me I'd go talk to a counselor of some kind
I would never give someone advice they didn't ask for. If it were me I'd go talk to a counselor of some kind
pofacedhoe
Bluelight Crew
someone that wont help me when i need it is not someone i will help again
good quality friendships and relationships are built on reciprocated cooperation
not piss taking
good quality friendships and relationships are built on reciprocated cooperation
not piss taking
Pretty_Diamonds
Bluelight Crew
Hey, you need to make your own thread dude. But just sign the papers, lol. She's just going to end up taking you to court. Why do you want to be with someone who doesn't want to be with you?
Erikmen
Bluelight Crew
- Joined
- May 3, 2014
- Messages
- 20,707
This!
Erikmen
Bluelight Crew
- Joined
- May 3, 2014
- Messages
- 20,707
The answer for our choices can be deeply buried in you subconscious/unconscious.
Why do we choose someone hurt you like this? When your were younger did your parents always supported you - emotionally speaking.
Why would you fall for something that's clearly not being loyal to you?