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Coming off subs at 6mg

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Lawatts00112

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Joined
May 3, 2017
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14
Hey guys!! I'm new to this. Let me start out my explaining my situation. I met a guy 7 years ago. For the first three years he tried everything he could to get me to try Oxys. I refused. One day, 4 years later I decided to try one. That's all it took. I loved it. I was going through a lot at this point and I just gave it. No one forced me, although the peer pressure was there, but I did it and I did it for 6 months. I was doing about 60 mg a day. Moved to H, did it for a week, ended up in the hospital dead having to use two cans of narcan. Was put on suboxone and have been on it ever since, years. I jumped 5 days ago from about 6 mg. I've been on 6 mg for a few months. Before that I was only doing a quarter a day. I got into a doctor. That's why I raised my dosage. It was too tempting not to do more even though my doc prescribed me two 8mg a day.

Pleaseeee don't tell me to taper and how dumb I am for jumping at 6 mg. I don't want to taper. It's not an option. I tried before I jumped to go down and the next day would jump right back up. I just need support. I'm sick of sleeping all day, having no motivation, no drive. I'm going through this alone as my boyfriend(ex) will not quit and I just found out that he is gay... after 7 years. Yeah this is a lot to take in. Anyways, im on day 5. I woke up atleast 10 times last night. Had cold chills throughout the night. They're gone now. And today, my stomach is tore up. But this and last night is the first time I've felt any wds. I have about 20 kpins and about 6 2mg xanax and Imodium. Also I'm 23 years old and I weigh 105 pounds. I have a fast metabolism naturally so I'm not sure if this will factor into anything but I just need support. I don't do na meetings or detox. Every time I've been all everyone talks about is how bad they can't wait to get out and get high and I'm na I just get fake vibes from everyone. As soon as I detox as home, alone(I live by myself) I'm moving 7 states away with a very close sober friend.

Any advice support literally anything is wanted :)
 
Hi Lawatts00112, welcome to BL and SL :) Sounds like you have been through quite the shitty ride!

Because you are not going to taper, you're going to have to deal with some moderately intense symptoms of acute withdrawal. One of the most important things you can do to help manage these is to have the appropriate comfort medication to get through it. The comfort meds you should look into are:

  1. A non-benzodiazepines/non-z-drug sleeping medication like Seroquel or trazodone
    • Take once a day at bedtime for the first one to three months of abstinence.
    • Some people prefer the former, others the latter.
    • There are some factors like a family history of diabetes and psychiatric history that can effect which may work better for you.
  2. An anxiolytic/sedative/muscle relaxant, ideally diazepam
    • Only to be taken for 2 weeks in your case.
    • 10mg twice a day in the AM and PM.
  3. Clonidine
    • This is a must, although be very careful if you have a history of issues with your blood pressure.
    • Will treat hot/cold flashes, sweating and some other symptoms like high blood pressure.
    • To be taken once to twice a day, either in the AM and PM or just at bedtime
  4. Gabapentin
    • Also a must (there is NO reason any doctor worth their salt wouldn't be willing to prescribe clonidine and gabapentin for acute opioid withdrawal).
    • To be taken three to four times a day for two to three weeks, then once to twice a day for two to three more weeks.
  5. Loperamide
    • To treat the diarrhea and GI issues.
    • To be taken as needed for the first two to four weeks.

It is also a really good idea to get yourself a physical once you are through the first month of abstinence from opioid use (after the acute withdrawal has ended). Expect the withdrawal to last about two weeks given the high dose you jumped off of. It shouldn't be horribly intense, but expect insomnia, some GI discomfort, general irritability and malaise as well as cravings.
 
Thank you for the reply! And also I've really been looking into clonodine. If I can get a day off work I can try to get to the doctor. I work every day but weekends and we're so short staffed that it's hard to just take a day off. The good thing is I'm a delivery driver so I get to drive around and listen to music all day! Today makes 6 days. I tossed and turned all last night but was put right to bed with a hot bath, a .5 klonopins and some weed. My eyes are watering like crazy, my belly is pretty nauseating, I can't quit yawning but this is all doable so far. I feel like I'm on basically day 3 of jumping at 1mg because this is how I felt when I did then. I hate these stupid chills ew! And I'm so emotional. I've woke up crying and cried every day thus far over the most random things. It's kind of beautiful because normally I don't cry. Lol
 
Sounds like you are handling yourself really well under the circumstances. Definitely try and get yourself some clonidine for the chills at night, it should also help you sleep.

The yawning is one of the funniest and most annoying symptoms. I really annoyed a bunch of people when I came off methadone, because I had the loudest yawns I just couldn't hold in for like a month after cessation. I thought it was really funny how much yawning can piss some people off ;)

Anyways, it sounds like your body is working through the withdrawals just fine and you have quite a good attitude about all this. Keep up the great work!
 
Thank you so much!! I needed to hear that. I'm trying to keep my spirits up. I just have absolutely no one to talk to. I've deactivated my fb and twitter and the only thing I'm using is Snapchat cause all my friends on there are are drug free.

I won't do a detox facility. It's not for me. I won't do rehab. That's why I appreciate your words because this is my only way of communicating the way I feel. The belly issues really kicked in today. Took 4mg Imodium and I'm golden! I'm at work now so I've gotta go but I smoked a little week and took a .5 kpins and I feel okay.

I know I have a road ahead but I'm prepared. I'm gonna be careful with the benzos. They help so much though with my attitude towards this whole experience. I'm not gonna lie I'm VERY nervous for the days to come lol
 
No problem, I love the work I get to do for BL helping out folks such as yourself who are genuinely interested in getting healthy and working on achieving their goals and dreams in life! Nothing is more beautiful seeing all the hard work and progress people can make if only they keep at it over the long term, nothing more rewarding IMO <3

If you ever want to chat I'll pm you my Wickr Me username (anonymous messaging app). Keep up the awesome fucking work girl!

BTW, what are you doing for fun/to take care of yourself? :)
 
I'll download it!! What kinda sucks is that I don't really have time to do anything fun bc of work. There are so many things I enjoy doing. Practicing mindfulness is one think I'm able to do throughout the day but I miss doing yoga, going hiking, spending time outdoors.

The one thing I'm dreading the most is the restless legs. Normally I just toss and turn all night until I cry and then I cry and cry and contemplate death. This time I've gotta come up with something to do instead of laying around here crying!! Any suggestions? It's such a blessing that people like you actually get on here and help people struggling like me out for free. I appreciate every word!
 
My pleasure :)

I strongly suggest trying something called Tiger Balm. Go for a walk after supper to stretch your legs. Then later in the evening before bed, take a nice hot bath or shower. Right afterwards apply Tiger Balm to your legs and arms (putting it mostly on your muscles and joints) liberally. Really massage it in. Then hop in bed and let the tingly warmth carry you off into Lala land.

There are also some good medications you can use to treat RLS such as gabapentin, clonidine and something else specifically prescribed for it (although gabapentin is probably the best in terms of effectiveness and lack of side effects when used properly at night) called ropinirole. Any doctor worth their salt would be happy to prescribe gabapentin and clonidine for acute opioid withdrawal as they're very safe, effective and not something that can be really misused.

Avoid antihistamines like diphenhydramine (brand name Benadryl) and doxylamine (I forget the brand name) as they can contribute to RLS. Some people also find anti-psychotics like Seroquel can contribute to RLS during the acute stage of withdrawal.
 
Today makes day 7!! I slept from 12pm-2am! Lol yessssss! Its 5 am and I'm off today. Wasn't planning on starting my day this early but whatever I suppose. I guess last night was the start of the absolute no sleep stage.

Stomach issues are still heavy. I feel so hungry but I can't get myself to really eat. I've been smoking cigs and every time I cough I literally gag. Ugh. Cold chills. I have restless legs but they're so bearable it's amazing. They're what kept me up all night but weirdly enough they're not making me freak out. I just simply got up,

had my morning cry LOL idk why I do that while detoxing but it's usually over nothing. Today it was over me wishing I had a boyfriend to bring me an iced coffee. lol I broke up with my boyfriend the same day I started my detox as I found out he was gay after 6 years. Awkward. I'm hurt.. but if I can get through heartbreak and this, shit, I can get through anything right??
I have my heat on 79. I'm bundled up watching shameless and I feel okay. I'm staying positive. The cravings haven't been here.. yet.
 
Nice work! Thank your body, I can only imagine how necessary that sleep was for your body and brain to begin the process of healing :)
 
Yeah I feel for you. I jumped off at like 2MG at a rehab and it sucked bad. No sleep for 3 weeks. Hot and cold flashes near constant. No eating and I was the biggest ass hole you would ever meet. I don't see how you can do it without comfort meds while working everyday. My withdrawal peaked around day 12 after my last dose. Sub has such a long half life I didn't even get sick until day 5.

You may be one of those strong people that withdrawl doesn't really debilitate. I'm not one of those people. I got my ass kicked by that withdrawal. It started to let up around day 22. But I was still feeling symptoms when I relapsed on day 32

TPD has a ton of good suggestions for comfort meds. Gabapentin and clonidine can make all the differance. Another suggestion is if you can't sleep don't just lay in bed dying. Get up and do something fun or constructive. The worst nights I can remember are the ones I just layer in bed?
Good luck.
 
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My anxiety is running really high today. I'm being stupid and reading horror stories. I feel like mines gonna be because it's always so much worse than this although usually I start hell at day 2. I was on 1mg probably for the past few years until I quit on Christmas for two weeks started back and went to 6mg within the past two months.
Should I be freaking out this much? Maybe it's just the weed! Lol I had a craving today that literally lasted 2 seconds and then I automatically thought of rotten oranges. Okay I'm rambling! I just hope I'm not psyching myself out
 
Thank you! I'm like you. I always give in so quick because usually it hits so fast but I honestly don't know what I'm prepared for right now. I don't know what's about to come but I've gotta get through this.
Like this is real life shit. Ive died. Why am I still here? There's a reason I'm still here you know? There's a reason you are. Thank you for the support seriously it means a lot to me
 
Okay so just a little update. After 8 days, I gave in. I jumped too high and emotionally and psychically it was too much with all of this moving, trying to find a job, and a new place. I took .25 mg of a sub. I did that for four days. It's the 5th day now and I've taken .125 mg. I plan on doing this for four days. After that, I'm going to half that and skip days for 4 days. Skip one day, dose, skip 2 days, dose, skip 3 days, dose, skip 4 days, and I should be good. I can deal with all of this mild crap. I have stomach issues at night. Not sleeping 8 hours but that's to be expected. it's honestly a great feeling not being constipated every day. Lol the sneezes are cool to. I like them! Lol my pupils are freaking huge and all of this is okay with me because I know I have a fast metabolism and I'm just trusting my body that the reason I'm feeling like this is because I'm getting closer and closer to having nothing in my body. I'm so ready to jump off!! But I'm not going to jump the gun. Im going to do this correctly this time. Why put myself in agony for months when I can slowly taper and lessen the wds?? Im excited. This is actually quite the journey for me and I love knowing how close I am to being done. I also realize that going through these withdraws is just this bs leaving my body which is inevitably going to make my wds minor. Wish me luck! I moved to Orlando. I have no connects. Live in the suburbs where I'm in no way trying to meet people. I'm staying busy. Soaking up sun. Drinking sooo much water, and sweating this shit out. I hate the depression but every time these negative thoughts pop in my head, I just make myself think of something positive and I focus on it. :)
 
Good call with the taper. People underestimate how gnarly sub withdrawals are.
 
Thank you for the reply! I wasn't really trying to talk to myself! lol I took .25 mg yesterday. Today is my skip day so I took 3 2mg Imodium a super hot shower, walked two miles, took my vitamins, and just took a .5mg klonopin for sleep which I Hate because they make my head so foggy but it helps sleep so whatever. As long as I only use them when necessary. I wish I had clonodine. Restless legs is what terrifies me the most
 
The restless legs are what drove me crazy. I ended up hiking and walking until my legs burned. Then at night, they were really too sore to be restless. Even though most nights in the early days I still had insomnia, it wasnt because my legs were twitching out as they hurt too much to be restless, it was just plain ole insomnia. (which is so much better than rls imho)
 
The rls is exactly what I can't stand.. I ended up not being able to skip. Woke up at 3am and couldn't quit moving. And even though I'm taking these tiny ass pieces I'm still wd'ing. My pupils are huge. They've never been huge. I yawn all day. Tired all day. But I'm thinking so much clearer. What did you taper down to before you jumped?
 
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