Clear The Air - Write A Letter To Someone Who Hurt You

[attempt4]

I recently had a thought.

Have you ever felt the resonant regret of not bringing forth an issue plaguing your mind only to later replay the scene with a different outcome?
Have you ever been in a situation where you were emotionally scarred, hurt deeply and bottled it up?

This thread is for everyone to use

Use this to release pent up emotion and say the things you never did or could say to the person that hurt you most. Get it all out in here.

I promise you, after carefully wording a letter of reprimand to that someone who emotionally wounded you and disrespected you, you will feel better. You can then even show it to them if you feel it appropriate.

We have all been hurt in the past and if you would like to join in and conjure up the words you feel need to be said to try and release some of the pain, then please write something. You may feel like a weight has been lifted off you.

If nobody wants to and the thread dies on it's ass, that's fine too! Even if this could serve just one person's well-being, I will be a happy man.

I shall write mine soon I would just like to see a couple of responses first, to see if anyone wants to join in.

This is just a special place to let go of any pent up frustration and articulate or de-wire your bundle of highly-charged emotions.

All the best, everyone

 

[Muddle]

Dear ******,
When I met you I was crazy in love. I was infatuated with the idea of you being clean and being able to control your usage. Just when I let down my walls which you worked so hard to bring down, you did exactly what I had been protecting myself from for so long. I had already been through the same thing with my father, and I never could have imagined that one day you would remind me of him. I always felt that you were the best I could do. I let you walk all over me. The first time it happened I told myself...this was a one time thing, it won't happen again. And it happened again, over and over and over. You fucking cheated on me and I am so angry that I let you continue on your train of terror. I finally came to my senses, a night after drunken arguments and a black eye was enough. Enough was finally enough. Because of the way you treated me, I had no knowledge, help, or experience on how to cope. I kept my secrets from everyone with this fantasy persisting in the back of my head of us living in a Eutopia where you wouldnt let your substance abuse change you. I took my recreational drug use to a whole other level, I remember the day after the fight precisely, it was the beginning to my benzo (xanax to be exact) 'binge' which I never disconitued. The beginning to my seemingly everlasting hell. Even when I was constantly high I thought about you everyday, wondering how you were doing. I worried, and still worry that you will not gain back your balance and that I won't ever see you on this Earth again. It will always, always bring me to tears. I wondered how I could change you so that you would become the person you are when you are clean. You brought my hopes up of what I knew you could be and crushed them to see you drink and become so angry and violent. I always knew in my heart you were special and that you were going to make a huge impact on my life, and you did, negatively in so many ways. I still have this voice in my head reminding me of all the nice things you did- the person you are when you are sober. I know this wasnt you, you arent capable of hurting someone without a foreign influence. And it saddens me. I also have flashbacks- of the beautiful memories we shared together, they are forever embedded in my being. And though you hurt me, I will always have love for you because I know in my heart that you're spirit has good intentions, and though you have gone down an ugly, awful path in your life I have beenable to forgive you. I understand, I know that once your are so far gone you don't consider who you are hurting in the process of satisfying your addiction. Now that I have met someone who treats me wonderfully and has me on a pedestal, I can only wish that you find yourself and get clean. I would love to get back in touch when you do so, but I cannot even give thought of us ever being life partners again-the pain of losing you due to health complications would be too much. I have been working on myself and I still struggle today to let the feelings of resentment go. I wish nothing but the best for you, and most importantly that you find your own peace.

 

[RareForm]

You're a dick.

You lack the ability to apologize for something that offends someone because you play it off as - "Oh, I'm sorry - I'm just trying to have a good fucking time." Fuck you. You self-absorbed, prick. When I'm around you, my mood and chemistry changes because I'm weary of how you're going to be and what you might say.

This won't last much longer.

 

[Noodle]

I survived you.

 

[mr.buffnstuff]

Well... Thanks for the most miserable 8 months of my life, as iv said I hope you get what you deserve! Every waking day I pray for you.... I pray you get eaten by a giant squid, I pray you get raped by a pack of stray dogs, I pray the good lord takes you in your sleep!
You are a genuinly bad person, bad to your cold black core! I dont know what I ever saw in you, you lied to me, made out you were pregnant, all sorts! I believe in karma.... In fact! I will pay karma to ruin your sorry excuse of a life! I hope all ur future bfs just getwith you because they know your an easy lay. I hope after theyve shot their load in you and walked off you feel usd like a cheap whore! You played me like a cheap fiddle and I wish you the worst in life and the future - fuck off! Xx

 

[modern buddha]

Can this be in general too, instead of just SLR material?

Dear me,

I was hurt by you. I left myself open to you and you let me down. Now I'm trying to heal and start over. Please, be safer next time. Never take your body for granted. Desire is only a mindset and suffering is only an illusion you create for yourself.

Sincerely,
Me.

 

[maxalfie]

Dear ******,
When I met you I was crazy in love. I was infatuated with the idea of you being clean and being able to control your usage. Just when I let down my walls which you worked so hard to bring down, you did exactly what I had been protecting myself from for so long. I had already been through the same thing with my father, and I never could have imagined that one day you would remind me of him. I always felt that you were the best I could do. I let you walk all over me. The first time it happened I told myself...this was a one time thing, it won't happen again. And it happened again, over and over and over. You fucking cheated on me and I am so angry that I let you continue on your train of terror. I finally came to my senses, a night after drunken arguments and a black eye was enough. Enough was finally enough. Because of the way you treated me, I had no knowledge, help, or experience on how to cope. I kept my secrets from everyone with this fantasy persisting in the back of my head of us living in a Eutopia where you wouldnt let your substance abuse change you. I took my recreational drug use to a whole other level, I remember the day after the fight precisely, it was the beginning to my benzo (xanax to be exact) 'binge' which I never disconitued. The beginning to my seemingly everlasting hell. Even when I was constantly high I thought about you everyday, wondering how you were doing. I worried, and still worry that you will not gain back your balance and that I won't ever see you on this Earth again. It will always, always bring me to tears. I wondered how I could change you so that you would become the person you are when you are clean. You brought my hopes up of what I knew you could be and crushed them to see you drink and become so angry and violent. I always knew in my heart you were special and that you were going to make a huge impact on my life, and you did, negatively in so many ways. I still have this voice in my head reminding me of all the nice things you did- the person you are when you are sober. I know this wasnt you, you arent capable of hurting someone without a foreign influence. And it saddens me. I also have flashbacks- of the beautiful memories we shared together, they are forever embedded in my being. And though you hurt me, I will always have love for you because I know in my heart that you're spirit has good intentions, and though you have gone down an ugly, awful path in your life I have beenable to forgive you. I understand, I know that once your are so far gone you don't consider who you are hurting in the process of satisfying your addiction. Now that I have met someone who treats me wonderfully and has me on a pedestal, I can only wish that you find yourself and get clean. I would love to get back in touch when you do so, but I cannot even give thought of us ever being life partners again-the pain of losing you due to health complications would be too much. I have been working on myself and I still struggle today to let the feelings of resentment go. I wish nothing but the best for you, and most importantly that you find your own peace.

Beautifully written.

 

[attempt4]

These are all very beautifully written indeed.

Dear *****,
You were supposed to be there for me, the person for me to trust and for me to look up to, hell, for me to brag about to my friends and be proud of.
My only feeling when I think about you is fucking fear.
Every single day I imagine what life would have been like if it had been different. I look at my friends and how they take it for granted. I look at how stable and confident they seem, how carefree and able to get on in life they are. Nothing holds them back. They can't understand why the fuck I can't be like them. I ask myself the same thing.
Then I feel pathetic for laying blame on you and what you were like. I should be strong enough to get past this, "oh it was 10 years ago since you last saw them, why do you still fucking care?" so my friends say. I tell myself to man the fuck up.
You never gave 2 shits about me, so why should I give 1 about you? I even try and form a petty excuse for you, I say "It was because you were too young" and "I would have done the same thing" or "It was only the drink" but really, you were just a cunt.
Every day my mother sees you in me. The way you look, talk, your impulsive stupidity. I know it makes her resent me, she wouldn't treat me how she does otherwise. I feel ashamed when I look in the mirror not only because we look so alike, but I try and tell myself it wasn't my fault and I know it just was.

I feel like an attention-seeking bastard even mentioning any of this and feel like I should be able to get past it. I find it humiliating and degrading that I let this get to me so much. I never suffered the way I have in recent years until you started being the way you were. I always felt like I should be that super-confident and well-rounded guy that I see in everyone else, but I can't seem to make it work.
Fuck, even to this day I feel god damn scared, alone and almost submissive to most people, especially any fucking male older than me. I'm a nervous wreck compared to anybody I know. I don't know anybody who FLINCHES LIKE FUCK when even their best friend goes to pat them on the head or eve greet them. I walk around feeling like everyone is a fucking threat and to be on my guard all the god damn time. I never did let that go.
I can't even begin to describe to you the fear I felt every single day. I begged the school to let me stay behind, I knew what was coming when I got home. Everyone I knew couldn't wait to get home, but it was one of the worst places I could imagine being when I shoulda been a happy-go-lucky cheerful fucking kid.
I always tried to impress you and be as good as I could, but it never was good enough. The amount of shit this has stopped me doing is unreal. I tried to block all this shit up with enough drink and drugs to kill several armies and it was the pathetic way out. The kind of expectation you had for me.
One of the worst parts is, I could have gone far in football my real passion but you fucking took my favourite thing in the world from me.

I feel fucking humiliated to admit any of this and try to blame you for how I turned out, but I became a shell of a person after what I went through at your hands. I know you don't give a shit. I just pray that one day, I can actually get past this and be a confident fucking person.

Yours sincerely,
Your son

 

[Fawkes]

^ aw, man. that resonates so much with me. many hugs to you. i hope one day you can let go of the anger. while you may be stunted from the trauma you experienced, you are not incapable of being an awesome person worthy of wonderful things. it took me sometime, but as i've gotten into my late 20s, i decided i wouldn't allow what happened to hold me back any longer. and you know, as strange as this sounds, i sort of appreciate those tough times. thankfully, i recognize what happened as abuse and because i experienced the wrong, when i become a parent, i feel more determined to do it right. silver lining n' all. best of luck to you.

 

[Honest]

Dear *******, Fuck you. Way to ruin me. The fact that you misled me pisses me off. You can at least be straightforward and tell me how you feel. You clearly don't understand how to let someone down gently. When I first met you I thought you were the one. Can you please fuckin tell me why you would take advantage of me like that, what you did was really fucked up. I wish you would just leave the country and do you and never hurt a girl the way you hurt me because let me tell you, no one fuckin deserves that. Thanks for proving to everyone that you are dick. I still can't believe that night we had, it was amazing. I know you thought so too because you fuckin texted me... if you didn't want to text me you didn't have to. But you did. What am I supposed to think of that? Why do you answer with all these happy faces and shit and then stop messaging me? Anyways, I don't have time for you. You have put me on a rollercoaster of emotions, you bring me up so high I feel like I'm on cloud 9 but then you drop me like I'm a piece of shit. Thanks for making me sick to my stomach... ps fuck you

 

[leepy]

Have you ever felt the resonant regret of not bringing forth an issue plaguing your mind only to later replay the scene with a different outcome?
Have you ever been in a situation where you were emotionally scarred, hurt deeply and bottled it up?


dude last time i thought about shit like that ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ i ended up shootin my bro dont think writing a letter would make me feel any better

 

[JessFR]

Daniel....... what happened to you? You were a good person once, you seem to try so hard to hide it now, but I know it's true. You left my life long ago, after you used me so many times, told me what I wanted to hear, then were too much of a coward to even tell me you were done with me. Nevertheless I still can't bring myself to hate you for it. Despite the image you've adopted for yourself, the one of the hoodlum punk that you live as now. The one you present to the world. I know that's not all there is to you. You may have others fooled, but they never knew the old you. Who would have thought, when we were so much younger, *I* was considered the bad influence of the two of us. I suppose neither of us have so far actually made a whole lot of our lives since we were young teenagers. You were the Clyde to my Bonnie once. Even today there are things we did I doubt you ever told anyone, neither have I. We may have been troubled kids, but we weren't bad. I don't know why you decided to do the things you later did. But I knew you before then, before being a decent person became the act and the asshole the reality. You were a good person once.... no matter if I ever find out, I know you can be again.

 

[nuttynutskin]

I've personally pretty much forgiven anyone that's hurt me, I'm sure I can't be the only one. IMO it serves no purpose harbor resentment.

 

[eribrysan]

Dear Amanda,

I can't even begin to describe how much you've hurt me. First by breaking my heart 8 years ago and then by terminating our friendship for your new girlfriend 6 months ago. I never wanted you back. You and your girlfriend, who had a problem with you and me being NOTHING but friends, must have very sad, insecure relationship. And the biggest load of bullshit is that you said you were terminating our friendship on your own accord and that it had nothing to do with your girlfriend of four months (we were together for 3 years!). That doesn't even make any fucking sense. You didn't crap on our friendship of ten years until SHE entered the picture. You did it for HER, not for yourself. I hope you know that one day your relationship will fail (like all your relationships do) and I won't be here as your shoulder to cry on when you come crawling back to me for support. All I got from you was a "sorry, good luck on your life, goodbye!". How do you do that to a person you've been close friends with, through all the ups and downs, for some insecure basic bitch? I didn't/don't deserve to be treated the way you treated me. Like I was an afterthought or trash to be discarded whenever you feel like. I hope you're NOT happy and that she breaks your heart the way you broke mine. You need a taste of your own medicine. Karma is a bitch darling.

-Erica

 

[brokenhearted]

GOODBYE LETTER TO A NARCISSIST

My un-dearest Narcissus,
you made me look like a fool,
I was your puppet, your supply, your favorite tool…
My un-dearest Narcissus,
I was hopelessly caught up in your groove,
you did ignore why I was so blue…
My un-dearest Narcissus,
you left me brokenhearted and hurt,
a fairytale gone bad: our romance was fake and short…
I’m wondering now: for what it’s worth?
Guess I was like some kind of favorite sport for you…
I wonder where you are right now….
You acted so well that I should really take a bow…
Are you listening or not?
'cause I am still trying to unravel this knot…
Lies, lies, lies, lies, lies…
I could really really read your eyes…
Everything you told me was a lie…
And now, who, where am I?
I can't do anything but cry…
Wish I could get you out of my mind…
And while I’m here, grieving and mourning the loss,
trying to bear this heavy, unholy and bleeding cross,
I see you already moved away,
looking and craving for the next best prey,
leaving behind nothing but havoc and pain…
Have you ever thought about the consequences?
Not a single word was true in your sentences…
You took advantage of my benevolence,
now I’m paying for your crimes with no evidence…
My un-dearest Narcissus,
I don’t wish you well:
I’d just wish you’d be burning in hell…
My un-dearest Narcissus…
Not even the Devil wants you around…
In the ugly truth luckily freedom I found….
My un-dearest Narcissus,
even though you cast a spell,
your wicked soul is too cheap to sell…
My un-dearest Narcissus,
your poison kills more than a virus…
I was warned: you were nothing but trouble…
Shame on me! As you were even more harmful than typhus,
If only I had known you were such a psycho!
Have you ever really cared about me?
Or did you aim from the beginning at killing me?
How could you proudly bring me down the way you did?
Goin’ around, keeping saying I’m the one to blame?
You know what?
I’m done…
From my life you’re finally gone…
There’s no use in pouring salt into the wound,
and thank God, I’m already movin’ on…
Goodbye………

 

[BavarianFiredrill]

Hey Sara!
Here comes anouther letter. I can promise you this will be my last. Since you have not answered or even commented on the last 4 i send you over the year, i dont think you will even read this one. Cant say i blame you. If i had more control over my emotions, i would have cut you off also a long time ago. But i just couldent, you ment to much to me and i really wanted to keep what we had as a good and special memory for both of us. But holy shit did i fuck that up huh?

The way we met was on of the most awesome love stories i heard in my life. I miss all the nights when we were still were just friends when we stay up talking many days every week until 4 in the morning. Remember? for 2 years you were my favorite person in the world. Than fucking love happend and fucked my whole life up as allways. No person has ever had as strong effects on me as you had. You show me so many new sides of myself i never even know i had. Even if we only meet physicaly for 2 weeks i feel i known you forever. The connection we had was like nothing i ever experienced before. I still miss you like crazy! Pleae we cant let it end like this..

The email i send you in mars was the most stupid thing i ever did in my life. I understand you got upset and angry. But still? After 8 mounhts you still want nothing to do with me. I dont ask you to love me again, i just want you back as a friend. I remeber when you told me i was one of the top 5 imoprtant people in your life. I was so fucking happy! Now i feel i dont even make the 300 list, and now it has been a very long time since i was happy. I hate that what you think has so much importance for me. I will never give someone this power over me again. Im afraid i will never love another girl like i loved you. Open up again after this will not be easy. Crazy how things can go so bad so fast. And the worst part is that is was all my fault. Im sorry im so imature when it comes to sex and love. I just couldent handel you sleeping with more guys than you can count. And 5 in 5 days, that really fucked my head, and still does. I dont think my image of you can get back to what it was and maybe its better if we just stay away from eachother forever.

But guess what, i fixed my impotens! I can have sex like a normal person again!! First time in 8 years! :D That i guess is thanks to you. If i dont break down as much as i did, i never would havestart taking actions to fix it, and probably still be in ignorance about it. So to make sure nothing like this never happens again i started a new life quest. I have nthing better to do with life now anyways. Im going to fuck 100 prostitutes. Now over christmas im going to Amsterdam for 2 weeks than next year sometime i go to Asia for 3 mounths. That would be enough time to get the job done. Then i hope i can then finally let go of the fucking number game and go on with my life. Its probably best if i did not tell you that. But hey, you know me by now. Im to honest, to open and love everything that is taboo.

To bad we never got to go to Austraila and start our kangeroo farm. And to bad "dreamland" is gone in flames. Its a shame we will probably never talk again. But im greatful for what we had. You changed my life forever in both good and bad ways. I have a whole new value system and im much less impulsive. Hope you did not burn the love letters i send you and hop you did not throw our lock into the ocean. and i really hope you delete the emails i send you after the shit whent downhill. All i want now is that you remeber me before all this happened, not just only the worst sides you have seen. Im really sorry about everything! I love you..

 

[SluttyPeach]

Dear D,

I was down for you since the day I met you, babe.. Just wish things hadn't ended the way they did. You didn't have to make up a story and tell people I wanted you to choose between me and your mom. In fact I tried to contact her to see if she was alright, since you told me she was having a hard time and you promised me I'd meet her one day. I figured that would be the right thing to do. All you had to do is tell it like it is, and really all I wanted was for you to talk to me more than twice a week. I tried to be patient and understanding, yet you make me out to be the bad guy. It doesn't matter though because you had already made up your mind. I gave you plenty of opportunities to tell me the real reason why, instead of making up excuses. I gave you the space you asked for. Being honest with me would have been much easier on us both. But I guess that was too much to ask for too. But now I've realized I'm better off without the emotional roller coaster.. It was always something trivial. But since you won't give me a chance to explain, and you decided to slander me on BL and call me names behind my back (heard it from a friend). Yeah, I'm better off without someone as manipulative as you. Despite this, I wish you well with your new lady. I just hope you don't do the same thing to her as you did to me.

Peach

 

[pokepoke420]

Dear ******
I will always love you more than life itself. I know we don't talk anymore, but I pray for you every single night and I hope you go to rehab. I miss you dearly, and not a day goes by where I don't think about you. "see you on the other side."

 

[BadHero]

Dear *******

I have learnt the hard way that being angry does me no favours.

We were together for, on and off, 12 years. You beat me, you raped me, you abused me mentally and emotionally. Your "love" destroyed my soul and left an empty shell.
You sold me to your friends for money so you could get high. You stood and watched as i cried and 3 of them took turns with me.

You didn't win. I have won the battle and the war. I am better, stronger and fucking priceless in comparison to you.

I have found happiness and serenity in my forgiveness. You have learnt nothing and are now alone with nothing but your inner demons to keep you company.

Goodbye.

 

[_Spinderella_]

Dear K,

Thank you.
Thank you from the bottom of my entirely too big heart.

Thank you for coming into my life.
Thank you for pretending to love me. I believed you loved me for five years. You should have won an Emmy for your epic performance!
Thank you for making me an option instead of a priority.

Thank you for being a narcissistic sociopath who will forever be incapable of maintaining a normal relationship.
Thank you for burying me under such a pile of debt that there would be no way to dig myself out. You're welcome. Hope the party was fun!
Thank you for being a coward and sending your friends to play damage control when you fucked up for the millionth time.

Thank you for forcing me to open my eyes to how utterly fucked up our relationship really was.
Thank you for making my decision to turn my back on you and walk away a painless one.

I'm sure you're thinking this is just another snarky and spiteful letter from the mean, nasty, bitch who, at long last, starting using the brain God gave her to see that you had become a hindrance rather than a benefit.

I promise you that isn't the case! There was a moment there where I felt a great deal of antipathy for you...but not anymore. In fact, I owe my very happiness to you and you alone! Having said that...

Thank you for putting B on the phone with me one afternoon. His company was a welcomed change to the never-ending stream of bullshit that I had to listen to when you would call.

Thank you for coming up with the idea to have B parole to my home. I know that being his "brother" and all, you had his best interests at heart; I lived a long way from the neighborhood he came from that got him in trouble. The day I met B, however, something happened that I never anticipated - we developed a close friendship almost immediately. We were inseparable. We spent the weekends eating pizza and catching up on our two favorite shows, Tosh.0 and Ridiculousness. We went on spontaneous adventures...we went and checked out the abandoned dog track; we decided one random night during the week to head out to the desert where we nearly got stuck in what turned out to be the outdoor shooting range after driving down a steep hill to the river bottom; one other random afternoon we decided that we were going to drive down to the border. He made me happy, which was something you hadn't done in a very long time.

After the chain of events that transpired at our last visit, I drove out of the parking lot knowing that was going to be the last time I was going to have to put up with your bullshit. I felt relieved. I also knew my decision meant that I would also be turning my back on a handful of people I had formed friendships with over the years. That was what made me the most sad.

It's funny how things work out. Not only have I managed to reestablish friendships with everybody I regrettably turned my back on when I left you, but every single one of them understand why I vanished like I did. And despite your failed attempts at trying to turn him against me, the relationship B and I have managed to build in a year's time is happier and more unabated than the five years I spent with you.

So, even though I foolishly stayed in a relationship for much longer than I should have where I felt more like a babysitter than a girlfriend that ruined me financially, I can't be angry, because had it not been for you, I wouldn't have found him.

THANK YOU!