THE_REAL_OBLIVION
Bluelight Crew
Hello, HL
I'm 30, 6' and 205lbs. Meaning i'm very so slightly overweight.
I am doing very drastic things in my life right now to bring it back on rails. It is difficult but I came into realization that the party was over for me or that I needed a very long break from it. I've smoked tons of weed for 10 years, i cut back dramatically in that 2 years ago. Well since about 2 years all I was doing was opiates to kill my physical and mental pain. But I stopped that. I'm now on methadone. They had me take ECG's etc. before putting me on it because it's somehow dangerous, that long qt interval shit. Apparently mine was 435 before I started the treatment which saved me from getting in the streets with not a cent in my pockets. And 435 qt interval means I was safe for it.
I have stopped smoking so many cigarettes too, i only smoke 5-6 a day now max. I cannot wear nicotine patches because it shoots my blood pressure into overdrive. I have a very annoying pain/pinching/pushing sensation that comes and goes and varies in intensity all the time. I can wake up without it and then be totally fine and suddenly woops here it comes. I'm very afraid of that methadone side effect since I take a blood pressure lowering medication of any sort since 2008. Next time I go meet my detox doc we will be talking about reducing my methadone dose and to switch me to suboxone as soon as possible. I am out of any BP meds right now so I am not wearing any nicotine patch. I was on clonidine since almost a year, before that i was on a weak dose of a beta blocker but it seemed taking inderal long term wasnt a good idea compared to taking clonidine all year long. That chest thing is scaring me a lot, but it cannot be a heart attack or lethal because it is continous and never ends up into feeling dangerous.
I want to my mom proud of me for once and see her smile for once. I also want to get in shape again for myself
I have the wits and I have the diploma to give myself a better life. I'm willing to do all I need to do to get back in shape. I feel that if I take the methadone for too long I will kill myself due to it fucking up my heart. I'm ready to do all those exercise things I've been told to do all my life as to stay in shape. You only react when you are about to kill yourself I guess, so is human nature, or at least so it is for many random addicts. When should I just tell myself to go the ER to get something for my BP ?
I just wonder what will make the docs take my problem seriously.
All the best to you people
I'm trying to stay positive cos there is no other option.
I'm 30, 6' and 205lbs. Meaning i'm very so slightly overweight.
I am doing very drastic things in my life right now to bring it back on rails. It is difficult but I came into realization that the party was over for me or that I needed a very long break from it. I've smoked tons of weed for 10 years, i cut back dramatically in that 2 years ago. Well since about 2 years all I was doing was opiates to kill my physical and mental pain. But I stopped that. I'm now on methadone. They had me take ECG's etc. before putting me on it because it's somehow dangerous, that long qt interval shit. Apparently mine was 435 before I started the treatment which saved me from getting in the streets with not a cent in my pockets. And 435 qt interval means I was safe for it.
I have stopped smoking so many cigarettes too, i only smoke 5-6 a day now max. I cannot wear nicotine patches because it shoots my blood pressure into overdrive. I have a very annoying pain/pinching/pushing sensation that comes and goes and varies in intensity all the time. I can wake up without it and then be totally fine and suddenly woops here it comes. I'm very afraid of that methadone side effect since I take a blood pressure lowering medication of any sort since 2008. Next time I go meet my detox doc we will be talking about reducing my methadone dose and to switch me to suboxone as soon as possible. I am out of any BP meds right now so I am not wearing any nicotine patch. I was on clonidine since almost a year, before that i was on a weak dose of a beta blocker but it seemed taking inderal long term wasnt a good idea compared to taking clonidine all year long. That chest thing is scaring me a lot, but it cannot be a heart attack or lethal because it is continous and never ends up into feeling dangerous.
I want to my mom proud of me for once and see her smile for once. I also want to get in shape again for myself
I have the wits and I have the diploma to give myself a better life. I'm willing to do all I need to do to get back in shape. I feel that if I take the methadone for too long I will kill myself due to it fucking up my heart. I'm ready to do all those exercise things I've been told to do all my life as to stay in shape. You only react when you are about to kill yourself I guess, so is human nature, or at least so it is for many random addicts. When should I just tell myself to go the ER to get something for my BP ? I just wonder what will make the docs take my problem seriously.
All the best to you people
I'm trying to stay positive cos there is no other option.
