PTSD Chaos centers me...

[somnilicious]

I've kinda talked about this subject before....Because of my past lifestyle I find living life with a slow routine and doing normal everyday tedium very difficult. It all feels so pointless and I start to feel dead inside, which leads to restlessness, boredom, loneliness and the dull feeling that something is just not right.

I crave chaos. It makes me feel centered. I need things to move fast with many moving parts and the threat of danger to feel alive. It's as if I thrive with a certain amount of chaos because I become so laser focused on the moment and solution that I don't have time to ruminate, get bored or over think things.

I try to get out and keep my self active and always doing fun stuff but it always feels like I'm on autopilot, just going through the motions. I need danger... I crave it.

Does anybody else experience this and have recommendations?

Is this a symptom of my PTSD? Should I suppress it? Go to counseling? or should I embrace it and become an adrenaline junkie?

I guess it's kind of like a desire to feel manic.

 

[paranoid android]

I used to feel like that sometimes before i had PTSD. My PTSD is unrelated to that. However after i spent time in the psych ward i no longer like chaos and instead like it boring lol. I think i had enough chaos in there to last me a lifetime.

As for what to do about it you could do worse then become a adrenaline junkie. I used to like riding fast bikes and stuff.

 

[ĐmantuNJofra]

I've kinda talked about this subject before....Because of my past lifestyle I find living life with a slow routine and doing normal everyday tedium very difficult. It all feels so pointless and I start to feel dead inside, which leads to restlessness, boredom, loneliness and the dull feeling that something is just not right.

I crave chaos. It makes me feel centered. I need things to move fast with many moving parts and the threat of danger to feel alive. It's as if I thrive with a certain amount of chaos because I become so laser focused on the moment and solution that I don't have time to ruminate, get bored or over think things.

I try to get out and keep my self active and always doing fun stuff but it always feels like I'm on autopilot, just going through the motions. I need danger... I crave it.

Does anybody else experience this and have recommendations?

Is this a symptom of my PTSD? Should I suppress it? Go to counseling? or should I embrace it and become an adrenaline junkie?

I guess it's kind of like a desire to feel manic.

you just described perfect how i feel last 3 years

 

[Eligiu]

I used to feel like that every day but it got to a point where I was miserable. However, there are still weird days where despite the fact that I really want to not engage in the behaviours I do anymore there is something attractive about the chaos of this type of life. When I catch myself thinking that was I know it is time to pump the breaks.