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Catching feelings with your friend with benefits

poprockz

Greenlighter
Joined
Sep 6, 2013
Messages
17
Location
Fresno, CA
Okay so basically here it is. I found this really hot guy who was down to be my fwb, we both knew what we were getting ourselves into. I mean I just got out of a 3 year relationship so all I wanted was just sex. Well I think we both broke a lot of the fwb rules. We've been texting everyday, all day for 2 straight months now and we always hang out and I usually stay the night with him. See, I just wanted a friend that would be all cute and give me the sex I need but without the committment. Well about a month in I was at the porn store just browsing the toys and he knew this so he texts me "you should buy me a cock ring" I told him "you buy one" and his response was "you buy me one since you like me" i thought that was weird so i replied with "hahaha youre dumb" and he replies with "you only say im dumb because you know i'm right" a few other messages and I told him I would text him a few hours later. It took me about half an hour to get it out of him that he was catching some feelings for me. The sex is so good that I was kind of ignoring that info for awhile until one night, two weeks ago, he stayed at my house and at 4 in the morning, my ex aka my babys daddy shows up -_- They ended up fighting and my ex got pretty beat. My fwb ended up leaving and my ex just stayed on the street curb with my cousin. Well I didn't want to stay at my house so i started walking, i was also texting my fwb making sure he was okay and he had told me had parked by the gas station (we were drinking and he didn't want to risk wrecking his beautiful truck, smart guy) right by my house so I decided to go and meet up with him.
We spent about 2 1/2 hours in his truck talking about a lot of things that have been going on and I also got to break in his truck (; So anyways, that morning when he took me back home, I realized that I may have developed some feelings for him. 3 days later I told him about it and he was pretty excited. He also took me camping with his cousin and his cousins gf this past weekend and it was fun, and banging in the tent was also pretty fun lol
So here it is, we're not together but we flirt a lot and still continue to have sex and cuddle. For myself, I still would rather keep getting to know him for a longer period of time because I also have a daughter and I'm not too fond on bringing her around a lot of random guys. He insists on meeting her and tells me that everything will be fine. I don't think he wants a relationship anytime soon and I don't even know if what we have will lead to one but I'm just really effin confused right now. I mean, could we even start a normal relationship if we've already been having sex? I have never been in this kind of situation and some advice would be really awesome or if anyone is possibly in a similar situation? Please share! Thanks guys!
 
I had a similar situation years ago. I left town and moved away without ever telling her how I felt. That was 14 years ago. I pined for her for 11 years, when fate interviened. We've been together for three years now. I got really lucky. If you're interested, don't let it slip away.
 
Don't bring your daughter around him unless you're sure. Your instinct is right; don't give in to him.
 
^ Plus one.

Sadly I was going to read this thread but, I'm skipping out on this one.

Good luck OP. Next time please space out your post It hurt my eyes and would not read it.
 
Aye no problem welcome to BL.=D

I will gladly give the time to read this thread, and try to give you some advice.
 
Don't bring your daughter around him unless you're sure. Your instinct is right; don't give in to him.
So I ended up bringing her here with me last night, im actually lying next to him now. Things went rather good I would say, he played with her and it was cute. I introduced her to him as my friend. I wasnt too sure about how it would go but I was really curious and I think it went better then I anticipated. And if I do regret this at least I'll learn from my mistakes right?
 
Yes, it's possible to start a relationship with someone if you've already been having sex. You've gotta talk to him about it. Honestly, it seems kinda like an actual relationship anyway!!
 
From a males point of veiw- I think you should slowly carefully ease into to a talk about it.

I say this because I was in a couple FWB relationships that the other party developed feelings and I was just happy with the sex and hangout. Stuff happened and the relationship thing was thrown in my face and it was a shock.. I was unprepared, didn't want it. confusion, etc.

Sometimes in FWB relationships work because it is not a commitment. I know she spends the night at her ex's place once in a while, talks to other guys in certain ways, etc but it's ok we are casual.
Then she says she wants a "relationship"...? with some slut that screws other guys...? no

It changes things.

Just a males perspective on the FWB.
 
It still amazes me that people can have so little regard for each other and themselves to simply have sex without any sort of emotional commitment and attachment.

You're willing to let him penetrate you, but not actually know who you are as a person or have a mature emotional relationship with you. Not judging, because it's your life, I just don't understand how people can do that and expect good results or anything else from it.


FWB to me seems more like people that just do not want to take responsibility for what they are doing.
 
It still amazes me that people can have so little regard for each other and themselves to simply have sex without any sort of emotional commitment and attachment.

You're willing to let him penetrate you, but not actually know who you are as a person or have a mature emotional relationship with you. Not judging, because it's your life, I just don't understand how people can do that and expect good results or anything else from it.


FWB to me seems more like people that just do not want to take responsibility for what they are doing.

Wow, if this is you not judging, I'd hate to see you when you do !

OP, ease into things. Get to know him more, maybe go on dates and spend time together while not having sex. See how things go. If he is still interested without the sex..then maybe talk about exclusivity?
 
Its bound to happen.. oxytocin is released whith sexual activity and orgasm. It then is responsible for social recognition and pair bonding and possibly is also called the "love hormone."

I think that friends with benefits pulled off without getting the feelings involved is really hard. The best approach may be to have a long distance friends with benefits relationship. this may give the natural biological response that binds us with mating pairs because two parents are more successful at raising children. So according to this theory we we seem to sorta fall in love with the people we sleep with. This is also the basis for for a woman really starting to fall in deep when their man makes them come.. and why everything can change after sex.. and why we can feel remarkably different about each other after a half an hour in the sack.

Why a person that is sexually active with two steady partners at a time can feel like they are loosing their mind for a bit.. or why people you sleep with every once and awhile will act totally different towards you for a while after you sleep together and then return to a more normal state only to be transformed again with another sexual encounter. Why so many time "ah it just a little good sex, turns into I dont think I can just do this friends with benefits thing anymore" over the period of a good fuck.
 
He's really hot.
he beat up your ex because he likes you so much.
you have great sex.


why not boyfriend him? Sounds like you want to..
 
Yes, it's possible to start a relationship with someone if you've already been having sex. You've gotta talk to him about it. Honestly, it seems kinda like an actual relationship anyway!!
yeah I know, but I dont like jumping into relationships so soon therefore that is why I'm putting that talk off for the time being. And I usually wait to have sex with someone im interested in so this is so bacjwards for me lol
 
He's the one that seems to have more feelings though. And he's the one that initiates the conversations about him missing me, how he cant wait to see me, how he misses me sleeping next to him, etc.
 
Wow, if this is you not judging, I'd hate to see you when you do !

OP, ease into things. Get to know him more, maybe go on dates and spend time together while not having sex. See how things go. If he is still interested without the sex..then maybe talk about exclusivity?
lol i was thinking the same thing. Whats wrong with having some fun right? Haha
Omg its so hard for me not to have sex with him lol and i dont want to be exclusive right now. Especially when I am wanting a threesome before I get into a relationship haha
 
He's really hot.
he beat up your ex because he likes you so much.
you have great sex.


why not boyfriend him? Sounds like you want to..
I feel like two months isnt enough time for me to decide that. Havibg a daughter too makes me want to be even more careful too. Plus, its hard to know if someone is just playing mind games too. I'm real with him and he seems to think all girls play games so it makes me wonder if hes lying to me. Confused!! Lol
 
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