Eveleivibe
Ex-Bluelighter
I'm so hurt right now. A friend has just betrayed my trust. I showed her a private E-mail n she put it all over the internet. My ex was emotionally abusive, disregarded my feelings n now this friend is doing the same thing. My ex used to watch friends hurt me then he'd befriend them, talk for hours with them, disregarding my feelings n pain. He'd talk with them about my failings like when I could not find a mew place to live etc. i told him how much it hurt but he kept on. Another "friend" found out that I was pregnant n texted me vile things like "I hope that baby gets ripped out of you or that social takes it away as you'll be a crap mam". That hurt me deep as this person had been "friends" with me since we were FIFTEEN. WE GREW UP TOGETHER, shared a lot of precious memories. Since my daughter was born she's hardly bothered but during my pregnancy---my ex, who saw EVERY hurtful text she sent just spent hours on instant messanger talking her F*** my feelings yes he was AS but hayho I deserve to be screwed with n hurt, right???!!!
F*** EVEY lets play with us cause she'll come back for more n all I wanted, all I NEED, more than anything in this world was people that I could TRUST, people that would listen, that would acknowledge my feelings, that would ASK IF ITS OK to do this, that or the other into of doing it anyway.
I just want n NEED people to respect ME as a person, MY feelings, MY opinions.
I'm getting drunk as what's the poibt HEY EVERYONE COME N HURT N ABUSE EVEY N PUT MY PRIVATE E-mailS ONLINE. YEA ITS FINE IM LONELY SO ITS OK JUST TREAT ME LIKE ****.
What is the point in bothering with therapy or any of it... Just to be abused, controlled n disregarded. He'd locked away from my life but he's still winning.
I try do hard to recovery from my addictions but what do I get eh???? Hurt, rejection, pain, comtrol- the EXACT stiff I was trying to block with codeine..., but codeine's weak, right a walk in the f park!!!!
There was a place i went recently
N the rejected me, messed with me for two weeks n just dropped me. I loved it there so very much because I could express myself my "friend" saw to it I was gone by "pretending" to not be my friend, yet I saw her say hings like "she guilt trips me, she begs me" I WAS F HEARTBROKEN. I THOUGHT OUR FRIENDSHIP WAS MUTUAL N IF I THOUGHT FOR ONE MINUTE IT WAS THROUGHT GUILTS I'D HAVE CUT CONTACT. I was completely DISTRAUGHT!!!! She still claims to care about me then why do that.
I'm so tired of it all n am drink f it all n sobrietrt. What's the tpoint when I 'll be rejected from here soon anyway.
EVEY
The one everyone finds a joke
F*** EVEY lets play with us cause she'll come back for more n all I wanted, all I NEED, more than anything in this world was people that I could TRUST, people that would listen, that would acknowledge my feelings, that would ASK IF ITS OK to do this, that or the other into of doing it anyway.
I just want n NEED people to respect ME as a person, MY feelings, MY opinions.
I'm getting drunk as what's the poibt HEY EVERYONE COME N HURT N ABUSE EVEY N PUT MY PRIVATE E-mailS ONLINE. YEA ITS FINE IM LONELY SO ITS OK JUST TREAT ME LIKE ****.
What is the point in bothering with therapy or any of it... Just to be abused, controlled n disregarded. He'd locked away from my life but he's still winning.
I try do hard to recovery from my addictions but what do I get eh???? Hurt, rejection, pain, comtrol- the EXACT stiff I was trying to block with codeine..., but codeine's weak, right a walk in the f park!!!!
There was a place i went recently
N the rejected me, messed with me for two weeks n just dropped me. I loved it there so very much because I could express myself my "friend" saw to it I was gone by "pretending" to not be my friend, yet I saw her say hings like "she guilt trips me, she begs me" I WAS F HEARTBROKEN. I THOUGHT OUR FRIENDSHIP WAS MUTUAL N IF I THOUGHT FOR ONE MINUTE IT WAS THROUGHT GUILTS I'D HAVE CUT CONTACT. I was completely DISTRAUGHT!!!! She still claims to care about me then why do that.
I'm so tired of it all n am drink f it all n sobrietrt. What's the tpoint when I 'll be rejected from here soon anyway.
EVEY
The one everyone finds a joke
