EkittieX
Bluelighter
Sixteen years old
They said I had the world in the palm of my hand
No one knew of the cold
That pumped through my blood like hours made of sand
Didn’t know my ego was bruised
By the representatives of what I wished I had
Didn’t know I was being used
Thought it was adoration that made me so glad
Every introduction became a prospect
For a love that would complete my interior
My submission is what they’d expect
Once they knew what I wanted to hear
One day the unthinkable changed my existence
In a panic I tried to disbelieve my growth and decadence
I couldn’t turn back to those hours to ignorance
Reality hit, and all I knew was my insignificance
Then the answer came
From advice from an elder
I had no duty to my name
I could just start over
For the destruction I had help, and I was grateful
The procedure to save me was complete
I was only myself, and I could again be beautiful
But my core had changed and I was not me
What did I do, so recklessly, foolishly
How did I throw my gift away
Not much thought on how I acted so selfishly
I pretended that tomorrow is a new day
But tomorrow is NOT a new day
Not for those who aren’t able to rebegin
Those crucial moments will always replay
In my memory of my most terrible decision
Without guidance my adulthood was activated
I can look to no one but myself to blame
I wish on the consequences I’d been educated
But wishes will not help my self-trust be gained
I'm really nervous about posting this here. It's the most private thing I've ever written. I know I'm not the best writer ever or anything, but it really does help sometimes to put my stuff on this board. Thanks to those of you who read this, and I hope nobody hates me as much as I once did.
They said I had the world in the palm of my hand
No one knew of the cold
That pumped through my blood like hours made of sand
Didn’t know my ego was bruised
By the representatives of what I wished I had
Didn’t know I was being used
Thought it was adoration that made me so glad
Every introduction became a prospect
For a love that would complete my interior
My submission is what they’d expect
Once they knew what I wanted to hear
One day the unthinkable changed my existence
In a panic I tried to disbelieve my growth and decadence
I couldn’t turn back to those hours to ignorance
Reality hit, and all I knew was my insignificance
Then the answer came
From advice from an elder
I had no duty to my name
I could just start over
For the destruction I had help, and I was grateful
The procedure to save me was complete
I was only myself, and I could again be beautiful
But my core had changed and I was not me
What did I do, so recklessly, foolishly
How did I throw my gift away
Not much thought on how I acted so selfishly
I pretended that tomorrow is a new day
But tomorrow is NOT a new day
Not for those who aren’t able to rebegin
Those crucial moments will always replay
In my memory of my most terrible decision
Without guidance my adulthood was activated
I can look to no one but myself to blame
I wish on the consequences I’d been educated
But wishes will not help my self-trust be gained
I'm really nervous about posting this here. It's the most private thing I've ever written. I know I'm not the best writer ever or anything, but it really does help sometimes to put my stuff on this board. Thanks to those of you who read this, and I hope nobody hates me as much as I once did.
