TDS can't stomach it

keeping

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I used to be attractive.

This one thought keeps echoing around my head, I used to be good looking. I know its vain, and shallow, and that only makes me hate myself more. But when I was active in my addiction, I had great bone-structure. Not gaunt and hollow, just, nice. I could get any girl I wanted, even my guy friends complimented me.

Now I'm on all these horrible medications, I can't even fit into my old clothes, I cried trying to put on my favourite pair of jeans because nothing fits. I went to a friends party a few months ago and when I saw the pictures that I had been tagged in my heart just dropped, I look, I don't look like me anymore. I'm certain that somewhere in an attic there is a picture of me getting younger. My meds have stopped the panic attacks, and the voices, but I'm basically eating my emotions now. I feel nothing, except if being constantly hungry and tired is a feeling. My depression is worse than ever, I won't go out and see anyone, I've started avoiding meals, I have two starve days a week. I'm so close to snapping, to go back into using. I just want my life back, I want my face back, I want my clothes back.

I used to be happy.
 
Go read up on nutrition and weight loss. There is no reason to starve yourself. Lose done weight your face will look much better. Look up some appetite suppressants. Wake up every morning go for a run, itll help you not want to " ruin" your work out by pigging out.

Give yourself 2 weeks of dedication and you'll be a different person.

Not to be harsh, but we both know the only person who can fix you is you. Nobody is gonna stop you from stuffing your face, making poor food choices, and sitting on your ass. Get yourself motivated (i know its not simple like that depression and all) the warm weather is on its way and drop 30 pounds in 3 months with diet and exercise. Look at it as your life is literally on the line here, and its time.

We cant force you so hopefully with words we can help or push you .

2 choices

Option 1- stay in your current mess and he even more unhappy 3 months from now having gained more weight.

Option 2- go for it all right now . Say enough is enough. Orchestrate a plane of 6 meals a day ranging from 2-300 calories per. Get a little exercise program going and be a changed man 3 months from now in may. Once you start and see progress you wont want to stop

Id choose option. 2.

And please forgive me im not making lite of the depression i know you dont just a snap out if it like people who never gone through it would say. But regardless, we know its time for some change
 
It is true that lots of medications cause weight gain--and not just from being hungry all the time. Talk to your doctor about it because maybe it can change with dosage? I know for a fact that this is "side effect" that causes a lot of anguish for people. They feel damned if they take the meds and damned if they don't. The thing is, meds can only go so far and then it all comes right back into your own lap. Whether you stay on meds or not, you will have to face the hard choices of diet and exercise and getting therapy that helps your depression. A lot of people end up changing their relationship to their own health so drastically that they find they can lessen the dosages they are on and still get the same results. And btw, I don't think it is vain at all to feel the way you do. We are all conscious of how we look.
 
i too know the shock that comes from finally realising the state of my withering away. belts dont hold, dress shirts for work look roomy and dishelved.. i must have looked like a god damn MESS coming into work everyday, throwing on the clothes of a once healthy professional. it had to have been obvious. i eventually got fired from that position, but i knew it was coming.

i remember always speeding down the highway, late as always, crying.. trying to straighten a tie through sobbing. my ex-girlfriend noticed too, she thought it was thyroid disease.. i hid it from her well i suppose.

not the healthiest of plans, but i have recovered most of my weight- but it took several months worth of sober appetite to fatten me up before i relapsed. i now maintain a weight rather than just losing it. for many of us, smoking joints eases recovery but should also stimulate appetite. binge a little, you can afford it (:
 
Nygiants n Herb both give good advice. Try to exercise even if its a little bit of walking n making healthier food choices at first. Also talk to your doctor. It's nit vain to worry about your appearance. It's perfectly natural n I'm sorry you're feeling depressed. You can turn things around though with support n positive thinking.

Hang in there.

Evey
 
I know the feeling. Lots of medication lower your metabolism and others simply make you gain weight.
And the lack of motivation to exercise. Just a reminder that sometimes, we are our worst critics.

One thing that you can actually do right now ( while you gather your strength to exercise) is to not gain more. If you can't lose weight right now, make sure you don't get more. That's easier..

Stick to a moderate diet, don't starve ( you'll lose muscle) and stay put. Prepare yourself mentally by creating a strategy of things you can and will be able to do.
 
I once was on seroquel and I gained 60 pounds in 3 months. Afterwards I had a diabetes test and it came back positive. Lost weight and was all good.

Be careful as allot of meds can cause that and also make you feel numb. There appears to be a trend of dr's prescribing anti-psychotics for off lable reasons. I was prescribed seroquel for insomnia. I would most certainly bring your concerns to your doctor and if they don't take them seriously, consider another doctor.
 
By starving yourself you WILL GAIN MORE WEIGHT. When you starve yourself , the next time you eat it sends your body this message "store this as fat for the next starvation period. Your body is an amazing thing n will compensate for losses of things (the brain is especially good at this plasticity). Drink plenty of water with common sense. Drinking plenty of water reduces bloating, stops dehydration (your skin will look better) but not too much that it dilutes your sodium levels.

Try to eat foods containing omega 3, again good for skin n B vitamins, good for mood. Vitamin D (from the sun so maybe a hour's walking) will be good for bones n skin.

Veg, fruit.

All in moderation.

People spent a fortune on creams for hair n skin. You can do it for food, water n exercise.

Evey
 
I know the feeling. Lots of medication lower your metabolism and others simply make you gain weight.
And the lack of motivation to exercise. Just a reminder that sometimes, we are our worst critics.

One thing that you can actually do right now ( while you gather your strength to exercise) is to not gain more. If you can't lose weight right now, make sure you don't get more. That's easier..

Stick to a moderate diet, don't starve ( you'll lose muscle) and stay put. Prepare yourself mentally by creating a strategy of things you can and will be able to do.

Just to point out, unless you've been on an actual neuroleptic, you cannot possibly relate to the hell that is day to day life on neuroleptics. If you were on Mirtazapine or something you have no idea what its like to be on actual antipsychotics.

OP, what condition have you been diagnosed with and what meds do you take? I had that horrible poisonous shit forced upon me against my will for bipolar disorder, so I know that hollow, empty depression, the constant hunger and the inevitable weight gain that comes with them.
 
By starving yourself you WILL GAIN MORE WEIGHT. When you starve yourself , the next time you eat it sends your body this message "store this as fat for the next starvation period. Your body is an amazing thing n will compensate for losses of things (the brain is especially good at this plasticity). Drink plenty of water with common sense. Drinking plenty of water reduces bloating, stops dehydration (your skin will look better) but not too much that it dilutes your sodium levels.

Try to eat foods containing omega 3, again good for skin n B vitamins, good for mood. Vitamin D (from the sun so maybe a hour's walking) will be good for bones n skin.

Veg, fruit.

All in moderation.

People spent a fortune on creams for hair n skin. You can do it for food, water n exercise.

Evey

True! Great advice Evey. :)
 
I don't have a lot of experience with antipsychotic type meds, but have you brought this up with your doctor? Do they have anything to say about it? They should. If their job is to help care for your mental well being and this is affecting your mental well being, then it's pretty clearly their problem too.

Another thought I'm having though: how long ago was it that you first got on these meds? I'm assuming just from how it sounds that it's not like a lot of years have passed to the point where age could explain the problem, but that led me to another thought: have you gotten any kind of comprehensive blood testing recently? There are a whole lot of different medicines that can fuck up hormonal levels, and there's no quicker way to screw a guy up than to drastically lower his testosterone levels. For us males it's super important, and the weight gain and muscle loss and feeling tired and depressed and whatnot would all be symptoms of low testosterone levels. Again, I'm not too familiar with the whole antipsychotics deal and that particular "deal" is pretty complex and likely reponsible, but hey, if it's affecting you that much even if it's not super likely it would still be a pretty good idea to check. Plus if that IS the issue that would likely be a fairly easy fix with testosterone replacement therapy.
 
Just to point out, unless you've been on an actual neuroleptic, you cannot possibly relate to the hell that is day to day life on neuroleptics. If you were on Mirtazapine or something you have no idea what its like to be on actual antipsychotics.

OP, what condition have you been diagnosed with and what meds do you take? I had that horrible poisonous shit forced upon me against my will for bipolar disorder, so I know that hollow, empty depression, the constant hunger and the inevitable weight gain that comes with them.

thanks everyone for all the replies, sorry for not getting back sooner i've been pretty low recently.

MDD, GAD, and a working diagnosis of drug induced psychosis, possible bipolar.
I'm on mirtazipine and quetiapine, i absolutely hate them. they tried switching me over to venlafaxine and i had an episode and harmed myself.
i've brought up my concerns about weight gain multiple times but they sort of brush them off. despite the fact i loath my self image right now, and feel lower than ever, they seem to prefer that to when i'm talking to people trapped in the walls and digging around in my arm for bugs. 27 stitches. numb is better than dead i guess.

thanks for all the great advice on vitamins, and i'm not starving myself currently, i wouldn't advise it.

one day at a time i guess

on another note, does anyone know if my arm will look normal again? i went pretty deep, to the tendon, and now they're all lumpy and distorted.
 
^I know it would be a huge effort,- but, man, IMHO you need to find a doctor interested in your mental well being first... Then focus on the weight. From your above post it doesn't read like your meds are doing you any good.

Just to commiserate, Im not yet familiar with antipsychotics, but years ago when I started out on a high dose on Gabapentin I would just sit & observe..oh, an hours gone by & I've not moved from my couch.. Then another hour. And so my days continued.

Weight is not set in stone, please keep that in mind. When you're feeling more mentally stable you can sort that. Start with the bigger issue.

Likewise, I'm not happy with my current looks, I've noticably lost a heap of weight that I really couldn't afford to lose. Just last night I was thinking of the saying "choose your face or your arse", my face is gaunt & I'm no longer so pretty...but you've probably got no wrinkles & a bootiliscious backside.

Silver linings buddy

Rtp
 
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