Cant interact

[Lord]

I cant interact with many people (this has become a serious problem for me) in reality because of my paranoia and mainly social anxiety, but I also cant interact with an online community now because anything I'd say would probably be irrelevant or dumb, and I know for a fact that a significant portion of the real and online community would simply see me as a fag and an attention whore. True as it may be, these people really don't help people like me because they largely ignore or minimize the relevant information. just another extension to the feeling of imprisonment

 

[Bojangles69]

Why would anything you say be "irrelevant or dumb"?
The post you just made is niether or, and you're obviously being too hard on yourself.

A good method for overcoming social anxiety is to first get on a med that addresses your specific anxiety, and then go out into the real world and desensitize yourself to anxiety provoking stimuli. But its important that the med you're on actually will somewhat allow you to do this.

When you are in public, and feel "anxiety", how does that anxiety manifest for you? Is it largely physical, like rapid heart beat, pounding chest, loss of breath, or is it more psychological like your mind can't stop racing, you're always fearing the worst in your head, etc. Some people really don't need ssris when their anxiety is largely physical while others with a heavier psych component can benefit from them, and benzos among other things.

Have you tried meds? Which ones? And please describe your anxiety a bit clearer as I'd like to try helping you. Like how does the anxiety start, is it always triggered by social events? Because thats much better imo then if its happening randomly for no reason which tends to allude to more of a biological predisposition. Let us know!

 

[silentangst]

Social anxiety is a big problem I'm having at the moment, getting worse by the day unfortunately. However I find it helpful posting online, and I can tell you that no-one in TDS will consider anything you've said irrelevant or dumb. Have you talked to a psychologist about this problem or are you just keeping it to yourself?

 

[silentangst]

Yeah, I'm about to pay out the ass for mine as well but it might be worth looking into. They really cdan help.

 

[ocean]

Lord, you need to give yourself more credit

Social anxiety is pretty common.
There are a number of natural ways of dealing with it, like deep breathing, focusing on one point of interest and not letting your mind race.........I used to be very socially anxious, now I think I'm just socially awkward hahaha IT can get better- and if you have problems you want to discuss, let's talk about them here.
TDS is a good, safe, and welcoming environment- people are not so judgmental b/c many of us can relate.

Hope you're feeling better today, but we're here if you want to discuss

 

[Lord]

Why would anything you say be "irrelevant or dumb"?

I used to post in BDD almost every day while sedated on a number of drugs, and it's catching up to me a little. Especially since BDD is noticeably less 'understanding' than TDS.

Sometimes I feel like everyone has an everlasting grudge on me (I can see the anger in your face, Ocean. The anger that is building up from the last time you suspended me, LOL. As we can see, it's BS). It just piles up quickly while depleting slowly.

I usually expect someone to make judgements because so many people think they are right about you when they aren't, and make judgements about you, but I know that I could be the insane one, unaware of myself, so I don't always mention it... then I take some benzos and alcohol and let it all out, on the inside I feel content but it's often contentment with being angry and rude.

focusing on one point of interest and not letting your mind race.........

My mind is kind of empty of thoughts in general, and at the same time full of dark ones. I can hardly focus on one thing... I watch something which is completely boring for the five hundredth time (I'm being easy on myself when I say that) while I am high, then I quickly branch off to other thoughts, then just dark ones, then almost none, so I'm left to scan my perception-stained environment obsessively as a sort of automatic distraction. Repeat. Repeat. Repeat. Repeat. Get out of the bubble for a day, realize it's a good thing, feel sick when I think about it, get back into the bubble. Repeat. Repeat...

Yes, I do talk about it to the few people who I sometimes see, and to the people at BL, but I can't muster up the courage to see a psychiatrist or a doctor. I'm letting myself rot away. I'm not unhealthy, I was unhealthy a year ago. I don't even know what I am now, my looks are changing, and I don't know how much of it is me. I see weird things on my skin, or my skin has splotches of colour with the veins all weird and maze-like... but when I ask one of my parents what my skin looks like, they describe exactly what I see, minus the insect-like movement and swaying of hairs.
I often think about things like what if I've got food and cum stains all over my clothes but I'm too drugged to see it... invisible only to me

 

[Lord]

The unintentional irony in my last post is great
Posts like that of Bojangles and Ocean are always a temporary moodlifter.

When you are in public, and feel "anxiety", how does that anxiety manifest for you? Is it largely physical, like rapid heart beat, pounding chest, loss of breath, or is it more psychological like your mind can't stop racing, you're always fearing the worst in your head, etc.

Sometimes I just feel really weak and introverted and a little shaky and I think I look retarded, other times (when I've been using) I feel adrenaline running through my heart, then a stronger and (slightly) faster heartbeat, then my eyes feel warm and dry and I sometimes hear ringing.

It rarely gets really bad, but when it does that's another story. It's almost like every building or every room is a variation of the same dystopian prison.

In general, I feel this constant pulling sensation on my body and reality which provokes anxiety, and it can come closer and closer a sort of snap or ripping of the 'greenscreen' of reality/vision. I get anxiety thinking about my current situation, past situations, future ones, and I sometimes feel like everything is possible, something could fall on me and kill me, cops could bust in here any second, my mom is dead, or sometimes if I want to feel relaxed and an object is going to take me on a trip (the object and I bounce out of reality and go on weird mental adventures)

Have you tried meds? Which ones? And please describe your anxiety a bit clearer as I'd like to try helping you. Like how does the anxiety start, is it always triggered by social events? Because thats much better imo then if its happening randomly for no reason which tends to allude to more of a biological predisposition. Let us know!

I am on a low dose (50-100mg) of Seroquel which is helping, but it feels inefficient and crappy. That's the only 'med' I'm taking.
The anxiety is always there unless I'm sedated, but it starts to go away when the withdrawal symptoms begin. Social events are just unbearable sometimes, but lately I've been able to see friends 1-2 times a week.

 

[sipx]

Social anxiety is certainly a tough one. Sucks, been there, have to deal with it on the regular.

I'm currently on neurontin, 300mg x 2 a day. The doctor wanted to put me on seroquel, which i've been on before. 25mg makes me fall right asleep.

I used to be on neurontin 800mg x 4 a day, but always heavily abused it because it could give a buzz. (along with near crippling depression and anxiety that can last for a week after your last dosage)

 

[CoffeeDrinker]

I have a thought, perhaps your trouble isn't that you "have" social anxiety, it's just how you view social situations and small talk in general.
What if instead of you thinking that everything you say is dumb or irrelevant it's really you thinking that when everyone talks it sounds dumb and irrelevant to you, so you don't really know how to respond to things that may seem not worth bringing up in the first place.
Have you ever tried to wholly reject your natural mental biases and see life as it really is, with no labels?
Then when it comes to meet and greets with random people you can just relax.

 

[sipx]

I have a thought, perhaps your trouble isn't that you "have" social anxiety, it's just how you view social situations and small talk in general.
What if instead of you thinking that everything you say is dumb or irrelevant it's really you thinking that when everyone talks it sounds dumb and irrelevant to you, so you don't really know how to respond to things that may seem not worth bringing up in the first place.
Have you ever tried to wholly reject your natural mental biases and see life as it really is, with no labels?
Then when it comes to meet and greets with random people you can just relax.

Valuable point of view and a fresh perspective.

 

[CoffeeDrinker]

Yeah I have transformed my view of small talk over the years.
I used to abhor it, and only wanted to talk about theoretical physics and music and politics, etc. then I realized it's just a way for two people to brighten up their day.
I think a person's skill in small talk is a great measure of how well adjusted they are to the world in general, whereas when I was younger I thought it was just a complete waste of time, and that view severely limited the amount of friends I had.
As for the OP, I really believe that these mental habits we have (aka the various "anxieties" discussed here) are not too difficult to change and condition to a more positive point of view if you are determined to do so and are willing to accept the set-backs as they come and learn from them.

 

[Lord]

I have a thought, perhaps your trouble isn't that you "have" social anxiety, it's just how you view social situations and small talk in general.
What if instead of you thinking that everything you say is dumb or irrelevant it's really you thinking that when everyone talks it sounds dumb and irrelevant to you, so you don't really know how to respond to things that may seem not worth bringing up in the first place.
Have you ever tried to wholly reject your natural mental biases and see life as it really is, with no labels?
Then when it comes to meet and greets with random people you can just relax.

I am pretty sure it's a combination of both, I often say dumb, irrelevant, and/or embarrassing things largely because I'm on drugs, and I often think I'm saying dumb, irrelevant and/or embarrassing things whether I am or not, largely because I'm on drugs.

Yes, I've tried it with some success, but that was a while ago and I've been too confused and mentally fatigued since then. On the outside, I'll feel a little agitated and judgemental, on the inside everyone and everything seems to have it's way of compensating for itself and everything else, and I feel that while nothing is equal, everything and everyone is of equal value.

Also, people think they're responsible for themselves but they are really affected by a variety of other things. Two examples: there's the social chain reaction, people who are traumatized may traumatize others later on (etc.), and the way people may compensate for their emotional problems by acting opposite to how they feel (and often making fools of themselves).

We aren't born with the choice of being nice or evil, and we are shaped by everything else as we age. Those who aren't nice probably had something similar happen to them, in a sense they play the victimizer instead of the victim. Everything runs on the laws of physics and interpreted in the language of mathematics. The universe (or multiverse) is an engine of novel chain reactions at every level, from atoms to humans. Chemistry is a generalized way to study complex physical systems and biology is a generalized way to study complex chemical and physical systems. In my opinion, consciousness is an extremely complex illusion. I hope I'm not rambling.

 

[highhooked]

^possibly quitting or reducing drug use could help?

 

[CoffeeDrinker]

^Quitting drugs is a big helping factor. I'm currently in the process of it myself.
I feel like I can definitely relate to the OP because we'd probably hang out with each other if we knew each other judging from our shared sense of verbal aesthetics.

I am pretty sure it's a combination of both, I often say dumb, irrelevant, and/or embarrassing things largely because I'm on drugs, and I often think I'm saying dumb, irrelevant and/or embarrassing things whether I am or not, largely because I'm on drugs.

Yes, I've tried it with some success, but that was a while ago and I've been too confused and mentally fatigued since then. On the outside, I'll feel a little agitated and judgemental, on the inside everyone and everything seems to have it's way of compensating for itself and everything else, and I feel that while nothing is equal, everything and everyone is of equal value.

Also, people think they're responsible for themselves but they are really affected by a variety of other things. Two examples: there's the social chain reaction, people who are traumatized may traumatize others later on (etc.), and the way people may compensate for their emotional problems by acting opposite to how they feel (and often making fools of themselves).

We aren't born with the choice of being nice or evil, and we are shaped by everything else as we age. Those who aren't nice probably had something similar happen to them, in a sense they play the victimizer instead of the victim. Everything runs on the laws of physics and interpreted in the language of mathematics. The universe (or multiverse) is an engine of novel chain reactions at every level, from atoms to humans. Chemistry is a generalized way to study complex physical systems and biology is a generalized way to study complex chemical and physical systems. In my opinion, consciousness is an extremely complex illusion. I hope I'm not rambling.

Yet you still feel like you have a particularly unique case of social anxiety or else you wouldn't have been bothered by it to the point of making this thread.

Cosmically speaking, there are few things as important as small talk and "coffee dates" or some such thing.
No pressure or anything.

 

[ocean]

Lord, you're getting some valuable insight and advice here!!

So, just to clear up- You are currently on a low dose of Seroquel, take benzos and drink alcohol?
Are you prescribed benzos?
Do you drink every night?

I really think coffeedrinker is hitting it all dead on.
So all I can say at this point is that, (like your other posts example of what you thought I was thinking or feeling towards you), much of it may just be insecurity I think........
I had social anxiety, felt that small talk was beyond irritating and retreated from situations where I'd be required to interact with others for a long while. I guess there was a part deep down that was afraid of rejection or afraid that another persons thoughts of me would influence my thoughts of me.........FOR ME the retreat was a good time for me to learn to love myself. (That was actually a long process and I think I am always growing and changing and learning to love myself) but once you are confident with who you are, and you find your center- interacting becomes easier.

 

[wetwolves]

Honestly from personal experience I recommend the MAOI Nardil. It works wonders for SA. Like totally whoops its ass. takes some time to kick in but when it does you will know its worth it. God bless.