Can't believe how addictive meth is!

[casual44]

I've accidentally taken meth twice, once it was a meth bomb pill sold as ecstasy. The second time it was laced in with some cocaine.

Both times were amazing, but that's not what I want to write about. What I want to say is how astounded I am at HOW LITTLE CONTROL over my own actions I have when on a meth comedown...

In a moment of clarity two days after using meth-laced coke all weekend, I gave the rest of the laced coke to my boyfriend to hide, and now I am full of conspiracy theories about how he's going to steal it from me... God this stuff is insane... It is the only drug that has ever fucked with my intellectual part of my brain. With every other drug, I've always been able to have that part separate to monitor my experience and control my usage. This time, it's invading me and making me think that I have to keep taking it... It's not like alcohol where I just think, "It'll be easier to talk to people if I have a drink at the bar". It's like it's implanted this thought in my mind at the deepest possible level: "My life will be better if i take meth and ANYTHING is worth taking crystal again, even breaking up with my boyfriend (if he won't let me take it) or losing everything I have." This thought seems to be permanent and does not get weaker over time. Even when I gave him the stuff to hide, I made him swear that he wouldn't take it and that he wouldn't destroy it and that we would use it at some point in the future...

That last point is the most important. Even though I've accidentally used this drug (I consciously tried to stay away from it because I knew its effects), now that I've used it twice, I KNOW for a fact that I will do it again. I crave it with such an urgency that even after being away from it for 4 months, I still think longingly of how I felt when I was high, and I make plans and work on finding suppliers for when I'll use it again.

The only thing that has lessened my longing for another try at meth was one glorious day where I took 6 very strong MDMA pills (which I tested and did not contain any meth). For about a week afterwards, I completely lost the urge to try meth again, but after a week, the longing returned.

I've made it through two awful meth comedowns. Any advice for a new user how to avoid this drug from destroying my life? I know I can't stop myself from using it again...

 

[Legerity]

You seem quite determined that you will do meth again. Do you want to? Or do you feel that you are not in control?

If you think that meth has some sort of power of you, just remember that you have lived the last 4 months without the high. The drug does not have any magic effect on you, your mind is creating the desire to get high on meth again. What is your mind telling you...that you need the feeling? That you'll never feel that good any other way? That meth is so powerful that you can't stop using it after you've tried it? You don't need to listen to everything your mind tells you, thoughts come and go.

If you already feel that you are willing to lose everything you have to achieve that high, then that's can be a pretty good warning sign for you.

If I can make one recommendation it would be to not romanticize the drug and tell yourself how powerful and almighty it is. Some people will try it and then never do it or do it occasionally, whereas other people will take to it right away and develop major issues. I just think that there's a lot of demonizing with speed that makes it become a self-fulfilling prophecy because people think it is something with god-like powers that will automatically take over you.

I say this NOT AT ALL to encourage you to use it, but to look at your attitude toward the drug and question why it is has consumed your thoughts so much. It sounds like you have attributed so much importance to it even though you've barely used it and have gone extended periods of time without it. So don't think because you did it once or twice that you are necessarily destined to continue using it.

You don't need it, you don't need to sacrifice your life for it, and you can find peace of mind elsewhere. It's true!

 

[Bojangles69]

As far as drugs go methamphetamine will cause exponentially more damage to your brain than any drug I can think of.
It triggers so much dopamine that it dissolves brain tissue like ammonia (amine are toxic). It kills off blood vessels in the brain as well, and sensitizes your adrenal glands SO MUCH over time that stimuli as simple as a door shutting will throw you into a paranoid fit of panic.

I'm telling you this drug is NOT to be taken lightly. I look at other horrific drugs like heroin and even heroin is a walk in the park compared to what meth will do to your brain. The ONLY drug in the world that actually has a fucking psychosis named after it. Please think carefully before you ever choose to use this drug again. It really IS more a poison than a drug worth getting high off of and if you don't know why yet you will in a very short amount of time.

 

[Lolie]

I don't think that you can use it without destroying your life if you're willing to lose everything for that high. The people who can use "ZOMG instant addiction" drugs recreationally tend to be a bit ambivalent about them - yeah, they're nice but not worth the X, Y or Z to use more than occasionally. They're happy to feel the high every now and then and don't crave it full-time.

Even more worrying, it sounds like you've planned for your boyfriend to use meth too - so you're talking about the potential fucking up of two lives.

I think it's good that you have enough awareness to realise that you're willing to pay a high price to use meth again, perhaps you have enough insight to know why that's your choice - and it is a choice, one which you're making in advance. Maybe you could talk to a counsellor about why you feel compelled to make a choice you acknowledge to be self-destructive - especially when you say your first two ingestions were accidental.

You need to stop pretending that you have no agency here. You can stop yourself from using it again but you've already chosen not to. We can't tell you that's a choice without negative consequence, but if you're willing to lose your relationship to do it again then end it before that happens and spare your boyfriend the drama which goes with being second choice to a drug.

 

[unsettled]

have you ever spent a decent amount of time with people on meth? I used to occasionally buy pot and adderall from this girl who was into meth waaaay too deep. everytime I met up with her she would be living in a different cheap hotel, wearing the same clothes, watching the same tv shows over and over again and always had some older boyfriend who would just lay on the bed and take a hit of the pipe every five minutes. It's the most fucked up scene I've ever seen, I've had other friends who got into meth who just never came back, they're physically there but there soul is gone.

The other sad thing about meth is that so many of these people seem to think that there isn't a world beyond their little town and their immediate circle of friends, meth is their universe. It's so sad these young people who could do anything settle for this fucked up meth induced psychosis pseudo world.

I've never tried meth but I do see how easy it could be to fall into that world, which is why I never tried it any of the times I was offered it. Had I been offered meth in a different situation at a more naieve time in my life I may have tried it, but seeing the way they lived made me want nothing to do with the drug.

Of course I would buy adderall off the girl so I do see the contradiction in my post, I just think that meth takes amphetamine to a dangerous place and I've seen too many good friends disappear into that place and never come back.

Be very careful and think long and hard before you decide to do it again. Go find some hardcore meth heads and hang out with them and see if that's what you want.

 

[Bearlove]

How do you know your pills / coke were 'meth based'? Are you new to drugs in general?

Mayby your fixating on the wrong problem - maybe your just starting your drug use where most drugs feel amazing and your desire to take them again is very strong. You, then may be confusing this lust to experiment further with the thought of addiction to meth (to you meth may be the most addictive drug so 1 + 1 = 3).

It seems highly unlikely that you could be fiending the meth high when you havent actually experienced it.

Meth in pills is real but the amounts used as an adulterant are very small - meth laced coke, I've never heard of it. Dealers normally use an inactive cut as they are cheaper or use something that will give the same sort of high as the original product is supposed to feel like.

 

[casual44]

I appreciate greatly the supportive comments; you've given me a lot to think about. I was a little unclear about this in my posting, so I'd like to point out that I wrote the post during a comedown and was feeling particularly hopeless at the moment. Today, I can finally feel the self-control portion of my brain starting to work again, and I know I can handle this (thank God!)...

My point in writing was to express to non-users simply how astonishingly addictive this drug can be. I've only had a tiny bit of exposure and am dealing with these strong feelings.

Bearlove: How do I know it's meth? The pill was tested by ecstasydata and found to contain methamphetamine and caffeine. I also tested it with my own Marquis reagent. The coke also turned the same shade of orange/brown as the pill changed for me with Marquis. In addition, the subjective effects of the coke were identical to the pill (couldn't sleep at all, insanely high libido, uncontrollable jaw clenching, dilated pupils, intense feelings of superiority/confidence, etc.). Also I will note that I've tried quite a few drugs, and the only ones that produce feelings of cravings/addiction for me are coke (but it goes away within a week) and meth (hasn't gone away yet). Everything else I can take it or leave it. There is often a desire to experiment further, but that's a different feeling altogether and is always accompanied by lots of careful thought, planning, and reading, and is very much an intellectual decision. The craving/addiction is more of a raw feeling like hunger and is not controllable (though I can of course choose not to act on it, just as you can choose not to eat when you are hungry).

 

[Bearlove]

Thanks for the clarification, I was just curious to know how you knew this high was associated from meth and meth alone.

Remember that Marquis turning orange is a sign of speed and not 'just' methamphetamine - it seems strange that a dealer would cut coke with a stim like speed though :0. Need to ask, if you tested your coke and it turned orange - why take it? Did you bleach test it also to see if there was any actual coke incase you were just racking lines of speed?

Good speed is so easy to run into problems with though - the high is like nothing else and its so easy to keep bumping to avoid the comedowns.

Safe

 

[villian]

Remember that Marquis turning orange is a sign of speed and not 'just' methamphetamine - it seems strange that a dealer would cut coke with a stim like speed though

word on the street is stretching trash coke with a small amount of good meth is an affordable way to make your coke appear better and keep people who don't know any better coming back

 

[casual44]

word on the street is stretching trash coke with a small amount of good meth is an affordable way to make your coke appear better and keep people who don't know any better coming back

I have heard this as well, and it is backed up by anecdotal accounts in books like Tweaked: A Crystal Meth Memoir. The author there claims one of his first experience with meth was when it was cut into his coke.

 

[casual44]

Need to ask, if you tested your coke and it turned orange - why take it? Did you bleach test it also to see if there was any actual coke incase you were just racking lines of speed?

I did the first line before testing. I did two more lines after testing because I couldn't resist, even knowing it was adulterated. I was coming down and wanted to get back up... I won't say that I made any good decisions during this experience!

I could tell there was coke in there because of the subjective effects, so I didn't see a need to test for that; I just wanted to confirm the presence of speed.

 

[Depressicaa]

Wow that makes me not wanna try meth. Asides from my friends saying they won't talk to me if I ever take it, my prescription of amphetamines I take everyday. Oh I used to say I am not addicted, I can quit, but I won't and don't want to. Life doesn't work without it for me.

It might be access that causes these problems for me. For you, I don't really know how to describe how to solve your problem. Psychedelics I have always treated as a cure-all, but it did not stop my addiction, and if anything it made it worst, since I liked taking them right after tripping.

I hope you can abstain, but the easiest way for me was to have no access. Thats what you did with your boyfriend, which is a good thing.

 

[2spun4one]

do yourself the biggest favor in the world and stay as far away from meth as you can
if you don't you will regret it for the rest of your life, and the rest of your life will be so fucked up and different that you will feel like you have ben dragged by your hair all of the way to the depths of hell and then left there for dead. Whatever you think this drug can do for you, it ends up taking EVERYTHING in your life away from you. Hope to God you run like hell from the shit or life as you know it is over...

 

[unsettled]

Glad to see your thinking clearer on the subject. I know that if I take 30mgs of Dexedrine one night and none the next day I can feel a significant amount of dopamine depletion and depression, I can't imagine coming down from a week long meth binge.

Stay away from Meth! Of all my friends who got into it only one came out with her brain fully intact. In her case I think Heroin saved her life, since she stopped using Meth because she liked opiates better.

For the sake of Harm Reduction I just wanted to point out that the above poster is right on: if you do end up using amphetamines, stay hydrated, force yourself to eat and sleep regularly. Still best to just stay away from them.

 

[misteee]

seen close family's and friends spiral down so fast with meth. all of em start off eating it, then smokin it and then injecting it.. like most people all these great people i have known thats ruined there lifes on this drug, swore they would never i.v but when the drug becomes thier life they dont care anymore.

i became stupid nd wanted to see what these dear people devoted their lives too so i tried it... have had it 3 times in base form nd manytimes in street ecstasy. the comedown kills me, i get paranoid, depressed nd feel so dirty. so dirty no matter how hard i wash its there..

i hate meth it claimed my cousins life(suicide) nearly destroyed my parents marrige nd fucked up friends of mine mentally.
i tried it. nd yeh the high was good, great... but seeing the potential damage, u truely judge ur lifes value..

my bad experience. sorry to ramble on. just please think of the people around u.. cause its them that hurt the most...

ohhh nd well done for lab testing your pill. thumbs up from me

 

[swilow]

Best advice: don't use it. You will make your life really, really bad if you keep doing so.

Personally, I can use meth every now and then and not fiend for it too much. However- I now ONLY eat it, and never redose. Injecting meth is defintely the worst way of using the drug; unfortunately, its also the most 'pleasurable'. And therefore, I will never inject meth again. I would strongly recommend that no-one does that, ever. Not even once. My vice lies in the opiate realm sadly...

FWIW, I've seen acquaintances with....an income reliant on certain things, and have watched them mix methamphetamine and cocaine. Ratio of around 2:4, with coke being the
2. Fuck that shit.

OP, good to see you're feeling better. Consider this a close shave, and learn from it

 

[SilverFeniks]

from my limited adderoll usage in University (and terrible MDMA crashes), i know how much I love the manic highs of amphetamines, and equally hate the sensation of one's brain neuropathways burning like fire.

Amazingly despite living in Methlehem I've never run into it here, I just hang with stoner circles, and consider tweakers my #1 enemy. never owned a gun until I moved to this state...
Through my line of work / my neighhorhood, I've encountered countless thousands of tweaker zombie hordes. All ages, races, and backgrounds, hopelessly hooked on something that isn't even physically addictive.
My friend's dad is in prison for dealing down the street (next to the school), he was just on his first week on felony probation.
Oregon used to home-brew it all, then the state banned pseudoephedrine; now we just outsource it to the Mexican pipeline, comes straight up I-5 from Cali and floods every single city in Western Oregon; we're 2 decades strong in meth, and it shows.

I often wonder how bad the next generation will be here. And what is going to happen to all the braindead former meth abusers when there's exponentially too many to be handled by society / the state.

I haven't had self-control over any drugs since discovering OxyC back in the day. its a minor miracle i've managed to stay off meth / amphs in general. luckily i'm a manic wreck and get rocked off Zero-Carb rockstars, so amphs are kinda overkill.

 

[morpher001]

I've accidentally taken meth twice, once it was a meth bomb pill sold as ecstasy. The second time it was laced in with some cocaine.

Both times were amazing, but that's not what I want to write about. What I want to say is how astounded I am at HOW LITTLE CONTROL over my own actions I have when on a meth comedown...

In a moment of clarity two days after using meth-laced coke all weekend, I gave the rest of the laced coke to my boyfriend to hide, and now I am full of conspiracy theories about how he's going to steal it from me... God this stuff is insane... It is the only drug that has ever fucked with my intellectual part of my brain. With every other drug, I've always been able to have that part separate to monitor my experience and control my usage. This time, it's invading me and making me think that I have to keep taking it... It's not like alcohol where I just think, "It'll be easier to talk to people if I have a drink at the bar". It's like it's implanted this thought in my mind at the deepest possible level: "My life will be better if i take meth and ANYTHING is worth taking crystal again, even breaking up with my boyfriend (if he won't let me take it) or losing everything I have." This thought seems to be permanent and does not get weaker over time. Even when I gave him the stuff to hide, I made him swear that he wouldn't take it and that he wouldn't destroy it and that we would use it at some point in the future...

That last point is the most important. Even though I've accidentally used this drug (I consciously tried to stay away from it because I knew its effects), now that I've used it twice, I KNOW for a fact that I will do it again. I crave it with such an urgency that even after being away from it for 4 months, I still think longingly of how I felt when I was high, and I make plans and work on finding suppliers for when I'll use it again.

The only thing that has lessened my longing for another try at meth was one glorious day where I took 6 very strong MDMA pills (which I tested and did not contain any meth). For about a week afterwards, I completely lost the urge to try meth again, but after a week, the longing returned.

I've made it through two awful meth comedowns. Any advice for a new user how to avoid this drug from destroying my life? I know I can't stop myself from using it again...

Wow you've really done an excellent job of convincing yourself that your addicted to meth. You had two doses, 4 months ago. Someone correct me if Im wrong, but even if at some point you were physically addicted you've long since finished any withdrawals.

So you had some drugs and you liked it and you've convinced yourself that you cant stop yourself having more. Meth is indeed an evil, very addictive drug however your first and foremost concern should be the supercharged, hyperaddictive personality you seem to have.

'I know i cant stop myself using it again...' isnt good enough for you. Your not addicted now so why risk it. You've done the right thing so far and stuck by your guns not had it in four months, so stop telling yourself your going to use again. And don't.

 

[Coolio]

I've accidentally taken meth twice, once it was a meth bomb pill sold as ecstasy. The second time it was laced in with some cocaine.

Both times were amazing, but that's not what I want to write about. What I want to say is how astounded I am at HOW LITTLE CONTROL over my own actions I have when on a meth comedown...

In a moment of clarity two days after using meth-laced coke all weekend,

There's no such thing as meth-laced coke. What the fuck are you talking about? Methamphetamine is a more expensive drug than cocaine, so it makes no economic or logistical sense to cut cocaine with it.

 

[theartofwar]

There's no such thing as meth-laced coke. What the fuck are you talking about? Methamphetamine is a more expensive drug than cocaine, so it makes no economic or logistical sense to cut cocaine with it.

meth = soda bottle and few odds and ends

coke = importing

seriously meth is the cheapest shit in the world to produce. And one of the ugliest fucking things I've ever seen inflicted upon this world.