Cancer Patient - Not feeling the effects of oxycodone I used to. No More Euphoria

[macmedia]

I have been battling Stage IV Cancer for 9 years.

I was placed on 4 30mg Oxycodone IR a day, along with 3 15mg Morphine ER a day after I was released from the hospital.

I had stage iv base of tongue cancer and since with all the mind tricks that come along with carer and being Stage IV, I need to calm down. I was given 3 1mg or Alprazolam to take per day back in December 21st 2009. The day I was diagnosed.

Later on after I wasn't sent home to after going through a Tracheostomy, Feeding Tube & Chemo Port Surgery, I was put on the high doses one the Oxycodone and Morphine.

It's now 8 years later.
I have never taken any drug, nor drank one drop of alcohol. I did smoke pot back in the early 80's for about 6 months on and off.

I learned early on while on the Xanax that 1mg pill about wiped me out. Going into my second year, I stared to play around with it. I was taking 3-4mg at one and I have never felt at peace as I lay in bed like I was surrounded by heat blankets and just felt so at peace and warm.

I soon went up more and and it was such an awesome time. about a years of that it soon stopped giving that feeling. I was to afraid to go higher so I just got what I could out of it.

At the time since I got home from all the surgeries, I did not use the Oxycodone. I was afraid of it. I used the morphine but soo it was not not enough to help with the pain of the radiation in my neck. I started playing with those as well and I also found out that combining the right dosages of Xanax and Oxycodone was the best I have ever thought someone could feel.

Now, about 3 years ago I had to get taken off the Xanax slowly. I was also told I need to get off the high dosages of the oxy and morph. They started lowering my oxytocin's and morph slowly each month until what I am on now which is 4 10mg of Oxycodone and 2 15mg of Morphine. I recently got off of Xanax after a crazy fight with back in 3/21/18. Is is told that it's easier to get off heroine than Xanax. So, after I stopped using Xanax, my oxy high at around June, July time, I was getting pretty much everyday I took my dosage of 60mg a day, I would feel what I liked to feel which is shaking, feeling calmer, feeling relaxed. Thats how the oxy made me feel that I liked so much. Sometimes last yer I had to go up to 80mb or 120mg to get that same feeling. Sometime I went up to 140 or even 200mg to get that feeling. Then all of a sudden, it started to get hard to reach that feeling. At first I though I was mixing food before I took the pills, or I remember that I stopped taking some blood pressure pill I had been taking everyday for years, I stopped taking them. The I noticed no matter how much oxy I took, I can never feel that way again. As of today, for the past few months, I run out of pills in about 5-7 days playing with different things like food or the time of day. And I can not feel that good anymore.

I have been off Xanax since last March 2018, and I just got some prescribed to me and I tried them with the oxy like before. nothings happened.

Can anyone tell me what I am doing wrong?

I seem to think I need to give my body a rest of the opiates. Like not take any Morph or Oxy and wait like a week and see if that bring back the feeling.

I think I am just over saturated with opiates. I am not sure though.

My life sucks. Cancer has caused me to loose my marriage and my 5 kids. The only thing in my life that makes me keep on moving forward is the feeling and my kids.

Any help would be appreciated.

 

[Jaredborgetti]

First of all congratulations on hanging on for 9 years, I wish you several more years of happiness and health.
What happens is that you develop a tolerance to these drugs, both physical and psychological, especially taking them daily, in the sense that your body needs higher and higher dosages to reach the same effects, and also that psychologically you get used to the feeling and need higher dosages for novelty.
I suggest not abusing these medications, I understand this is really hard! These are some of the most addictive drugs on the planet, let alone when they take your pain away, and make you feel at peace.
The problem is that you need these to be effective at appropiate dosages, to treat your pain and anxiety.
I would recommend taking these medications as prescribed, but you mention, "wanting to take a break from opiates to see if the feeling will come back" if this is what you want to do, a week will not do enough if you have beek taking them daily for years, you would need a couple of months free of any opiates to lower your tolerance as far as it will ever return, keep in mind it will not return to baseline ever again, and your psychological tolerance will always be very high due to being so accostumed to the effects of the opiates.
With Xanax, congratulations on getting off, its extremely hard to do this and dangerous too, with xanax you are looking for at least a year preferrably more for tolerance to lower, it lasts far more than opiates in the body and the tolerance is very persistant, again, in this case its even more unlikely that you will ever reach baseline again, what I mean by this is, the first time someone takes Xanax, 1mg can really knock them out, with time they will need 4mgs for that same feeling, and some people get to crazy dosages like 24mgs, this person if he manages to get clean of Xanax for a couple of years, he might only need 2.5mgs now to get knocked out instead of the 24mgs he was taking, but he will never return to being able to take 1mg and getting knocked out like when he first started out.
I wish you a lot of happiness and health and many more years without complications, my best regards.

 

[Keif' Richards]

OP, I absolutely do not want to minimize the fact that you're a cancer patient/survivor, but for the purposes of answering your question, it's not really going to come into play. I say this because although you've gone through an absolutely terrible experience, you are not different than any other individual who enjoys the effects of drugs like Benzodiazepines and/or Opioids. Sadly, the qualities that make these substances so effective are intrinsically linked to their ability to utterly devastate through psychological addiction and physical dependence.

There are always exceptions, don't get me wrong, but essentially, Opioids will mitigate all pain, physical and mental. If you are in a state of serious anxiety or stress, Benzodiazepines can be subjectively just as enjoyable. I hate saying this, but you've just followed a pretty standard path into Opioid addiction. I understand that you were prescribed them for a legitimate condition, but you weren't prescribed the excessive dosages that you've been experimenting with. Opioids, when prescribed and used properly can sustain folks for a long period of time. When dosages are exceeded, your tolerance increases significantly. Tolerance includes tolerance to the psychological effects i.e. euphoria.

As I said, you've followed a pretty well-worn path into addiction here. I'm not being judging or condescending either. I want to give it to you straight. It's very common for Opioid addicts to express a subjective loss of euphoria as they become dependent and most seriously dependent individuals are more concerned with avoiding the sickness than euphoria. Their euphoria comes often from alleviating the symptoms of withdrawal

You are correct that a holiday from Opioids will probably be required if you desire to have your tolerance set back a bit, but tolerance to the psychological effects of drugs is often semi-permanent. If you plan to take a holiday, as it seems you do, you will most likely require medications to keep you fairly normal and functional. We can help you design a reasonable plan for helping you decrease your usage without causing you unnecessary pain. If you have a good relationship with your prescribing doctor, I believe he or she will be on board with this idea to an extent.

Is this something you might be interested in?