THE_REAL_OBLIVION
Bluelight Crew
If it lasts longer than a few days. I rely on RC benzos so I can stock up my rx's (3 of them, but 2 of them are pretty underdosed for me). I even get anxiety and fear of getting a sinus infection again (look up benzo withdrawal, it's a complicated subject I discussed before in what is now ADD (Neurochemistry and such..I'm too lazy to look up the new name, but yeah benzo withdrawal, if you look up at the side effects, includes getting upper respiratory tract infections, and I got a chronic sinusitis issue going on since a couple years, whenever someone around me has a cold and I catch it, it's always much worse for me). I got a package coming from Spain and it's around the time where it should arrive (this week). I feel scared about this as I see my 0.5mg flunitrazolam pills (I only take half at once..it's not very good by itself, but combined with a much less specific to the subreceptors like bromazepam and diazepam (2 of my scripts).
I've been lowering my tolerance so that when I pickup my 60 10mg valiums, I don't go through them in a week, which started after getting 100mg of f-lam powder.
I'm diagnosed with GAD with some agoraphobia, strangely when I was in a band, any agoraphobia would disappear as I was on stage back in my old ban. I'm also scripted 50mg Atarax as a sleep-aid so I don't take extra benzos. Anyway, I now managed to still have 12 valium after 14 days, so I succeeded in reducing my tolerance, a bit, thankfully because I have a 15 day at once only bromazepam 6mg script, I can survive with just that, I know it's not available south in the crazy country that's there heh, but to give americans an idea, it's anxiolytic as Xanax, but it lasts 4-6 hours easily. I don't have panic attacks much anymore so I don't need a short lasting benzo with no active metabolites. I'm also diagnosed as Bipolar I, my cycles are pretty long, but I can't take any SSRI/SNRI, they all put me into a manic or mixed state.
I also suffer from some health issues, which benzos, especially the ones that are very strong muscle relaxant=wise (gah I wish we had Tetrazepam in North America, because all other options are pretty bad, flexeril is the most common one around here, it's particularly nice with opiates but by itself, it sucks. Soma has been removed for almost 2 decades here, we even had meprobamate available for even longer, but that's also gone. The 2 other options are Orphenadrine (this stuff makes me feel so weird, I hate it, we can buy it on the shelves here, or much cheaper when going OTC, and Zanaflex, which isn't covered by my insurance and I don't think many insurances cover it and I've heard it was pretty crappy and would not alleviate my neck and jaw pain. Robaxin does not even count, so don't recommend it.
I just can't stop thinking about how the mail might stop for however long monday. CanadaPost are being disingenuous with the unions. It's all I can think about. Nothing seems to have happened so far. My only option is using a Canadian e-commerce for some Etizolam powder, it's the only thing close to real benzos that are freely available, at least from what I know, in all the Canadian rc vendors I know of. Of course I will have to pick a private courier which costs a lot more than CP's Xpresspost. I mean, I would use Purolator if it was for something at the other end of the country, I'm pretty much all the way east, and even with free regular mail, it would take only 2 days to get to me, so the idea of paying for a private courier company really makes my blood boil. I also work from home and I have to ship a lot of stuff, mostly documents, but they can be 300 pages long, I also buy a lot on ebay and other cyber-commerces, I'm one of the persons that make CP a profitable government corporation. The point of a government company is not to make profits, it's for principle. Good for them to make profits, but they better accept at least 1 of the 3 demands of the Unions. Won't bore you with the details.
I'm getting in a negative thought loop and developed a migraine friday, that persists, and I don't have anymore eletriptan (Relpax) that my neurologist gave me a year ago. That did the trick, although Cafergot when they scripted that to me as a child was much more effective (ergotamine tartrate with caffeine). They phased out almost all migraine ergoloids, those bastards, in theory I could get methysergide still, but I'd have to have a compound pharmacy make it for me but whatever, I don't get them as often as I used to, not sure it is even migraine because the best and my current neurologist is the one who discovered that what I had going on was much more rare than ocular migraines, TN type II, its like a low intensity cluster headache that is always there, on top of a TMJ disorder on the jaw on the same side of my face where I get that TN type II B.S.
All those physical medical issues really don't help, if I was rid of about half og them, I could necessitate much, much less benzos, which are prescribed as muscle relaxants for short periods of time, and sometimes not so short. All I want to do is sleep until tomorrow and see what happens, this whole incertitude about CP is causing mail workers to get about 80% less letters and parcels. The world and its politics are driving me mad too, but I always thought that I was so extremely lucky to be born in Canada. But it looks like destabilization is coming here too. First the community boxes bullshit and now this, I wish all these people who voted Liberal, or more of them anyway voted NDP, my MP is NDP, and this impasse would not exist if they finally had power for the first time, which would have happened if Harper had not started elections that late.
Sorry, loads of rambling but its my therapy![:\](https://bluelight.org/xf/BL_Images/Orig_Emoji/wrygrin.gif "wry grin :\")
I've been lowering my tolerance so that when I pickup my 60 10mg valiums, I don't go through them in a week, which started after getting 100mg of f-lam powder.
I'm diagnosed with GAD with some agoraphobia, strangely when I was in a band, any agoraphobia would disappear as I was on stage back in my old ban. I'm also scripted 50mg Atarax as a sleep-aid so I don't take extra benzos. Anyway, I now managed to still have 12 valium after 14 days, so I succeeded in reducing my tolerance, a bit, thankfully because I have a 15 day at once only bromazepam 6mg script, I can survive with just that, I know it's not available south in the crazy country that's there heh, but to give americans an idea, it's anxiolytic as Xanax, but it lasts 4-6 hours easily. I don't have panic attacks much anymore so I don't need a short lasting benzo with no active metabolites. I'm also diagnosed as Bipolar I, my cycles are pretty long, but I can't take any SSRI/SNRI, they all put me into a manic or mixed state.
I also suffer from some health issues, which benzos, especially the ones that are very strong muscle relaxant=wise (gah I wish we had Tetrazepam in North America, because all other options are pretty bad, flexeril is the most common one around here, it's particularly nice with opiates but by itself, it sucks. Soma has been removed for almost 2 decades here, we even had meprobamate available for even longer, but that's also gone. The 2 other options are Orphenadrine (this stuff makes me feel so weird, I hate it, we can buy it on the shelves here, or much cheaper when going OTC, and Zanaflex, which isn't covered by my insurance and I don't think many insurances cover it and I've heard it was pretty crappy and would not alleviate my neck and jaw pain. Robaxin does not even count, so don't recommend it.
I just can't stop thinking about how the mail might stop for however long monday. CanadaPost are being disingenuous with the unions. It's all I can think about. Nothing seems to have happened so far. My only option is using a Canadian e-commerce for some Etizolam powder, it's the only thing close to real benzos that are freely available, at least from what I know, in all the Canadian rc vendors I know of. Of course I will have to pick a private courier which costs a lot more than CP's Xpresspost. I mean, I would use Purolator if it was for something at the other end of the country, I'm pretty much all the way east, and even with free regular mail, it would take only 2 days to get to me, so the idea of paying for a private courier company really makes my blood boil. I also work from home and I have to ship a lot of stuff, mostly documents, but they can be 300 pages long, I also buy a lot on ebay and other cyber-commerces, I'm one of the persons that make CP a profitable government corporation. The point of a government company is not to make profits, it's for principle. Good for them to make profits, but they better accept at least 1 of the 3 demands of the Unions. Won't bore you with the details.
I'm getting in a negative thought loop and developed a migraine friday, that persists, and I don't have anymore eletriptan (Relpax) that my neurologist gave me a year ago. That did the trick, although Cafergot when they scripted that to me as a child was much more effective (ergotamine tartrate with caffeine). They phased out almost all migraine ergoloids, those bastards, in theory I could get methysergide still, but I'd have to have a compound pharmacy make it for me but whatever, I don't get them as often as I used to, not sure it is even migraine because the best and my current neurologist is the one who discovered that what I had going on was much more rare than ocular migraines, TN type II, its like a low intensity cluster headache that is always there, on top of a TMJ disorder on the jaw on the same side of my face where I get that TN type II B.S.
All those physical medical issues really don't help, if I was rid of about half og them, I could necessitate much, much less benzos, which are prescribed as muscle relaxants for short periods of time, and sometimes not so short. All I want to do is sleep until tomorrow and see what happens, this whole incertitude about CP is causing mail workers to get about 80% less letters and parcels. The world and its politics are driving me mad too, but I always thought that I was so extremely lucky to be born in Canada. But it looks like destabilization is coming here too. First the community boxes bullshit and now this, I wish all these people who voted Liberal, or more of them anyway voted NDP, my MP is NDP, and this impasse would not exist if they finally had power for the first time, which would have happened if Harper had not started elections that late.
Sorry, loads of rambling but its my therapy
