BPD self-sabotage or true love?

[Sprout]

Eugh, Ijust need to talk about this - my apologies for probably wasting your time. I have a diagnosis of BPD, which has helped me to sabotage my own life several times, I frequently have the urges to just leave my life (which is the best it's ever been), I always have done and always have to tell myself it's my disorder, not me. But recently I want to abandon my life and go back to my ex, whom whether she intended it or not; exascerbated my mental health state incredibly. Yet I still love her, so fucking much, so much it truly breaks me inside. Should I take the path of true love, or would this be just sabotaging myself. Though writing this I've just thought; not doing anything could inevitably hurt as well. I'm so split here, someone help?

 

[Lysis]

It all depends on the ex. I've experienced a lot of BS from people who have mental issues, and I'm just so over it. For my own sanity, I can't deal with it and have no tolerance for it. It depends on where your ex is at and if she has found someone else that she is happy with.