Boyfriend on probation for sexual charges turning 18 soon. What to do?

VincentOnEsBitch

VincentOnEsBitch

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Joined
Dec 29, 2009
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41
Location
California
To make a long story short, my boyfriend VincentOnE has been going through lots of bullshit lately, including jail time, rape classes, drug testing, and curfews for something he has proof of not even doing. He's soon to be eighteen, and I'm sixteen. He spoke to a counselor and they told him that us being seen together or even heard about would be risky, whether or not we're having sex.
What is a way that we could get around this dilemma without having to take a break until i'm of age? Vincent mentioned emancipation, but I don't think my parents would go for that idea. My mom suggested we try to set up a legal contract permitting me to be in a relationship with Vincent. Are these valid solutions? Any alternatives? Please provide sources if possible. We'll be speaking to a counselor soon about legal advice, but we want all the help we can get.

Thanks, guys.
 
Unless Vincent has some sort of legal restrictions set on him, I can't imagine the system would know or care who he hangs out, or spends his free time with.

If you're really paranoid, just keep the display of affection indoors and out of the public eye. Although I truly can't imagine anyone caring.

I think maybe your counsellor is being a little silly.
 
Are you both students together at school? Supposedly some states have up to a two year allowance between ages if both people are students at a school together. This is hearsay though, I do not know for certain.
 
Well, there's a little more information in this fail post : http://www.bluelight.ru/vb/showthread.php?p=7904236#post7904236

It wasn't only my counseler, yesterday I talked to my Probation Officer who said that she's seen shit go down the same way, and that she's had to report some of her kids that have turned 18, who are still with minors.

I'm still in this sexual offender group, I have to take monthly polygraphs, and if it's a concern, they'll ask about me sleeping with minors.

My sex offender guy, said that was 1 year in prison, and no chance of getting my juvenile record expunged.
 
It sort of annoys me that you reached out to SLR, and your thread was closed. It wasn't your fault people reacted negatively. A much more appropriate way to handle that would be to remove the off-topic and judgmental comments, much like they do here in the legal forum.

Anyways, my beef with your closed thread aside, I think that the best course of action is to be honest with your probation officer. If the relationship is consensual and you are under no legal restrictions, then you're not breaking the law. You're certainly not doing anything wrong. I would think a bit of self-righteous candor would go a long way here.

Yes, you got charged for a crime, no that doesn't give the legal system free reign to violate your human rights in vaguely related matters. It looks like you might have to stand up for yourself here as a matter of principal. Bring your girlfriend with you and get a notorized statement of sexual consent if that's what it takes, and if that even exists. If I were your parents, I'd be on the phone with your counsellor and probation officer and clearing this issue up.
 
You're not free and clear of charges because you have a probation officer. Your freedom is conditional, and if you violate those conditions the state will come down on you hard. It's that simple.

That means that you're going to have to obey ALL laws, whether you like them or not. That's the deal you agreed to, presumably with the advice of an attorney. If you violate the deal, then you're demonstrating an inability to keep even to the terms of your own agreements, much less other laws. It means that any court will not only see a pattern of disregarding the law, but the court will also decide that nothing you say, including promises you might make about the future, is credible.

My advice is to take the conditions of this deal very seriously. You've got a conviction for a violent offense and an arrest for a violent sexual offense. The question here is really whether you want to live a pretty happy and fulfilling life, or whether you want to add one problem after another.

If staying with your girlfriend would violate your probation, then you need to take some time apart. If the bond is strong enough, then you'll be together in two years, and you'll have confidence in that bond. If not, then you found out the easy way, and you can both find people with whom you will be happier.

I know that's not an answer anyone would want to hear, but it's the truth. You make the right calls now, and your life gets better as you move forward. Make the wrong calls, and your life will get worse. The right calls aren't always easy. Good luck.
 
Cyc said:
It sort of annoys me that you reached out to SLR, and your thread was closed. It wasn't your fault people reacted negatively. A much more appropriate way to handle that would be to remove the off-topic and judgmental comments, much like they do here in the legal forum.

Anyways, my beef with your closed thread aside, I think that the best course of action is to be honest with your probation officer. If the relationship is consensual and you are under no legal restrictions, then you're not breaking the law. You're certainly not doing anything wrong. I would think a bit of self-righteous candor would go a long way here.

Yes, you got charged for a crime, no that doesn't give the legal system free reign to violate your human rights in vaguely related matters. It looks like you might have to stand up for yourself here as a matter of principal. Bring your girlfriend with you and get a notorized statement of sexual consent if that's what it takes, and if that even exists. If I were your parents, I'd be on the phone with your counsellor and probation officer and clearing this issue up.
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That's what my girlfriends mother suggested,

It is still, hoewever, a crime when I turn 18,

"statutory rape" would be the crime committed, as said by my counselor.


And yeah, that post in the other section was full of too much heat anyways, I don't see why people can't be more understanding.
nevertheless, I wasn't getting any advice from that post.
 
Heuristic said:
If staying with your girlfriend would violate your probation, then you need to take some time apart. If the bond is strong enough, then you'll be together in two years, and you'll have confidence in that bond. If not, then you found out the easy way, and you can both find people with whom you will be happier.
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I've said the same thing to Vincent, but I guess we haven't gotten far enough into our relationship for him to really believe I'd wait for him. Sure, I don't know what will happen in that year and a half span, but I want him to know I'd try as hard as he would to hold off, maybe harder.
 
First question to ask, is what are the Jack and Jill laws in California?

Second, what are the restrictions of your probation?

Without answering those two questions, nobody will be able to help you - only speculate.
 
Cyc said:
First question to ask, is what are the Jack and Jill laws in California?
Click to expand...

The age of consent in California is 18. If there are fewer than 3 years' difference between the age of the minor and the age of the legal adult, if charges were to be brought for statutory rape, they would be misdemeanor charges.

There is no "close in age rule" that can be offered as a legal defense under California law.

Info and link to relevant code section here.

Polygraph results are not admissible in court. However, if polygraph testing is a condition of Vincent's probation and a failure of the polygraph (or a failure to submit to one) constitutes a violation of his probation, it is theoretically possible that he could be arrested on VOP charges.

Vincent, I saw your closed thread. I'll remind you that you are on probation for a felony, whether or not you believe you committed a crime is irrelevant, and convicted felons are prohibited from owning firearms in California.

To Vincent's girlfriend (sorry, I'm not going to refer to a 16 year old as a convicted sex offender's "bitch" 8)): you are not old enough to legally enter into a contract, so don't waste the time or the paper. The contract would be unenforceable due to your age.

Good luck to you both, but if you want a future together, Vincent, you'll have to stay out of prison.
 
Mariposa said:
The age of consent in California is 18. If there are fewer than 3 years' difference between the age of the minor and the age of the legal adult, if charges were to be brought for statutory rape, they would be misdemeanor charges.

There is no "close in age rule" that can be offered as a legal defense under California law.

Info and link to relevant code section here.

Polygraph results are not admissible in court. However, if polygraph testing is a condition of Vincent's probation and a failure of the polygraph (or a failure to submit to one) constitutes a violation of his probation, it is theoretically possible that he could be arrested on VOP charges.

Vincent, I saw your closed thread. I'll remind you that you are on probation for a felony, whether or not you believe you committed a crime is irrelevant, and convicted felons are prohibited from owning firearms in California.

To Vincent's girlfriend (sorry, I'm not going to refer to a 16 year old as a convicted sex offender's "bitch" 8)): you are not old enough to legally enter into a contract, so don't waste the time or the paper. The contract would be unenforceable due to your age.

Good luck to you both, but if you want a future together, Vincent, you'll have to stay out of prison.
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Firearms are easy as MDMA is to get, as far as I'm concerned.

I am a felon, and I also get off of probation when I'm done with this sexual offenders group, most likely a month or two after I turn 18.

What about the possibility of my girlfriend getting Emancipated, and legally becoming 18?.
 
That would depend on California law, but I doubt the fact that a minor is emancipated functions as an exception to statutory rape laws.

re firearms or MDMA, having that conviction on record means that any new arrests are going to be pursued extremely aggressively. Think hard before making yourself vulnerable to those kinds of problems.
 
Heuristic said:
That would depend on California law, but I doubt the fact that a minor is emancipated functions as an exception to statutory rape laws.

re firearms or MDMA, having that conviction on record means that any new arrests are going to be pursued extremely aggressively. Think hard before making yourself vulnerable to those kinds of problems.
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Well, emancipation laws rid of all of the disabilities of non-age.

You can buy cigarettes, and a 16 yr old emancipated girl can work at a strip club.

Emancipation laws are pretty simple over here.

Parental permission, source of income, plans of residence, proof of independence, judge approval.

All she'd have to do is hold a job for a little and show the judge that she could live with a roommate in a set apartment or something of the sort.

And then we could legally be together.

But it's not something she's willing to try for, so I guess we're shit out of luck.


I'm already pretty vulnerable to a lot of problems, with my current residence full of 5 years worth of MDMA, non-prescription adderal and now, since today, a firearm, fuck it, I give up on being clean.

Appreciate all the information guys, at least I'm now more-informed that my relationship with my girlfriend is hopeless.

And that the system, over something I didn't do, has me on lock.

If any cops show up at my house, or at school, I'm going to fucking shoot myself, I'm not going to go to jail again, I didn't rape that bitch, and I'm not going to rot away in prison, I'd rather just end my fucking life now.
 
Uh, emancipation does none of those things dude. You can't buy cigarettes until you're 18, no matter what. If the age limit on stripping in CA is 18 like I think it is, you're also wrong that emancipated 16 year olds can strip. Emancipation doesn't do shit but remove parental control. There's no reduction of state control over the teenager.
 
VincentOnE said:
I'm already pretty vulnerable to a lot of problems, with my current residence full of 5 years worth of MDMA, non-prescription adderal and now, since today, a firearm, fuck it, I give up on being clean.
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You realize how pointlessly stupid that is, right? It's as though you're deliberately making your life worse.
 
^ I have to allow this post. A felon in possession of a firearm is committing a felony under California law and also a serious crime under federal law. You should get the firearm out of your possession immediately.
 
Johnny1 said:
^ I have to allow this post. A felon in possession of a firearm is committing a felony under California law and also a serious crime under federal law. You should get the firearm out of your possession immediately.
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This is absolutely correct - someone who is convicted of a felony in the State of California, in addition to being subject to any and all applicable federal laws, has no legal right to carry or own a firearm. If a convicted felon attempts to own a firearm, this is an extremely serious offense, and no one here is going to justify or condone it. It is a "right" that is lost immediately upon conviction of a felony.

Don't dig yourself a deeper hole, Vincent.
 
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