BL's Survival Guide to Corporate Wage-Slavery

[Jamshyd]

[EC Mods: Please bump this to SLR after it accumulates a good amount of posts; SLR please bump it back to EC once it grows another page, etc. Thanks!]

I thought I'd be very interested in hearing what people on BL have to say about survival in the (western) corporate world. It seems BL has a good sample of people from both sides of the equation - the professionals who thrive in the manegerial and/or tech aspects of that world, and are therefore in positions of some degree of authority, as well as the temps and the entry-level wage-slaves. Then there are the janitors, guards and similar blue-collars who watch it all happen and occasionally get caught up in it.

What's more, BL also has a wide range of background and is, as a singular community, actually a minority simply by virtue of being a drug HR board. Therefore we have a good cache of experiences by people who are marginalized in their day-to-day life, and those are the ones most vulnerable.

Some examples:

How did you survive a corporate job?

How do you deal with figures of authority? How do you deal with fellow employees?

What do you suggest people not do? What are mistakes you made?

How did you go about mending problems?

Do you mix work with social life? If so, how do you deal with the overlap? How do you deal with workplace rumor?

etc.

Just a few questions to get things started, but please feel free to add anything that you feel is relevant to the politics of the corporate world. Success tips are welcome, but the focus here is on survival - keeping one's job while appeasing all those who seem hell-bent on seeing you fail (in other words, a sort of HR ) I'll try to write up something and post here later today .

 

[badandwicked]

I survived a corporate job by being stoned 90% of the time. The one bit of advice I would say is get to know the system inside out. Educate yourself on your rights, the law, and the companies HR policies. As long as you're in the right don't be afraid to be a pain in the ass. Don't be pressured to give your time or effort for free in the interests of 'goodwill', the company won't be so charitable when you need something. Remember your manager may act like it, but is not actually your friend. When they have to chose between you and the company, they will chose the company.

 

[L2R]

interesting that jammy would mention it by the name "politics" because that is exactly what it is. there's an unwritten set of rules in each workplace which need to be learnt before you start stepping on toes. know what power you have. know what power others have. it's business, don't take shit personally. know your policies, rights and responsibilities, but don't forget that in all likelyhood you will continue to have to work WITH those you deal with through such processes.

in case of bully click here

Spoiler: dealing with office bullies

the magic word is: diarise

write down all instances (dates, times and exact quotes and meanings of inappropriate behaviours). unless the person has done something severe like a physical assault, DON'T SAY ANYTHING. Not until you have a number of such instances down on record, enough to establish an ongoing pattern of behaviour to create a need for it to be dealt with by HR.

Don't show them your cards and tip them off early.

also, keep a personal folder on your work computer or at home collating all evidence of good work on your part. include compliments and records of completed tasks which are special or "above and beyond" the course of duty. these will come in handy at your performance appraisals, and in case you are alleged to be underperforming or not doing the job properly.

keep a copy of your latest industrial instrument (contract or collective agreement) so you are aware of your entitlements.

if you are unwell for one day (or more) and you either can't see a doctor or don't need medical attention, a notorised declaration (in australia they're called stat decs, stautory declarations) would suffice in lieu of a doctor's cert.


i could really go on and on. this is the kind of advice i give out as my job.


btw: join your union BEFORE you need specific assistance. it goes a long way.

 

[rant*N*rave]

I've been to every end of the spectrum at this point, and frankly, the rules are really the same no matter where you stand. For perspective, this is what I've done (roughly in this order, with some overlaps):

- Corn detassling (glorified farm labor for 5.15 an hour at age 13, weeeee!)
- Babysitting/nannying
- House cleaning
- Food service (Cold Stone Creamery and Qdoba)
- Factory work
- Bookkeeper/assistant to the business manager of a landscape architecture company
- Convenience store clerk
- Stripping (this is the only job where almost none of the normal rules apply)
- Bartending
- Applications Analyst/Interdepartmental Liaison for a small software company
- Division Operations for a big software company

How did you survive a corporate job?

By not giving a shit! Now, make sure we take this in context, lol... What I mean is to simply ignore the drama and nonsense. The politics of the corporate workplace is just like the high school clique system. There are some rules that make sense, a lot of rules that don't, and if you play nice, you'll usually come out ahead. And by playing nice, I don't mean being a "nice guy", I mean being a nice person while always watching out for yourself. Remember that you are being graded on YOU and YOUR work and YOUR behavior, not that of your coworkers or anyone else, so watch out for the bottom line (that is, it's YOUR ass on the line!).

The other equally important rule is to be professional and reliable at all times. AT ALL TIMES. It doesn't matter how angry, hungover, exhausted, stressed, or whatever else you are, ALWAYS be professional. Show up on time, don't no-call-no-show, and don't bend the rules, no matter how much you want to. Get your work done on time, get it done well, and establish yourself as reliable, and you'll at minimum be able to coast by with no problems (and you'll probably be way better off than coasting). Think about all the dumbasses you've ever worked with - they're everywhere, so it's easy to look good next to them if you're even you're doing the bare minimum at your job.

Another big thing that I notice that people have trouble with is speaking up when there are problems. You don't want to become that bug in your boss' ear, but if you're having a problem, don't wait til it blows up in your face! Whether it's a coworker problem, a personal problem, a difficult challenge in your workload, make it be known from day one! If your boss knows there's an issue going on, they also know that you're being proactive to solve it by asking them about it. Don't be afraid of looking "dumb". The thing that looks the dumbest is when shit goes haywire and all of a sudden other people are responsible for your fuckup. Deal with it before it gets there, and you're golden.

How do you deal with figures of authority?

With respect. PERIOD. It doesn't matter how big of a dick they are. Suck up if you have to, but at the very bare minimum, treat them as you wish they would treat you, even if they don't keep up their end of the bargain. There's no faster way to get fired than to seem like an ass to your boss.

How do you deal with fellow employees?

With respect. PERIOD. It doesn't matter how big of a dick they are. Don't suck up to these guys because there's no reason, but always be civil and polite. There's only one faster way to get fired than to be the guy that everyone hates (and that's to piss off your boss, as mentioned above). When it comes time for employee review at the exec level, even if you're awesome at what you do, if you're a detriment to the workplace, they'll fire you first, and at minimum it's a surefire way to not get a promotion. If you don't play well with others, no one's gonna put you in charge of anything.

What do you suggest people not do?

I suggest not being a dick. Seriously, don't be a dick. Don't talk smack about your coworkers, no matter how badly you want to, unless you are CERTAIN that it won't bite you. I've only done it in ONE circumstance EVER, and it was when one person was making life hell for an entire department and we were all hanging out at a bar. None of this was EVER discussed within the walls of the workplace. And that's rule number 2: if you ever feel you have to say something "inappropriate" whether that be bullshit about a coworker, personal info that wouldn't be right for the workplace (drugs, sex, rock and roll, that stuff), or anything else, NEVER EVER say it inside of the building you work in.

Also, especially don't be a dick about being someone's boss or having sway over their work life. Think about how much it sucks when your boss is a dick to you - make sure not to do it to anyone else. In my current job, I'm going to have to rate and rank friends of mine. It's going to suck. But I won't be speaking about it with them AT ALL, and the friendship will in no way play into any decision making. Only a few of them even know that it's part of my job.

Also, don't EVER blow ANYTHING off. Take ALL of your work seriously, even the stupid little things. That kind of dedication shows like a pile of gold in a manure field. For real.

Do you mix work with social life? If so, how do you deal with the overlap? How do you deal with workplace rumor?

I have done this successfully many times over (and I'm currently boinking a coworker). The way to do it is to do exactly what I said above. And of course, use your judgment and use discretion! (The guy I'm sleeping with hasn't told a soul, and I wouldn't be sleeping with him if he did.) If you find there is a rumor going on, stay out of it. If there's a rumor about you, stay out of it. Deny any lies if anyone asks, but don't talk about it, don't complain about it, don't feed into it. Work rumors are like interweb trolls - you should never feed them, or they just get bigger and bigger. If you feel like a rumor about you might get to your boss/affect your job, see what I stated above about bringing up problems with your boss.



If I had to sum it all up in two words to apply to everything having to do with every aspect of the corporate workplace: BE PROACTIVE. It will get you everywhere.

 

[Cyc]

I've run the gamut from a 3-man operation to a workplace with a couple hundred people. I've had jobs where I'm just a drone on a phone, and jobs where I'm almost 100% independent.

The best advice I can give for bigger workplaces, is to make sure people like you. Talk to them, be nice to them, joke around with them, and be affable and open -- and in most workplaces, you will be safe.

In small workplaces, an unfortunate by-product is that your work is constantly being monitored, so you may not have time to make friends. It really depends on the corporate climate.

Public jobs are honestly the best, because you can work at your own pace, and as long as you're well liked, your productivity will usually take a back seat.