So I've thought about it more and more and I think I might be bisexual but I'm not directly attracted to men but the thought of having sex with both a woman and man really turns me on. I think everyone should explore their bodies more and more and try lots of things. My wife and I have talked about it, mostly while rolling, and she seems mixed on it. I know its hard for her to understand these things, but I wonder how I can explore this more without actually cheating.
-
-
SLR Moderators: Senior Staff
Bisexual
- Thread starter tomdpimp
- Start date
PhillipMcRevis
Bluelighter
Don't cheat on your wife cause your bisexual you can explore your body just use sex toys if you want to know sex with a man then stick a dildo up your ass if not well you got a wife there I nothing wrong if your bi I have nothing against gays lesbians it's they want like you go explore go have fun no one is stopping you really
Mel22
Bluelight Crew
You can't make someone want something.
If you've mainly talked about it whilst rolling and she seems "mixed," then talk to her sober. You may find that she's really uncomfortable with it, or you may not.
You have to ensure that you keep her feelings in mind also, as you do not want to do something that may have negative consequences when it comes to your marriage. There are lots of ways to explore what you're feeling without actually introducing a man into your bedroom - perhaps explore those options with your wife as a starting point if she is comfortable.
B1tO'RoughJack
Bluelighter
Learn how to break down her barriers if this is something you want. I can't give you any advice on how to do it, but I'm sure someone can advise you how to convince her!
Lysis
Bluelighter
If she sound mixed while rolling, I'm getting the vibe she isn't down for that kind of thing. You can't break down someone's barriers if it is just not someone's thing, and you may find that it will really mess up the relationship if you force her into it. If she says no, you need to leave her alone about it and come up with something else that the two of you can do to explore.
I actually think she might be interested. Her problem is that she has a lot of hangup with sex. She admitted to me that she has hangups because her dad is such a sex maniac. She used to hear him a lot growing up with his random one-night stands. After we started rolling she really opened up sexually.
Sticking a dildo up your ass is NOT the same as being intimate with a man. At all. 8) Nor does it make someone gay or otherwise...that's just exploring the pleasures of the prostrate.
As for OP. Don't try to pressure your wife. Maybe just make gentle suggestions and leave it at that. Wanting to explore is a natural part of being human, but crossing boundaries in serious relationships are not good. Maybe you could just start out by looking at porn which involves bisexual men.
I do that a lot. Although that gets ridiculous as most bisex porn looks so forced. Sometimes I find amateur stuff that looks like everyone is into the act.
Dang.. I thought talking to my chick about me fucking her ass was awkward. I can only imagine.. "Babe can a guy fuck my ass please?" lol
My lady wouldn't be into that either dude.. I think gay sex is kind of off limits to married men these days.
My lady wouldn't be into that either dude.. I think gay sex is kind of off limits to married men these days.
augustaB
Bluelighter
Bisexuals have problems in monogamous relationships.
I still haven't been able to come up with an answer to this one.
You'll just have to live with it.
The only other that will help at all is to talk it over with your partner.
I still haven't been able to come up with an answer to this one.
You'll just have to live with it.
The only other that will help at all is to talk it over with your partner.
B1tO'RoughJack
Bluelighter
Yeah exactly - you gotta manipulate the situaation, so you don't actually talk about it anymore than you already have, but leavve the browser open on some MMF bi porn, or work out another way that will make her come to YOU sayin "can we havve a 3 sum, I'd love to watch you messing around with another dude, then get so turned on I wanna get fucked by you N him together!!"
Fossil_Diver
Bluelighter
You may not be bi and may have a fetish instead. If the idea of having sex with a guy without a woman involved turns you on then you are probably bi. If you get turned on by the thought of MMF sex and don't get turned on by the idea of sex with just a guy and no woman involved then you probably have a fetish for MMF sex. There is a difference. Having a fetish for MMF sex doesn't necessarily make you bi anymore than having a fetish for sex with a shoe makes you a shoe. If you are into having sex with a shoe you are freaky weird though.
modern buddha
Bluelighter
I'm pretty open to the idea of polygamy, as long as there is a very strong bond that trusts the other person to know where that person is sleeping tonight.
As long as your lady is open enough to the idea (sober, mind you!) and has a sex drive that will be able to adapt to that type of a situation, then it's not really a problem. Don't force the idea down her throat, though.
As long as your lady is open enough to the idea (sober, mind you!) and has a sex drive that will be able to adapt to that type of a situation, then it's not really a problem. Don't force the idea down her throat, though.
PriestTheyCalledHim
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Oct 7, 2005
- Messages
- 14,714
Talk to your wife more about it.
Don't try to force her into it and it may take some time.
If you're into watching porn together like some couples are before or during sex maybe you should try watching a bisexual male/male/female porn together?
If you're both there and know about each other having sex with another person then it's not cheating.
I'm bisexual as well but I've never taken MDMA or any of the MDx drugs. I only have had one male partner who is also bisexual who wanted to have sex with both of us and a woman but that never happened, and while we had an open relationship we had talked a lot first and for both of us the biggest thing was knowing that whenever either of us were having sex with other people was that we were having safer sex, and we were honest if either of us occasionally had sex with another person besides each other.
B1tO'RoughJack
Bluelighter
Yeah - except it's not "polygamy"...it's just swinging - it's not even being polyamorous.
Sepher
Bluelight Crew
Tomdpimp, I've come back to this a few times meaning to post, but finding it hard to put my thoughts together. Reading it again it's maybe because I can't see where your 'bisexual' angle comes in? Reading all your posts together in context it doesn't sound like it's all about you exploring your 'bisexuality' at all? I'm using 'quote marks' cos I'm not convinced that's the whole thing, or even the main part of it? Just sounds like you want to swing with the missus involved and explore a wider world of sexual experiences, which may include bisexual ones, but not necessarily? You acknowledge yourself in your first post that you're not physically / sexually attracted to men thus far ((( whereas I am ))) so it sounds more like the 'bisexual' ((( or perhaps more accurately bicurious? ))) thing is just part of a curiosity for scenarios beyond what would be considered the norm for heterosexual couples?
If I'm wrong there I apologise of course, but I think you need to have your desires very clear in your head before you can even hope to communicate them to your partner. You have to be aware that she might not only not share them, she may be actually repulsed by them. You need to be on a pretty firm footing yourself to deal with that. Standard advice on swinging sites when people ask how to introduce their partner is break it slowly, introduce ideas into your fantasy / sexual life in a non-threatening way, see if that enables her to share fantasies she may have had but has felt unable to express up to now, see what happens. It's baiting a hook and seeing if she bites to some extent. That doesn't mean she's gonna bite or that you're gonna get what you want out of it though. If she backs off or doesn't acknowledge the suggestion it ain't gonna work.
Don't push. I've seen couples fall apart where one half tried to accomodate their partners desires and just couldn't do it. The bond between you has to be one of total trust to even think about swinging. Inviting someone else into your bed has to be a shared experience, each of you taking pleasure in the other's pleasure and revelling in it. If you ain't got that it's doomed.
If I'm wrong there I apologise of course, but I think you need to have your desires very clear in your head before you can even hope to communicate them to your partner. You have to be aware that she might not only not share them, she may be actually repulsed by them. You need to be on a pretty firm footing yourself to deal with that. Standard advice on swinging sites when people ask how to introduce their partner is break it slowly, introduce ideas into your fantasy / sexual life in a non-threatening way, see if that enables her to share fantasies she may have had but has felt unable to express up to now, see what happens. It's baiting a hook and seeing if she bites to some extent. That doesn't mean she's gonna bite or that you're gonna get what you want out of it though. If she backs off or doesn't acknowledge the suggestion it ain't gonna work.
Don't push. I've seen couples fall apart where one half tried to accomodate their partners desires and just couldn't do it. The bond between you has to be one of total trust to even think about swinging. Inviting someone else into your bed has to be a shared experience, each of you taking pleasure in the other's pleasure and revelling in it. If you ain't got that it's doomed.
Last edited: