Bipolar - Q's from an anxiety ridden maniac

[oic]

I'm finding that everyone loves me now, which just reinforces the mania. I am sure I'm doing completely stupid shit by accelerating the best aspects of me beyond the speed of light for it's beyond the comprehensibility of society to keep up with, which in turns has a reinforcing effect on me staying manic and giving me a cloud of confusion.

I wonder what it would be like to be Bipolar in a tribal culture. In some, they are quite revered....

Starting to see where your SN comes from cloudburst , and I can totally relate to the cloud of confusion..trust me. Have you had a history of any drug abuse? just wondering..sometimes I don't know if its the bipolar or the craziness from opiate addiction or what is truly wrong with me. Trying to find someone who is BP & also has had opiate/other drug problems to talk to about shit. I think it would be therapeutic to talk to/relate with others who have the same condition(s) but am hesitant to go to group meetings & shit at this point. Baby steps i guess..

& i downloaded windows live add me: [email protected]

& jekyll that's reassuring. I'm almost certain this isn't enough for me, and I've felt 0 side affects from it really other than feeling a little drowsy at times, but that could be the klonopin too & im still manic as balls sometimes. Guess a dosage increase is in order :s

also like your name i must be the most unoriginal BP on these boards

 

[Cloudburst]

Added!

Huge history of drug addiction, but the bipolar definitely preceded that.

 

[graugeist]

...I wonder what it would be like to be Bipolar in a tribal culture. In some, they are quite revered....

I have no idea where you have read that. Where did you read that? What books? I have done a great amount of research into bipolar disorder and everything that I have read suggests that people with mental illness have always been seen as outcasts, even in primitive cultures. Perhaps you are just glorifying your situation because you are manic? I am guilty of this, myself. You are in a dangerous situation right now. There is absolutely nothing nice about mania or untreated bipolar disorder. Mania destroys.

Be safe.

 

[oic]

I have no idea where you have read that. Where did you read that? What books? I have done a great amount of research into bipolar disorder and everything that I have read suggests that people with mental illness have always been seen as outcasts, even in primitive cultures. Perhaps you are just glorifying your situation because you are manic? I am guilty of this, myself. You are in a dangerous situation right now. There is absolutely nothing nice about mania or untreated bipolar disorder. Mania destroys.

Be safe.

what books have you read specifically? which ones would you recommend that aren't huge but are up-to-date? I'm definitely interested in learning as much as i can about it...I can't say I haven't wondered things like cloudburst mentioned manic or not, but one would think even if they were outcasts in a less chaotic society they would be the extremely creative/sometimes come up with some awesome shit..now days, this is obviously not the case for the majority of us, but in theory..

 

[graugeist]

what books have you read specifically? which ones would you recommend that aren't huge but are up-to-date? I'm definitely interested in learning as much as i can about it...I can't say I haven't wondered things like cloudburst mentioned manic or not, but one would think even if they were outcasts in a less chaotic society they would be the extremely creative/sometimes come up with some awesome shit..now days, this is obviously not the case for the majority of us, but in theory..

1.) The Bipolar Handbook by Wes Burgess
2.) Bipolar disorder - The Ultimate Guide by Sarah Owen and Amanda Saunders
3.) The bipolar disorder survival guide : what you and your family need to know by David J. Miklowitz.
4.) Bipolar disorder demystified : mastering the tightrope of manic depression by Lana R. Castle
5.) Bipolar disorder : a guide for patients and families Francis Mark Mondimore

I have read many other books about bipolar disorder, but I don't have them sitting in front of me right now. The books above are ones that I used in a recent psychology term paper and I found them to be quite helpful and informative. Good thing I saved my paper and was able to pull that list out from the bibliography section. Some of them date closer to the year 2000 if I remember correctly, and some are as new as 2006 or 2007. I think the best way to get books that are super recent is through Amazon.com; the books that I listed above either came from my library or were lent to me by therapists and psychiatrists I have seen over the last year and a half.

 

[blueyedevil173]

I have no idea where you have read that. Where did you read that? What books? I have done a great amount of research into bipolar disorder and everything that I have read suggests that people with mental illness have always been seen as outcasts, even in primitive cultures. Perhaps you are just glorifying your situation because you are manic? I am guilty of this, myself. You are in a dangerous situation right now. There is absolutely nothing nice about mania or untreated bipolar disorder. Mania destroys.

Be safe.

I think he was just being whimsically humorous, but there is a shred of truth to his "revered" label.

Holy men of nearly every culture, ancient and modern, have been seen running naked through streets, chanting, sacrificing animals (and sometimes people). Go to any rural church in North Carolina, and it would seem that mania is not only revered, but seemingly required.

That's a very narrow lens to look through, but hopefully it opens a few ideas up.

Now, getting on to helping op...Just tell the doc. Much of anxiety is bred from lies and deception. Take that shit out of your game plan, and you will have a much straighter, much shorter line to getting yourself back.

The exact same situation presented itself to me just 2 days ago, when I had used 20 xanax pills that were supposed to last 30 days. My doc was happy I told the truth, and indicated that he would refill my script for me. The most important thing was that told him I wasn't on enough seroquel and zoloft. So he upped the other 2, and we'll see I guess. Many people have a fear of telling the doc about overuse, often with good reason, but if you lie, it's on you. Tell the truth, and your care is the doc's responsibility.

Unless, of course, you aren't interested in getting better. If you want to remain or go back to being a junkie, I can't fault you. I'm withdrawing from opiates for the 7th time in 4 years.

One of these times I'll fucking get it right.

 

[Jekyll and Hyde]

I think he was just being whimsically humorous, but there is a shred of truth to his "revered" label.

Holy men of nearly every culture, ancient and modern, have been seen running naked through streets, chanting, sacrificing animals (and sometimes people). Go to any rural church in North Carolina, and it would seem that mania is not only revered, but seemingly required.

That's a very narrow lens to look through, but hopefully it opens a few ideas up.

Now, getting on to helping op...Just tell the doc. Much of anxiety is bred from lies and deception. Take that shit out of your game plan, and you will have a much straighter, much shorter line to getting yourself back.

The exact same situation presented itself to me just 2 days ago, when I had used 20 xanax pills that were supposed to last 30 days. My doc was happy I told the truth, and indicated that he would refill my script for me. The most important thing was that told him I wasn't on enough seroquel and zoloft. So he upped the other 2, and we'll see I guess. Many people have a fear of telling the doc about overuse, often with good reason, but if you lie, it's on you. Tell the truth, and your care is the doc's responsibility.

Unless, of course, you aren't interested in getting better. If you want to remain or go back to being a junkie, I can't fault you. I'm withdrawing from opiates for the 7th time in 4 years.

One of these times I'll fucking get it right.

Hey man, good luck. I'm sure if you stick to it and you truly want to get better you will.