Bipolar Depression and Romantic Relationships

[Lobsterbutch]

Hey guys, I myself have several problems, from substance abuse disorders to anxiety, etc.

I'm seeing a girl who has Bipolar Depression. Its been roughly 2.5 years and it has been a crazy relationship. She loves me, then she disappears for a month. She doesn't actually disappear, she just doesn't talk to me. Then she'll come back. A lot of plans we make get dropped, either she gets really sick or she just disappears for a few hours until its too late to do what we planned, then she'll apologize,

in the beginning I thought she was just seeing other people and for whatever weird reason kept me dangling on the hook. But now im realizing she doesn't really see anyone, she spends a lot of time alone.

She's terrified of boats, thunderstorms, airplanes, and night time. She doesn't sleep much because she's afraid someone will break in and kill her.

She's also really really bad at communication. Sometimes I wont be able to speak with her for long periods of time. She say's shes "bad at texting" but I always believed and still believe that's a load of bull shit.

Relationship goes from mild friends with sexual tension to real romance, immediate problems listed above (mainly not seeing each other) happen, I bring up the problems to her and she immediately shuts down the relationship. This cycle has happened like 7 times in a very short period of time.

So my question: Who is in a relationship with a person who suffers from bipolar depression? How is your relationship and how do you make it work? What valuable lessons did you learn?

I really care about her, and I know she does for me, but I want to know how I can handle this, or just walk away.

Thanks guys

 

[Pretty_Diamonds]

Go to couples therapy. Sounds like you need a lot of extra support. :/ Great job hanging in there tho, 2.5 years is a long time.

 

[Intense]

I did it for 5 years, my regret is not getting out sooner.

Fact is she needed to work on herself and there's nothing I could do to help her. It only made me more unhappy and she wasn't doing anything about her condition. The relationship was toxic.


Your situation may be different though, I'm not telling you to leave her. Just stating my experience. I am now extremely happy with my gf of 2 years who is mentally stable and loves and supports me. We lift each other up rather than bringing each other down, or the relationship being one sided.

 

[pofacedhoe]

i know people with bipolar, they dont do this crap

some things are individual behaviours rather than a mental health problem. yes she has mental health issues but randomly ignoring you for long periods of time to me sounds like her making a choice and ignoring you. nothing bipolar specific about that. if you were complaining about her keeping you awake too much or having poor impulose control then i'd be like yeah thats bioplar or even if she spent lots of time away depressed, but this sounds like she just doesn't communicate well and how can you have a relationship when the defining thing about relationships is they are formed from communication?