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Best course of action with this girl?

K

Kyl

Bluelighter
Joined
Jul 21, 2015
Messages
54
Okay so, this girl and I met on social media, we have mutual friends. She asked me hang out with her and her friends. This has been happening for about a week.

In the beginning, she was flirty with a lot of people but always showed me more interest. We ended up fooling around and doing everything except sex(people were in the room asleep).

We continue to hangout for the next week, drinking and going to each others houses. She still is flirty with other dudes but always ends up in a bedroom with me.

I take her out on a date even though we both didn't say it was and it went well. Conversation was okay I suppose. Could've been better.

Last night we hung out. Cept things were a bit off compared to her usual behavior with me. When I picked her up she was telling me all of her family troubles and going on rants about it. I listened and tried to help her as much as I could. We get to my buddies house and start drinking. I'm noticing she's not sitting as close to me as usual. I start to touch her, she lets me until I get to her chest which she pushes away my hand. As the drinks kept coming she got more and more flirty and started allowing me to touch her more. Eventually she got sick(I told her to stop drinking she had enough but would not listen to me) I ended up taking care of her and driving her home. I made sure she was okay before leaving.

She texts me this morning, we talk all day, until I ask her if she wanted to hangout tonight. She replied with "no I'm hanging out with my friend blank tonight" I said oh okay and she said "yeah" last message of the day.

I've seen her on snapchats I don't know what she's up to but it's obvious she blew me off.

I never really intended to like this girl in the beginning because of how flirty she is with other dudes. It just irked me. But as time progressed and we started getting to know each other I started to like her. (****ing pissed about it too).

Some reasons why she is pulled this on me might be because a girl who likes me called me when we were hanging out and I stepped away from the crowd to talk to her. I came back and she was so jealous like "who was that" " what's she say" "what'd you say" "what'd she say after that" I told her not to worry about her because I don't care about that girl. She said I don't care I'm not jealous. Then she left my house soon after.

So that could be a reason or the fact I took her out to eat abit too early. I mean it was the first time I had money in awhile and I wanted to go anyway so it was like me inviting her along.

Basically I need to know what my course of action is considering she blew me off for who knows, probably some dude honestly. In the morning I don't know if she'll text me but she has hit up my cell every day since we met.

She has texted me this morning twice. First was "hey." Second message said "are you mad at me?"

Tips/opinions on this type of behavior?
 
I can't help but laugh at this. It doesn't have to be a game.

If you like her, tell her. If you want to know how she feels about you, ask her. She asked you a question: answer it.
 
Yeah man, just be honest with her. Tell her that you like her and gauge her reaction. If she is into you she will be really happy to you hear you say this, as hopefully the feeling will be mutual. That is really the only logical course of action to take, much better then driving yourself crazy by thinking about it. Be straightforward and see what she has to say.
 
I def agree with everyone... Communication is key!!! Tell her how u feel! But it is strange that she has let u in her personal space, then pushed u away, then allowed u back after being intoxicated.... As a female with different types of friends she doesn't seem like she's taking it seriously or realize that her actions(fooling around with u) are causing u to react(gaining emotions towards her). Maybe say something along the lines of you know as we have been hanging out I really enjoy your company... It's simple and casual so she shouldn't feel weird if she's not having feelings back. So kind of let her lead the conversation after that but pay attention to her body language when she answers you. Like when I say that does she look at u and smile or maybe readjust and just say yes me too ... Also, if she left ur house soon after ur phone conversation she probably is jealous. IMO or at least for me being physical with someone usually does create an emotional bond whether it's acted on or not. So I'd keep things simple and casual and just be honest yet gentle when u tell her u are getting feelings for her. Maybe even say it cute and be like you know ur feeling starting to grow on me followed by a non romantic kiss on the forehead .. Now only do that if u feel that way. And how she reacts should tell u more than what she says. A lot of times females won't say just a yes or no .
 
^lol

Yeah dude stop pussyfooting around and tell her. It might be hard but think would you rather tell her and make some magic or sit back and lose her?

Worked for me it can work for you
 
Be straightforward. Tell her what you'd like. If you want to date her, tell her that. It certainly seems like that as you care about the fact that she "blew you off". If you just want to sleep with her, continue as that
 
For real if you like her tell her, tbh her behaviour doesn't seem at all unsurprising. Sounds like she let her guard down and came in with something serious talking about her family and might of felt unsure about doing it, maybe thinking your not actually that into her as you sounded quite persistent about touching her after this, plus the phone call, not kl bro.
 
Personally it sounds like maybe she was/is dealing with some family shit that night she drank too much. You said her behavior was a bit off and she was ranting about family problems. And then if she drank a bit too much that night it def sounds like there was something personal going on that led her to act off and maybe pushed her to want to drown out a few sorrows. I think there is a good chance that there was something more going on with her fam than she was telling you(maybe she didnt want to make you uncomfortable by unloading all her problems on you)and if she was upset about that it could easily explain why she maybe wasnt in the mood at first that night.

And I dont think she was trying to blow you off the next day either, maybe she really was just hanging out with someone else, maybe it was someone who just happens to know more about her issues, maybe it was just plans she made in advanced. Again, it really sounds like she had some problems happeneing with her family life and maybe she didnt want to freak you out so she hung out with someone she knew she could unload he problems on. You really shouldnt take it so personally and you cannot expect someone to always be ready and available to hang out with only you, people have friends and school and co-workers too and its more than healthy to spend time with someone other than the person you are interested in dating. The fact that she was texting you all day tells me she wasnt blowing you off at all! One really shouldn't think the worst about every situation(not that you do) because you can all too easily create problems that never existed.

So seriously, dont read too much into every little thing and try to remember the girl does have a life and other friends who she might still want to be friends with. It doesnt seem like she is blowing you off at all, otherwise she wouldnt be asking if you were mad at her dude.
 
It sounds like you both like each other and are getting jealous..
Maybe you should just talk to her about it? Be like, it kind of bothers me when you talk to other guys or flirt with other guys because I really do like you. I would like to talk things to the next level, maybe go on another date? Or you could be like, I'm a little confused because you are super flirty with me and I'm flirty towards you but then we don't talk for a while so what are you looking for? Do you want to be in a relationship with me? etc.etc/.
 
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