Benzo withdrawls need some help

TheBollocks

Bluelighter
Joined
Jun 27, 2010
Messages
142
Okay so for the past 3-5 months I have been wd/ing off benzos which was originally around 5-8mgs of clonopin a day with a bevvy of assorted drugs along the way and thats been my life for 6 years now Ive done it all name the drug ive done it in excess but now my doctor and family are really pushing me to become 100% clean my doctor doesnt know shit about benzos he originally ordered my taper schedule to be -.5mg every week needless to say the week of none is rapidly approaching and it has been a living hell since the first week of tapering. Now i am going to see a hopefully more qualified doc but what should I tell him? I mean its been shite for the past few months little to no social life no drive to get out of bed absolutely horrifying pain at all times to get to sleep I have to resort to bottles of nyquil or bags of d. So any advice on what meds/taper schedule I should go for? I really think I was better off on the clonopin Im not really the outgoing type (being an ex debt collector left my life kind of lacking in a lot of areas and a lot of remorse and regrets) I was brilliant I could tell you anything you wanted to know now I am a mess in every sense of the word I can only feel hate (except for today I watched The Cat Returns and for some reasons cried through most of it) my family is trying to help but all I can return is hate cynicism and pure nhilism. What should I do this is very out of character for me to ask anyone for any kind of help but it seems like you all know what youre talking about. Pretty please any advice is welcome and mods if this is in anyway wrong or against the rules fucking delete it without thinking. Thank you.
 
Not sure what to say since I don't know anything about benzos except they can be hard to get off of. As for the new doctor, be totally honest. It will save you headaches in the long run. Best of luck to you. Someone more knowledgable will post soon. This is an awesome place with awesome people :)
 
Hi,

The first thing I want to tell you is that despite EVERYTHING shit you've done with illicit drugs over the past years, that means nothing when it comes to treating a benzo taper. Your family might have rights to be upset with you over this or that, but they need to understand that tapering off of a benzo is not just like "ceasing to buy a street drug." You know, it's dangerous and if you don't do it right, you could face real harm. Same goes for your doctor putting you on that downhill of a taper. 100% clean is a nice thing 'in theory,' but in practice it sometimes takes months/years even to actually get there. Worth it YES, but it must be understood that even if it takes time, that does not mean the person's not motivated. Arguably so, even more careful and concerned with his/her future well-being.

Now i am going to see a hopefully more qualified doc but what should I tell him?

Tell him the honest truth. Tell him what dose of clonazepam/Klonopin you've been taking, your desire to wean your way off of it and that you felt like your past doctor was going too fast. I'm not going to coach you word-for-word here, but just be genuine in that you do want to lower your dose and you do want to do it in a way that is safe for you. A good doctor will understand.

So any advice on what meds/taper schedule I should go for?

I am NOT a doctor, but probably tapering with Klonopin, over time, would be best. We don't like to suggest tapering schedules in TDS again since we're just volunteers, but the best way to taper down off a benzo is with a benzo IMO. It takes time, but it can be done successfully - for sure. And the good thing is that if you can get to a good doctor who actually respects his patients and their stories, s/he will understand and help you do exactly this.

I know what you're going through, as I've felt similar personal horrors and know how benzo WD can feel like Hell on Earth. You might feel like a mess now, but you just need the right doctor.

Please feel free to post any more questions or even thoughts about this whole thing. Trust me you might not want to face the world like this right now, but there are others out there who've hidden in our pasts just like you are now.

You'll get through this :)
 
I was brilliant I could tell you anything you wanted to know now I am a mess in every sense of the word I can only feel hate (except for today I watched The Cat Returns and for some reasons cried through most of it) my family is trying to help but all I can return is hate cynicism and pure nhilism

I know *exactly* what you mean. I was on 6mg klonopin/day (epilepsy) for years. Over time it felt as though I was permanently detached from my emotions and my patience was so easily shattered that I was an absolute horrorshow to be around. I also experienced a lot of long-term memory loss (that has now, thankfully, returned) but if I try to recall even a couple years of my life during my benzotime its foggy, fuguelike... almost as though there are stills/photographs in my mind of different places and times but I had to make up the story in my mind connecting point A to point B (and point A and B could be a couple months from each other). Benzos rob you of your emotional spectrum, but the good news is that the hostility and lack of affect go away, and you will become human once more.

If you genuinely want to get off of them, expect increasing mood swings and a lot more anxiety, especially as you taper. Expect yourself to get frustrated more easily, and try to take this into consideration before you act for the benefit of yourself and those who you care about around you.

5-8mgs/day is a high dose, is that what you are Rxed? When I cut back i went down .25mg/wk and then kept it at the 2mg/day dose for 3 weeks, then continued to taper down. During this time I still had 1mg lorazepam tablets PRN in case the anxiety became overwhelming. That's only my own experience though and not meant to be medically sound.

<3 Good luck.
 
As a klonopin user myself (prescribed), I can only imagine what you must be going through. I think .5 a week is a bit too strong of a taper, especially given your length of use and the amount you've been taking.

I would be completely honest with this new doctor. Let him now how terrified you are to be coming off of this medication. Hopefully he's a decent doctor and will find a taper for you that isn't as drastic, and possibly unnoticeable.

You might find that you really do need the drug, probably in a much smaller dosage, or maybe he can prescribe you something non-narcotic that's equally effective. Bottom line, be honest with this new doctor, and hopefully he can treat you accordingly in a way that's both painless and effective.
 
I once tried self harm by swallowing 60 tabs of klonopin. As you might have guessed, I ended up in the ER, followed by the psych ward. Once I got home, I stopped taking my script of klonopin all together and I had what seemed like the worst w/d in the world. It lasted about a week of pure hell. Stopping cold turkey is dangerous and VERY painful.
 
Thanks all yeah the doc I used to see was always like "well more klonopin might fix that" So I got up there really good. One time I took 100mgs to see what it felt like with little to no repercussions so I never really took into account what would happen if I ran out of pills. This seems to be a good start though ambien and herb help and d for sleep is okay once an a while.
 
Is your doc a proper psych doc? If not u need one. U can do it alone, if u can get the scripts/supply but benzos can be a bitch to get off.

Don't know that much about half these benzos I hear about but they all more or less hit the same receptors, so switch to something with a long half life (usually diazepam) and taper down from that.

Theres always the "atypical" benzos too. And stuff like pregabalin / gabapentin that might help.

Just take it slow and easy. You'll beat it.
 
I recently read somewhere that mentioned people using antihistamines to alleviate wd symptoms as they hit the same receptors. I'm pretty sure it was on one of the better benzo detox sites. When I was tapering off of ativan, I had to remind myself that most of the forums contained their fair share of horror stories that weren't worth a moment of my time. All they did was scare the shit out of me and create a fear that I didn't need. I also had to go through a few Drs before I found one that was even aware of the need to slowly taper off the benzos.The first Dr told me to cut my dose in half, umm yeah? Jackass! I'm sure you've also heard the most helpful thing I found about benzos that to stay at your dose until you are ready, as it always better to take more time than it is to go too fast and end up spiking your dose. Makes sense, after putting in so much time and effort, never go back up in dose. As long as you are not going backwards your doing well IMO. If your unhappy with the speed at which your taper is going, make sure you get anti sezuire med from your Dr before making any larger dose cuts. I think Depakote (sp) is the most common. No need to give yourself another thing to worry about when getting off a benzo. Hang in there, it gets better. I've seen people get of doses much larger and after far more time. If nothing else, at least remember you'll never have to go though it again. That is what helped me the most when I was tapering off.
 
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no doctor is supposed to push you to taper off benzos faster than is comfortable, you're supposed to go at your own pace even if that takes years. my psychiatrist told me this and I've read it numerous places too. I too am on Klonopin daily and I know first hand how hellish the withdrawals are. tell you're new doctor the truth, if he truly is a specialist in this type of medicine he'll know to taper you down at pace that is comfortable to you. there is no reason to suffer excessively with benzo withdrawal, it's hard enough as it is, if you're lucky you'll get a sympathetic doctor who has first hand experience with benzo wd or has seen people go through it. it's nothing to be taken lightly.
 
Thanks all my family doctor after a very very long "talk" wrote me 1.5mgs a day until i feel normal and move from there I guess. All in all now that I can see/think clearly with my meds its the time to sort my life out.
 
I know *exactly* what you mean. I was on 6mg klonopin/day (epilepsy) for years. Over time it felt as though I was permanently detached from my emotions and my patience was so easily shattered that I was an absolute horrorshow to be around. I also experienced a lot of long-term memory loss (that has now, thankfully, returned) but if I try to recall even a couple years of my life during my benzotime its foggy, fuguelike... almost as though there are stills/photographs in my mind of different places and times but I had to make up the story in my mind connecting point A to point B (and point A and B could be a couple months from each other). Benzos rob you of your emotional spectrum, but the good news is that the hostility and lack of affect go away, and you will become human once more.

If you genuinely want to get off of them, expect increasing mood swings and a lot more anxiety, especially as you taper. Expect yourself to get frustrated more easily, and try to take this into consideration before you act for the benefit of yourself and those who you care about around you.

5-8mgs/day is a high dose, is that what you are Rxed? When I cut back i went down .25mg/wk and then kept it at the 2mg/day dose for 3 weeks, then continued to taper down. During this time I still had 1mg lorazepam tablets PRN in case the anxiety became overwhelming. That's only my own experience though and not meant to be medically sound.

<3 Good luck.

how long did it take you to recover man? i've been off xanax for almost a year and i still have the lack of affect and emotional detachment as well as some other stuff. you think it will go away?
 
^ I was feeling like that for months until I had to go back on the meds. Scary scary scary meds.
 
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