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Been alone for over a year.

P

PhillipMcRevis

Bluelighter
Joined
Nov 23, 2011
Messages
208
Location
California
Ok. I think the best way to start this is by winding the clocks back 2 years. I was in a rough relationship that ended badly by this girl leaving to a different country because of me. And after that whole train wreck of a disater. I was alone and I enjoyed my time and I got into perusing my dreams and ended up at culinary school. I've been the quiet type for a while now. And as of last week on Monday to be exact this girl here has been flirting with me and I've been oblivious to it the whole week. And now I'm freaking out. Her friend took my phone and have me her number and said she was amazing and she is gorgeous. Well to me she is. And since I haven't down this in 2 whole years I'm literally shitting my self of here. I'm beyond nervous and it's weirding me out. I feel like my stomach is in knots and this girl apparently has been obsessed about me that she even confessed her feelings to me and I'm over here freaking out and sounding like a complete idiot for not knowing what to do? So could anyone recommend any help as to what I should do. I can't really sleep or think straight. I feel like a young kid finding his first love even though I've been in 9 relationships. Anyone know any calming remedies? I can't even function properly well mentally that is. It's weird that after being alone for so long and sulking and getting to enjoy it I ended up talking to this girl and the only advice I've gotten is from my uncle who I told and he said to remain calm, be honest and go with the flow of things. Please someone I feel like a disater of a man.
 
do some excercise and dont be asking for things to calm you down.

first and foremost when i'm freaking out i go swim for 40 minutes and put some real exhaustive effort in. exercise is there for stress release- i'm not talking about a leisurely walk i mean some hard cardio that goes on for 30-40 minutes, then see afterwards if you are way calmer.

it gives you endorphins and that to me feels like opiate calmness (althought not the same euphoria). great way to deal with a high stress job

works much better than drugs and is actually good for you.

just sounds like ur in lurrrv a little bit lol
 
The easy answer is dont worry about it as females are just people too all the stress is in your mind. I hope to one day find myself in the same boat as you (6 year relationship ended almost a year ago) but to be honest i probably dont care enough at this moment to have it happen.

I second the whole go for a jog or something. Being active physically is a good distraction and it will help relax you and burn some energy. Otherwise you should enjoy the feeling of infatuation as I recall its rather fun :)
 
Its funny i got these responses. the thing is that I do exercise.... well I ride my bike for at least 7-10 miles since there is a big trail by where I live and I still fell like a kid who discovered his first love. I think its the thought of not being in a shitty relationship where I wasn't happy. who knows I am going to do this day by day and just go with the flow.............. or I think I can. I should have posted yesterday but yesterday we went to go have tea and next thing I know she is confessing herself and telling me she liked me as well as me weirding out and outright saying she was gorgeous. things are going way to quick! she even kissed me last night! I feel rushed and kinda stressed cause I literally feel this is way off
 
Aww.. this is so cute!!

Have you guys went on a date? Just remember to breathe.. like deep, slow breaths.

Edit: Oh kiss already! You stud!! Get it!!
 
just sounds like when its real it feels intense. go with it.

you ride bike, its just a fast paced ride /rollercoaster. just go weeeeeeeeeeeeeee AS YOU FLY BY
 
Pretty_Diamonds said:
Aww.. this is so cute!!

Have you guys went on a date? Just remember to breathe.. like deep, slow breaths.

Edit: Oh kiss already! You stud!! Get it!!
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Yeah that happened.... well this got weird and I think I got hit with a dose of the feels that hit the shit out of me. Its like life just slapped the bitch out of me. I'm having fun with it and I guess I keep up the daily exercise habits and get things working right. By that it means I'm so nervous I haven't been able to process much. I feel so slow and the way she flirts with me wants me want to simply want to ask what she is doing but as of lately I feel like I've topped all of her compliments. It's just weird......... still

EDIT: a date? I can not for the love of god come up with any ideas on what we should do!! I draw a blank. Literally the best idea I have is a collectors show (I live in so cal) wheres there is a bunch of vendors who sell rare collectibles. that or a cool tea house that I go to that has flower tea.
 
:) It honestly sounds like so amazing and like so much fun! Thanks for sharing with us!!

You say, you draw a blank.. but then you list two awesome choices!! Haha. I love the collectors show (so unique) and the tea house (so cute!!!)
 
Well those are places that I have stumbled into recently and I'm going through this disaster with her..... she is obsessing hard over me and same with me. I am not used to all this lovey dovey non sense. but I guess it brings about a happy part of me that I never knew I had. plus I realized she is the damn reason why I haven't eaten or slept right in a week. Oh god this is it. I've grown soft.........
 
PhillipMcRevis said:
So could anyone recommend any help as to what I should do. I can't really sleep or think straight. I feel like a young kid finding his first love even though I've been in 9 relationships. Anyone know any calming remedies? I can't even function properly well mentally that is. It's weird that after being alone for so long and sulking and getting to enjoy it I ended up talking to this girl and the only advice I've gotten is from my uncle who I told and he said to remain calm, be honest and go with the flow of things. Please someone I feel like a disater of a man.
Click to expand...

I get very anxious also. My hands get really sweaty and I panic in my mind but nobody knows but me. The best advice I can give you is to learn to pretend. Pretend that you aren't stressed and freaking out...try to pretend to be calm even though you are about to explode. There is power in pretending, trust me.
 
Of course. I have been pretending and I play the stupid role perfectly it's a solid persona for me. But as of lately I feel like I've been messing up but this girl is still after me. Like she cherishes me a lot.. It's weird. It's hard to pretend.
 
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