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Becoming a Better Listener

chasingabee

chasingabee

Bluelighter
Joined
Dec 31, 2012
Messages
165
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inside a jar
my girlfriend is always telling me that i "dont listen". what does she mean by this? how can i become a better listener? she gets really angry sometimes because it seems i dont listen to her very well and i think if i dont get better at listening she is going to dump me. please help.
 
Well ifu have a dick and under the age of about 35.... then yes,she is probably rite. It's. Actually pretty simple.take the time to listen to even the smallest of things ,and remember to listen to the whole story.show her that u aknowledge. Her and make her feel like she is the only woman on earth,the love of your life, a queen.weoman need this from time to time.
 
Wait. What were you saying?

In all seriousness, just pay attention to her. Listen and respond when she's talking. It's really that simple.
 
We can't really tell you precisely what she means by this, but it would typically mean that she feels you simply don't pay enough attention to what she has to say...maybe you completely forget about stuff she's told you, or don't acknowledge things that are important to her, that kind of stuff. Best thing to do is to simply always be listening attentively when she talks to you (ie. don't let your mind drift off, etc.), realise when she's saying something that's important to her and acknowledge it accordingly. Good luck :)
 
Does she talk about things that bore you? Maybe work, school, friends, family, drama, tv shows, anything. Do you kinda tune out, not remember *exactly* what she said about them? Do you forget that her friend Jane got mad at her friend Lisa because Lisa hung out with Jane's boyfriend without telling Jane? Do you forget that her brother got kicked out of class the other day for talking back to the teacher and then he went to the principal's office and then the principal sent him to this other teacher and now he's suspended? Bla bla, stuff like that, stories like that, they are important to her. Listen to every detail. It may not seem important to you but it's important to her.
 
It's all about memory and recondition..

1. A + B = C
OMG I CAN'T believe A+ B happens and then.... C
Totally didn't C see it coming..
2. Girlfriend: Hey did you remember when A + B..?
I think B + C is gonna.. AHHHH
No, I mean seriously, I had NO idea B+C was going to because you said C + A all along!!!
(omg you're totally right; i suck).
3. OKAY BUT SERIOUSLY,
If you don't know faces, get to know them fast
If you don't know her friends names (get on IT), boyfriends names (yeah totally important), brother names (just in case), friends names (those bitchy/ jelly bitches),...
 
haha some nice replies so thanks. yes i do tend to tune out about those stories about who said what to who and who did what. i must pay closer attention to the details. the problem is probably not helped by my really short attention span.
 
Ok, I'm gay I've noticed that men and women tend to respond very differently re: the listening issue.

Specifically, women tend to want sympathy much more than a direct response. Look into her eyes while she's talking to you and keep quiet. Let her talk it all out, and just acknowledge that you've heard what she said. Don't give advice or anything that could be construed as an order. If you need to, reiterate back to her what she's saying to you when she's done, to make sure you're understanding her and that you're on the same page.

If you're talking about interpersonal problems in your relationship, ask her what she thinks the solution is. Basically, work it out, but try to be more receptive, reciprocal, and passive.

I'd suggest you google, "active listening techniques." Good luck.
 
Don't just listen her, think about what she says, or at least make yourself look like thinkg about it. Listening is not about being in pure silence and just listen, that a wall can do as well. Just make cross questions and she will think you care about her. But obviously if you don't just fake it, you will achieve more. Be interactive ... and if she brings up same topic later on, recall some info from the past, and let her know you remember. Do not try this on mephedrone binge, it just wont work :D and good luck.
 
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