Back to square 1

[ethnobot781]

Oh, my Octsober of last year seems so long ago now

A couple of months after my back operation the pain returned in a different part of my back. After a while of this I had to resort to opioids (principally DHC) for some relief but it's been getting worse and I had to start topping up my prescription drugs with pod tea.

My physio reckons I have degenerative problems in my spine but my GP reckons it's too soon to refer me back to the specialist so just keeps giving me painkillers.

I went back to him last week since the pain was getting so bad I could hardly keep mobile or do my back exercises and the only extra medication he would offer me was tramadol.

The pain and lack of relief had been depressing me and I had by this point slid back in to taking higher doses than I really needed just for analgesia since it was the only thing that made me feel mentally normal enough to function. Because of this and the problem I had before with getting hooked on trams I turned them down. But that night the pain was so bad I would've tried anything so I got on the phone in the morning and ordered some tramadol up from the doc.

A few days later and I'm properly hooked. I know I can get this stuff easily and it makes me feel really good, and takes away my pain to quite an extent. I'm really depressed by my backsliding weakness tho - less than a year and I'm back to being a drug addict.

Apologies for being a whinging sod but TDS here on BL is the only place I can talk about this issue and actually get any support.

Peace, Ethnobot

 

[AndroidsDreamofBTC]

Sorry to hear that you're having troubles with your back. I just wanted to tell you, using opiates for pain management isn't the same thing as being a drug addict. You have a serious issue and it would immoral not to give you pain medication. Seriously dude, don't be so hard on yourself. It's not like you're slamming H in order to achieve analgesia.

Perhaps you should talk to you doctor in detail about your concerns? Maybe he would know of some better solution?

Take care,

 

[ethnobot781]

Thanks for the kind words. I am an addict tho for sure. My scripts never last me and I'm taking just more than I need to kill the pain just to get slightly high coz it's the only meabs I have to combat the attendant desperate depression. I even saw a shrink to try and get help with the latter but the meds he gave me seem to block the action of some of my painkillers and after 2 months they weren't helping with their stated purpose so I knocked them on the head.

I'm supplementing my scripts for DHC & tramadol with pod tea and even CWEs of codeine phosphate - this is not the way I want to live but if I don't take all this (plus diclofenac as an anti inflammatory) then I just don't want to live at all and I really don't wanna go down that road

 

[AndroidsDreamofBTC]

Thanks for the kind words. I am an addict tho for sure. My scripts never last me and I'm taking just more than I need to kill the pain just to get slightly high coz it's the only meabs I have to combat the attendant desperate depression. I even saw a shrink to try and get help with the latter but the meds he gave me seem to block the action of some of my painkillers and after 2 months they weren't helping with their stated purpose so I knocked them on the head.

I'm supplementing my scripts for DHC & tramadol with pod tea and even CWEs of codeine phosphate - this is not the way I want to live but if I don't take all this (plus diclofenac as an anti inflammatory) then I just don't want to live at all and I really don't wanna go down that road

Well, I think at this point you might want to try and make sure you switch to stronger opiates. I was thinking of suggesting to try non-opiate based pain medication like Marinol, but I'd imagine it's not good enough for back problems.

good luck!

 

[ethnobot781]

There's no way I'll get stronger pain relief for back pain. I need a referral back to the specialist but I haven't suffered long enough apparently

Some nights when I'm laying awake in agony, barely able to move, I consider calling an ambulance. Do you think that would be justifiable? I wouldn't want to take up an ambulance if not.

 

[edgewise1]

Nothing really to add except to let you know your not alone my friend. I have a herniated disc between my L3-L4 vertabrae and use up my prescribed meds ahead of time each month. I was addicted to tramadol before this happened so I supplement with the tram. I get 180 percocet 10/325's a month, although this past week when it was time to renew my script, my dr switched me back to norco 10/325.

Anyway, just wanted to let you know you were not the only one in that boat when it came to tramadol and back problems! Hang in there as we really have no other choice.

 

[ethnobot781]

Thanks for the support, it means a lot when I'm feeling isolated and depressed.
Do people think if it gets that bad in the night again I should call for an ambulance or would it be time-wasting? I'm scared of being told off by the hospital staff but it sometimes is unbearably agonising. I'm sure I read that evidence of peripheral nerve damage like loss of bowel or bladder control is the only time you should call an ambulance for your back. Is this true or could I do it to get help with severe pain?

 

[edgewise1]

Nothing really to add except to let you know your not alone my friend. I have a herniated disc between my L3-L4 vertabrae and use up my prescribed meds ahead of time each month. I was addicted to tramadol before this happened so I supplement with the tram. I get 180 percocet 10/325's a month, although this past week when it was time to renew my script, my dr switched me back to norco 10/325.

Anyway, just wanted to let you know you were not the only one in that boat when it came to tramadol and back problems! Hang in there as we really have no other choice.

 

[AndroidsDreamofBTC]

Thanks for the support, it means a lot when I'm feeling isolated and depressed.
Do people think if it gets that bad in the night again I should call for an ambulance or would it be time-wasting? I'm scared of being told off by the hospital staff but it sometimes is unbearably agonising. I'm sure I read that evidence of peripheral nerve damage like loss of bowel or bladder control is the only time you should call an ambulance for your back. Is this true or could I do it to get help with severe pain?

I am not sure if something is okay as per regulation in the UK, but I mean I can't see them telling you off for back pain? If you're concerned, perhaps call in the hospital or maybe check out their website. I can't believe that are so weird about pain management in the UK. I though it was only in Eastern Europe people stigmatize drugs so much that they can't even give them to people who need them.

Hey man, if you're bored or wana talk or something, feel free to PM me or come over to the Bluelight Ecstasy Discussion chat room at #BluelightED on undernet. There are usually some pretty chill people there.

 

[Help me please]

There's no way I'll get stronger pain relief for back pain. I need a referral back to the specialist but I haven't suffered long enough apparently

Some nights when I'm laying awake in agony, barely able to move, I consider calling an ambulance. Do you think that would be justifiable? I wouldn't want to take up an ambulance if not.

Ask for a referral to a pain management doctor. They can try things besides stronger meds for you. Mine does "procedures" which I guess are shots in people's backs too. There is no such thing as not soon enough when it comes to pain.

 

[ethnobot781]

There don't seem to be specialist pain doctors in my area at least on the british NHS like there are in the US There are support groups for long-term pain management but they are an experimental development and so places are very limited. I've been on the waiting list for roughly a year so far with referral letters from 3 healthcare proffessionals. These are patient-run groups though, no docs or even nurses involved so very different.

I have had an unexpected breakthrough this week. I went back to the doctor and told him that I was developing "unpleasant side effects that I'd experienced before on high doses of tramadol" and that "these included effects on concentration and memory that meant I sometimes had trouble with the dosing schedule". So basically I told him the score but also worded it very carefully to not sound like I was abusing the meds. Basically if the doctors round here peg you as a druggie or drug seeker you are permanently screwed for pain relief. I couldn't live in those circumstances, call me weak if you want.

I told him I needed to reduce the dosage of tramadol but was very worried about the reduction in analgesia and the compound effect of this on my mood (I also have a diagnosis of cyclothymia and generalised anxiety disorder). The doc went through a repeat examination of my back and a question-and-answer session about the type, location and frequency of the pain. Then he suggested starting me on gabapentin and then increasing the dose of it as I reduced the dose of the tramadol. I agreed to give this a go since he was clear that I could return to my full dose of painkillers if the gabapentin treatment was unsuccessful and look for further options.

I'd heard interesting but conflicting reports about gabapentin and went in to the experiment with an open mind. As with the tramadol I turn out to be one of the minority who can achieve a degree of euphoria off therapeutic or near doses, at least initially. Over the past days I've managed to reduce my tramadol dosage by nearly half, now using 900-1800mg of gabapentin daily as required. I have noticed no significant wd symptoms in this period. This is compared to tapers in previous periods addicted to trams when a similar dose reduction would have taken over twice as long with little doses of codeine and benzos during the first week and been attended by wd symtoms worse than a similar situation with IV morphine for me! The only subjective difference in feelings, including analgesia and mood, I have noticed changing the meds is an expected small increase in sedation and a little minor nausea (for me the nausea is treatable easily with peppermint tea, which is normally ineffective for nausea as a side effect of drugs just in case this home remedy works for anyone else with gastric side effects from gabapentin use)

I'm aware that I'll need to wd from the gabapentin at some stage but from the research I've done I have high hopes that it will be much easier than the hell of wd's I usually go through from coming off tramadol. Although actually I also have a diagnosis of cyclothymia and gabapentin is a mood stabiliser too so I have the potential for a script for it even if I do eventually get the right intervention for my back and neck pain. I wouldn't mind having to be on this drug for a while, it makes me a bit stupider than normal but not much I don't think lol. As long as I don't think it would be forever I could happily use it for the medium-long term. It's been a godsend for the nerve pains coming from the degraded discs in my spine.

I almost forgot to mention that I've manage to only use dihydrocodeine very occasionally and at a reduced dose from what has been normal for me lately since the gabapentin took effect and have stopped supplementing with pod tea entirely!

I know this drug isn't the perfect solution and wouldn't be suitable for every addict but I thought my experience was worth reporting to those who have shown me support and to inform other sufferers of a potential aid in their struggle. After all I didn't know it would be any use for me til I tried it. I can't comment on the effectiveness or wisdom of this replacement strategy in the longer term yet of course but will report back in the future.

Thanks for listening, abd all your replies so far. You've helped me more than you'll ever know by each taking the time to write a few encouraging lines that I could and did read at some of my moments of lowest ebb, in pain-wracked blackly-depressed sleepless nights.

Peace, Ethnobot

(P.S. - mods I know that some of the information in this post is copied from a reply to a user on a post from another thread in a different part of bluelight but I wanted to let both disparate groups of users know my progress. I think both posts serve purposes and that they are different enough not to constitute double posting but if you disagree I'll rewrite with a link instead. Apologies for any inconvenience.)

 

[mdmantpa]

sorry to hear about the pain, dont be too hard on yourself for falling back into your old ways, its a hard road to have addictions and chronic pain. I have back problems from herniated discs and arthritis in my hip joints, so I feel your pain, its rough but hold on and things will get better, they alwasy do eventually