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Mental Health Attempted suicide again, I can't take this hell anymore

C

candidsurprise

Bluelighter
Joined
Oct 18, 2017
Messages
134
Tried to hang myself, family member heard me wailing beforehand and came in to hold my body up. I can't take this hell anymore, I know all of the causes of it. I have been relentlessly trying to overcome just some of them for 6 years flat out and I only get worse with time. It's completely unbearable. Every fibre of my being yearns for death. Please God take my life, I don't want to live in this hellfire called planet earth any longer.
 
candidsurprise said:
Tried to hang myself, family member heard me wailing beforehand and came in to hold my body up. I can't take this hell anymore, I know all of the causes of it. I have been relentlessly trying to overcome just some of them for 6 years flat out and I only get worse with time. It's completely unbearable. Every fibre of my being yearns for death. Please God take my life, I don't want to live in this hellfire called planet earth any longer.
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I'm sorry you are feeling this way.

Have you ever gone to a hospital Emergency Room and told them what you told us? It's not fair to your family to have to deal with this. Please go to an Emergency Room and get help.
 
All I can say is, I totally understand how you feel. This life is hell and it just gets worse as the years drag on. I don't blame you at all for wanting to take your life. I'm not here to encourage you to do it, just to say that I totally, 100% understand and there is no way to sugar coat it. I've been in a hell that I can't seem to overcome, for the past 6 years or so myself. So I get it, I really do.

If you feel like you have the will power to write out your story, I'd love to read it. If you're past the point of talking, I get it. If you're not, then I'd love to learn more about you.
 
Sending love your way. I feel terrible you're going through this.

Are you still feeling actively suicidal? If you are, you should really consider checking into a behavioral health unit at a hospital.

Praying you get the help you need 🙏

Reach out to someone here if you need someone to speak in depth with.
 
candidsurprise said:
Tried to hang myself, family member heard me wailing beforehand and came in to hold my body up. I can't take this hell anymore, I know all of the causes of it. I have been relentlessly trying to overcome just some of them for 6 years flat out and I only get worse with time. It's completely unbearable. Every fibre of my being yearns for death. Please God take my life, I don't want to live in this hellfire called planet earth any longer.
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hey candidsurprise,

do you have a friend/family that can do help you a comprehensive search of all free/low cost mental health options in your area/state?

I'm not talking about about psych ward. But I know from recent experience there were options here in Australia i would not have discovered if friends hadnt told me about them.

I'm guessing you feel pretty rocky. i just wonder if there's anyone you can enlist to help research some things.

Please send out some feelers to friends/fam to ask for the help with web search/phone call all that stuff.

Alternatively, if there is anyone you can hit up for a change of scenery this might have the same effekt as a mental health retreat. Take it easy candid, i''ll be around :>
 
Hanging yourself? That's one of the most gruesome ways to go. If your neck doesn't break you can survive for a very long time, and your body will struggle so to make sure that you will survive for longer. And if you're doing it to yourself, the chance that your neck will break is pretty low.

I know this sounds cheesy, but have you tried doing something good with your life? Actually trying to make this hellhole better instead of waiting for things to get better on their own, or "God" smiting you?

That's a lazy attitude, and many people on this earth have it. That's why this place is still such a shithole. Because everyone whines and bitches and moans about how bad everything here is, but not many do anything about it.
 
December Flower said:
Hanging yourself? That's one of the most gruesome ways to go. If your neck doesn't break you can survive for a very long time, and your body will struggle so to make sure that you will survive for longer. And if you're doing it to yourself, the chance that your neck will break is pretty low.

I know this sounds cheesy, but have you tried doing something good with your life? Actually trying to make this hellhole better instead of waiting for things to get better on their own, or "God" smiting you?

That's a lazy attitude, and many people on this earth have it. That's why this place is still such a shithole. Because everyone whines and bitches and moans about how bad everything here is, but not many do anything about it.
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To someone who is suicidal, logic and reason and better judgement have next to zero gravity or holding power. They make sense to you and me, they have weight, and they largely factor into our decision making but for the ones who are carrying a burden like the kind that leads to suicide, it doesn't factor in. The weight of the burden is so excruciatingly hard to carry day after day, in a mental and emotional hell and the only thing that gives them hope of relief from the pain is disconnecting from the source of it...

Telling a suicidal person to try doing something good with their life is less than useless advice.
 
December Flower said:
Hanging yourself? That's one of the most gruesome ways to go. If your neck doesn't break you can survive for a very long time, and your body will struggle so to make sure that you will survive for longer. And if you're doing it to yourself, the chance that your neck will break is pretty low.

I know this sounds cheesy, but have you tried doing something good with your life? Actually trying to make this hellhole better instead of waiting for things to get better on their own, or "God" smiting you?

That's a lazy attitude, and many people on this earth have it. That's why this place is still such a shithole. Because everyone whines and bitches and moans about how bad everything here is, but not many do anything about it.
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I don't think there's anything wrong with this not pulling punches. Candid didn't mince words when he told us he tried to end his life. Sometimes brutal honesty requires brutal honesty about something as irrevocable as ending your own life.
 
,we all hve tobdo this life too. keep going help us understand and thenIwevall can try to get better. just keep helping by tryjngandto dk good things see and try to nake it better. what have you got to lose. give it a try to help at least. help us at least. us. someone once. or tell us why and then explain more. you can do this. keep trying to help.
 
darvocet21 said:
I don't think there's anything wrong with this not pulling punches. Candid didn't mince words when he told us he tried to end his life. Sometimes brutal honesty requires brutal honesty about something as irrevocable as ending your own life.
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W i s e 👆
 
candidsurprise said:
Tried to hang myself, family member heard me wailing beforehand and came in to hold my body up. I can't take this hell anymore, I know all of the causes of it. I have been relentlessly trying to overcome just some of them for 6 years flat out and I only get worse with time. It's completely unbearable. Every fibre of my being yearns for death. Please God take my life, I don't want to live in this hellfire called planet earth any longer.
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I had gastric bypass I used to be 455 pounds so every day I quit myself scared I'll gain all my weight back.
I have terrible numb painful feet, neuropathy. I have a bad back that hurts every time I work out, or work.
My brother and sister do fent, and heroin and so are kinda useless people just killing my parents faster and they both drain money.. I'm a middle child btw and I'm 37.

Was a time I wanted to kill myself, but I'm sober almost two years, life's much better now, I'm pretty happy .

Im only saying everyone's got problems but in the end I'm telling you this do get better

Things got better for me and I have permanent surgery I can't change I never thought I would be happy in my own body again.. But ya I am pretty happy. Don't kill your self..
Try this, go to the hospital tell them your issues..

Well I'm assuming you got health insurance. Tell the people who love you what's going on.. shit I'm not a word smith.

I just dunno I could tell you some shit about my life and I'm making it work.

I am the only person in my family beside my parents who helps with cleaning, working....

Also you might paralyze yourself forever trying to hang yourself. That's a bad risk. But I'm not going talk anymore. Sorry to even make this about my problems but I get lots mental stuff, like either I got hearing problem or I'm hearing voices.. I think of killing myself and I know that's not normal but I dunno man what do u need to hear to help. I want to help.
 
If at first you don't succeed at skydiving, then maybe it's not for you. Relax, breath, just be you and let the positive continue within yourself and create your greatness down on this earth. And strength of the life your living can and will begin.
 
hylite said:
If at first you don't succeed at skydiving, then maybe it's not for you. Relax, breath, just be you and let the positive continue within yourself and create your greatness down on this earth. And strength of the life your living can and will begin.
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A good Aphorism
 
Shardzvark said:
To someone who is suicidal, logic and reason and better judgement have next to zero gravity or holding power. They make sense to you and me, they have weight, and they largely factor into our decision making but for the ones who are carrying a burden like the kind that leads to suicide, it doesn't factor in. The weight of the burden is so excruciatingly hard to carry day after day, in a mental and emotional hell and the only thing that gives them hope of relief from the pain is disconnecting from the source of it...

Telling a suicidal person to try doing something good with their life is less than useless advice.
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I get this. Personally, in the time after I've OD'd or tried to end it, the worst thing someone can say to me is "It will get better". All that does is make me fucking angry when what I'm really craving is for someone to just say they understand.

Thing is, things WILL get better. Nothing ever stays the same especially when you're at such a low point where you feel like it can't change, so it's not bad advice as such to say that things can get better or to share experiences where things have been dire but have improved. It's just impossible to believe any of that when you're at the end of your tether and actively wanting to die.

@candidsurprise I hope you're doing ok. Drop us all a message to let us know where you're at if you're able.
 
December Flower said:
Hanging yourself? That's one of the most gruesome ways to go. If your neck doesn't break you can survive for a very long time, and your body will struggle so to make sure that you will survive for longer. And if you're doing it to yourself, the chance that your neck will break is pretty low.

I know this sounds cheesy, but have you tried doing something good with your life? Actually trying to make this hellhole better instead of waiting for things to get better on their own, or "God" smiting you?

That's a lazy attitude, and many people on this earth have it. That's why this place is still such a shithole. Because everyone whines and bitches and moans about how bad everything here is, but not many do anything about it.
Click to expand...

Yes I spent 5 years laboriously trying to improve my life. The escalation of severe depression in the last couple of years arose out of this exhaustion for no benefit. It is a state of learned helplessness. It is also an inability to cope with 6 mental health diagnoses, along with physical health issues.
 
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