Att Brand-X : The Bible. (ARGH! no it's not a religious rambling)

M

mona

Bluelight Crew
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I have always wanted to read the Bible. I Have also always said that I don't believe in 'God'. I mean I believe in 'something' I just don't know what it is yet. I also find it kind of hypocritical for me to NOT believe in something I know nothing about.
Your posts in 'Random Chemical reaction or God Given Gift' really inspired me to get off my ass and learn something about it all. I've got to stop being so ignorant, and maybe in the process learn to appreciate some differing views.
The only probalem is...I have no idea what to go out and buy!!! Aren't there like different versions etc etc..are they all basically the same ? (see this is how little I know..I mean Adam and Eve are called Adam and Eve in all of the yeah?)
Anyway, yeah, your help on which version, copy, publisher's choice to buy, would really make things easier.
Thanks!
mona.
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If you can stand the language, read the King James version. It's considered one of the most poetic English-language works. Which would make sense considering ol' James had a buttload of language-scholars and poets translating the thing. But then, that's speaking from a English-major, literature-appreciation, too-much-time-on-my-hands point of view
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. If you just want the bare-bones religiosity blah-blah, then... well, I'm sure there's SOME reasonable "plain English" version out there. I just wouldn't know of one
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Loupy
 
i can't believe that i of all people have just convinced someone to read the bible
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my parents, friends, co-workers, girlfriend, son, doctor, professors, milkman, postman, and anyone else who has ever met me will be in complete shock.
actually, can we keep this on the down low??? please!!! if anyone asks, it was mr. sticky that put you up to it okay??? that is, unless there is a god (in the biblical sense) and when you're called before him he asks you who got you started on your path towards spiritual purity. then and only then may you spill the beans
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. if things continue the way they are headed now, i'll need all the brownie points i can get
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seriously though, just go to any motel room and steal whichever version they have lying around
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no, wait a minute, i will rot in hell for that poor attempt at humour.
i would just take loupy's suggestion and get the king james version. the language is kinda archaic, but you strike me as an intelligent lass (i can't believe i just used that word
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). besides, the archaic language just adds to the gravity of the text.
miss mona, you have just made my day
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And the end of all our exploring/Will be to arrive where we started
/And to know the place for the first time.
-T.S. Eliot
"In the war on drugs, I'm a conscientious objector" -- brand-x
 
Hi Mona - Personally I don't know whether God exists or not, but I think it would be better for His reputation if He didn't.
Don't concern yourself with books on the topic. Try a film instead. My recommendation is Monty Python's The Life of Brian.
I hope you're not about to become a born-again Christian - they're usually a bigger pain in the ass the second time around. But this won't happen to you Mona. You're too CUTE!!!!!!!!
May peace be your constant companion.
- Patrick
 
Why didn't you say so? Sure, my childhood of being subjected to 80's country music didn't really come in handy, but perhaps my childhood of being raised as a Catholic could. I have my trusty bible tucked away in a cupboard which I can lend you to read. Don't ask me why I still have it. Call me sentimental or something but it's there.
I have also had the same thoughts as you some time in my life where if I read the complete bible, like cover to cover, I would come to a better understanding of what God is. I didn't. It's all crap. But don't let my negative view of Catholisism and Christianity in general bias your own opinion.
It's the version we studied in high school so the language in it is quite easy to read. I think it also has a study guide in the front to help you out
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I personally think the Old Testament is more interesting...more adultery, plagues and fun stuff. The Book of Revelations is also an interesting read. mmmm Prophecies.
Just remember this is only the Christian view of God. You've a long way to go in your studies
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Have fun!
miss apple
 
Ummm..I dont know if I need the High School version...but thanks anyway Apples. I also don't expect to hang all my newfound knowledge in my 'Beliefs' cupboard.
To put it simply..I just liked Brand-X's little rendition of the whole Garden of Eden thingy...got me interested. J/K
Patrick...no need to worry, I've had my share of Born Again's trying to weazle their way into my life and I think I've managed to squash about every single one of 'em, so unless I intend to squash myself..uh, you get the picture.
I think I'm going to go for the King James version, Loupy painted a rather attractive picture for me
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Also, umm, my last Boss was in the process of reading an actual novel based on the Bible, I have no idea what it was called, but it sounded pretty raunchy
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and cool. If anyone knows of it, could you let me know???
Thanking you all.
mona.
 
brand-x,
Given my past, I think the world would be in a profound state of shock if it knew I encouraged anyone to read the Bible. Not that I discourage reading...okay, maybe I do...but that's just so the world will be stoopid enough for me to ascend to power!
I don't know if there really is a God or not, nor would it change the way I lived my life if I found out for sure...but reading a book written by fallible hands often times hundreds of years after the "actual" events took place seems to be a dicey proposition at best. Factor in the translation to English and further "editing" by a collection of English bishops and archbishops during King James' reign (hence, the name) with their own religious agenda, and you have a book that is probably lucky to resemble anything that actually "happened."
I'm not very fond of Christianity, despite (or maybe because of) the fact I was raised in a Christion environment. I'm constantly amazed how it has repeatedly stifled scientific or creative thought...often taking the lives of those "heretics" in the name of God.
No, I don't think I'd recommend the King James Bible (no disrespect loupy...from a grammatical and literary standpoint, I'm sure it's quite beautiful), but you might try the Torah, Koran, Bhagavid Vita, possibly the Art of War, I Ching, etc. Judaism, Islam, Hindu, Buddhism, and Chinese philosophy are historically more receptive to education and the accumulation of knowledge...you may want to even check into Rosicrucian literature (an ancient offshoot of Christianity affiliated with the Knights of Templar, essentially the shock troops and religious officers {for want of a better term} during the Crusades. The Catholic church eventually excommunicated and hunted them down for not bowing to the will of the Vatican...among other things).
Of course, if you just want to bone up on the Bible (get yer heads outta da toilet, peeps...that's not how I meant it
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), then ignore my entire statement and maybe see if you can find a translation that doesn't use the King James version as a stepping stone. Regardless, I remember Jesus' parables to be rather avant garde (translation: KICK ASS) considering the time frame. He was the original PLURilicious candy raver...
...Sticky talks outta his ass...for no real reason............again...
 
Hey, the Bible itself is pretty raunchy, especially in the Old Testament
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. Incest, murder, betrayal, etc etc. Just read about David, he was a lovely one, sending his friend (I think he was his friend, whatever, it's been awhile) off to be killed in a war so he could have the guy's wife. And he was God's chosen! Tsk tsk.
Loupy
 
I'm sorry, miss apple...I hope my post didn't turn your posting into a colossal waste of time.
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I think this is the first time we've double-posted that you deferred to me...usually you're the thinking one and I'm comic relief. Ah...will wonders never cease? This must be a sign of the impending apocolypse
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I can't stand the itching but I don't mind the swelling...
 
Hey mona. I've a book you might find interesting.
It is titled The Bibles Greatest Stories. It is by Paul Roche. It is a "Mentor" book published by the Penguin Group. You might be able to find it where you are, 'cause there is a Penguin Books Australia Ltd, Ringwood, Victoria, Austalia.
It was first printed in 1990.
It has been a few years for me , but I think it is a good read if you are interested in doing a little relegious research.
cheers
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If you are going to buy a Bible, I would suggest avoiding the origonal King James Version. The language is somewhat difficult and it was translated by King James's poets from other translations. From the best I can recall, The Revised Standard Version is what most universities use, and I personally like the New American Standard Bible, w/ the Hebrew/Greek key word index. I like it because words like "hell" are underlined w/a reference #. At the end of the Bible is a list of these #'s w/ the corresponding word and a list of meanings. For example, the word "hell" is used in place of Hades, Gehenna, and Sheol. It allows for personal interpretation based on the actual meanings of the words. Anyway, after reading it i suspect you'll find that other than modern conveniences, our societies aren't so different.
OH yeah, I forgot. You can buy what's called "The One Year Bible". Instead of reading front to end, which can get very boring at times, it jumps between the old and new testments. Well, enjoy.
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TBritton
"Tis better to understand what you hate, than to hate what you don't understand."
 
Try the Good News Bible, it's written in down to Earth terms and before each chapter it gives you a synopsis and how it affects our lives in these times.
 
Thanks everyone for all your help. I think it's an important thing to note that I only want to read the Bible to expand my horizons slightly? Or just for some good ol' fashioned entertainment. I'm not looking for enlightnement...just a new book to read.
Then again, maybe I'm making this small disclaimer because I'm slightly worried that it might make a huge dramatic effect on how I live my life.
I don't think so. But you can't rule out any minor possibilties can you?
and next will be the Koran followed by a bit of Judaism, maybe some Buddhism, some Hindu. I dunno, I just know that I know FAR too little about religion. Perhaps this is my mission for the year 2000.
Mr Sticky...do you know much about the Crusades? I recently went out with a friend who is extremely interested in that era, Medieval times etc etc (in fact he used to play in an obscure Aussie band, once very popular in Europe
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called The Crusaders,LOL)
ANYWAY, he told me some pretty cool stuff, only thing is, I doubt I'll ever see him again...for one reason or another. Do you reckon you could point me in the right direction there? I mean, what texts to maybe look at? Ta dahl.
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cheers boys and girls
mona.
 
I only know a little of the Crusades...more about Knights of the Rosy Cross/Templar/Rosicrucians. You have to search a bit for stuff on them. Much of their history seems to be in bits and pieces of different books. Sometimes you have to go to fictional books that refer to historical documentation on them such as Umberto Eco's Foucault's Pendulum, very heady stuff and sometimes a little difficult to read. BTW, I have no idea if I spelled the name or the book correctly. If you want slightly freakier fiction with some of this info, check out Robert Anton Wilson's The Illuminatus Trilogy(fnord). Funny, schizophrenic, ocassional bitting satire, and general strangeness...I love his stuff(fnord).
The Knights are tied up into the Illuminati conspiracies as well (they supposedly went underground, even rumored to be the keepers of the Holy Grail), whether any of it is true is irrelevant, but sometimes searching from that end will bring up more information(fnord).
Do an internet search from a friend's computer, buy anything you find on somebody else's credit card, then have it sent to another friend's house(fnord). No point drawing too much attention to yourself...the conspiracies may be real(fnord).
Sorry I can't give you more books of legitimate historical references, but this was something I was a bit more into about 8 years ago, and I've burned out a fair chunk of my brain on drugs since then...but maybe it's those damned black helicopters pumping ELF waves into my head(fnord).
I've got to go...I may have said to much already...
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(fnord).
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I can't stand the itching but I don't mind the swelling...
[This message has been edited by Mr. Sticky (edited 12 January 2000).]
 
mona mona mona you could read the bible but it wsa written a long time ago in a civilisation that has just about nothing to do with ours, so its kind of hard to put in to context. thats what every single religion (that uses the bible)has done -taken it out of context. so what you need is a modern day bible...
try "conversations with God" by Neal Donald Walsh. there are three books to the series and believe me when i tell you they will totally open your mind expand your conscienous and start you on a whole new journey..
actually I think everybody in this whole world should read them, but each to their own path i suppose.
ok have fun and i'll see you in the fifth dimension!!
InfInIti
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...u'll c it when u believe it...
 
Infiniti,
Yes, yes, yes! Fantastic books! Read the new one "Friendship with God" and saw N. Walsh speak recently. Book is awesome - personal in the way Book 1 is. Walsh was a bit of a let down - really kind of "putting on a show". I'm an actor and I could see the work if you know what I mean. However, good lesson in don't confuse the message with the messenger. God I remember reading it that first time and thinking "FINALLY!". You know what I mean?
Love and Peace,
Guru Daddy
 
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