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Are Psychedelics just not for me?

Seven-One-Eight

Seven-One-Eight

Bluelighter
Joined
Apr 29, 2010
Messages
118
Location
Brooklyn, NY
What's up BL. Over the past year or so, I've been experimenting with different psychs, mainly mushrooms and LSD. My first ever trip was on 4 grams of shrooms. It was definitely awe-inspiring, but also quite overwhelming. Overall though it was quite enjoyable, so I thought I would try it again a few weeks later. This time, however,I had a horrifying trip. It was one of those trips where the most horrific feelings of loneliness and hopelessness just overtake you. You feel like no one can understand you and the whole time you just find yourself questioning whether or not you will make it back to sanity ever again. I was with a group of people of whom I wasn't relatively close with, so I attributed this "bad trip" to that.

The problem now is that each time I trip, I feel as if everyone is looking at every move I make. I don't even need to be in the presence of other people; I'll just always end up thinking about what I look like in the eyes of others. I'm a pretty self-conscious person to begin with, and the psychs bring that self-consciousness to a whole new level. These trips aren't frightening like the second trip I described, but they always leave me questioning myself - literally questioning everything I have ever done in my life. I feel like a worthless piece of shit during these types of trips basically. I start to think of the most random things that wouldn't concern me normally (like, for example, what my parents would think of me if they knew I used drugs, even though I couldn't give two shits sober).

So my question to BL stands. Are psychs not for me? Or are these substances trying to tell me something about myself that I should try to work on?
 
for one thing, the substance cannot tell you anything. but your subconscious definitely might be trying to nudge you.

do you have close friends IRL? sounds like you need to work out some of your anxiety or self-consciousness with a good listener.
 
Yeah, I guess that's sort of what I meant, my subconscious trying to tell me something. And yeah I've talked to friends about this a lot actually. Talking does help but I stil feel the same way pretty much = /
 
well i've personally felt the same during a trip (over-analyzing, what would parents/role models think, etc) and the anxiety didn't go away until the later parts of a trip when i could assemble thoughts about what i thought i was doing with my life.

do you have short term goals? long term goals? school? work? love life?

by activating the subconscious mind, psychedelics have the power to make us realize things about ourselves that we "couldn't give two shits sober", especially the really scary things like thinking about our future plans from the perspectives of those people who mean the most to us.

one of my more memorable trips started with horrible self-loathing and a need to call my girlfriend because i didn't like how i was treating myself and my relationship with her.
 
greenmeanies said:
well i've personally felt the same during a trip (over-analyzing, what would parents/role models think, etc) and the anxiety didn't go away until the later parts of a trip when i could assemble thoughts about what i thought i was doing with my life.

do you have short term goals? long term goals? school? work? love life?

by activating the subconscious mind, psychedelics have the power to make us realize things about ourselves that we "couldn't give two shits sober", especially the really scary things like thinking about our future plans from the perspectives of those people who mean the most to us.

one of my more memorable trips started with horrible self-loathing and a need to call my girlfriend because i didn't like how i was treating myself and my relationship with her.
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I think you hit it on the head when you mentioned short/long term goals, and the future in general. I mean I'm 18 right now, going to a really good college, but I have absolutely no idea what I want to do in the future, and that scares the shit out of me. I've always been a bit of a loner as well throughout life, which I'm not exactly ecstatic about. These topics are always what I think about during a trip, so I guess I have to get my life in order and figure out a bunch of shit. If I'm interpreting these trips correctly, my problem is that I've been avoiding / covering up these problems for too long.
 
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exactly. try to think of who your role models are and why you elevate them to that status. are there things you are passionate about? things you want to change about the world? remember that your life has not been written yet, and you are always the one in control.
 
Awww dude sounds like no reason why you shouldn't be doing psychedelics at all - just not recreationally at the moment I guess.

I'm kinda at the same stage in my life, where the only psychs I would feel comfortable with doing in social situations more than "just a few friends tripping and hanging out" are 2C-B and 2C-I, the former because it has a much softer suggestive edge to it than say psilocybin, LSD, 2C-E or 4-AcO-DMT that I've tried.

I had similar experiences with my weed smoking so cut that down a lot until when I really sort out my self confidence issues - sounds like you should do the same, just take a nice long break, clear your head and work things out.

Then when you do take psychs again, you'll feel much more comfortable I can guarantee. :)

Peace
 
utilize the knoledge being presented, use the self-reflection to your advantage and make applications to everyday life
 
It sounds like, as others have been suggesting, that you need to work out the issues you have in your life right now. It seems like, as a result of your psychedelic experiences and self-reflection, you've become consciously aware of what you need to work on in your life to feel more comfortable with yourself.

Psychedelics are best used for self-reflection, though they can be fun for recreation as well. They bring to the surface all the things you've been thinking inside and hiding from yourself. The types of trips you're having definitely indicate to me that you're not confident in yourself. And also, tripping with a group of people is tough sometimes even if you ARE close to them because the social interactions become much more intense. When you're NOT close with them, it's a recipe for a negative experience, and a negative experience can make you afraid of another negative experience. If you are able to work out ways to feel more comfortable with yourself and feel good about the direction of your life, and make sure to pay attention to set and setting (mental state and the situation that you trip in), and take an appropriate dose, you should be able to have a beautiful and enriching trip in the future.

Good luck! :)
 
my wife freaks out on psychedelics, very paranoid, over analyses everything and just gets herself in state - i think she has pretty much given up even trying now. did try easing things by adding some benzos to start in an attempt to reduce her anxiety but they didnt help. only happens with psychs, no other worries out here in the real world, tripping just isnt her thing.
 
If I were you, I'd try something a bit more gentle like some cacti. Something to ease your way into the process. 2cb could be an alternative. Very pleasant. Some call it "Psychedelic Candy" because it's very gentle, but very visual.
 
Yeah I have about the same observations that everyone else stated. It is not that psychedelics are not for you. Internally you are not happy with being so self conscious and you might feel like this is holding you back. This is materializing because obviously you feel that you really need to work on this. I suggest the next time this comes up in a trip really analyze every feeling you have and then begin to ask why you should care so much, so if you cannot completely work through the problem with analyzation you can at least come to terms with the reasons you become self conscious and begin to accept it and tone it down a bit.
 
You seem like a rational, sensible, balanced and intelligent young adult to me, Seven. Let me just say that most 18 year-olds here on BL don't carry the same attention to their grammar or even their logic some times. :P

I don't see any reason why you shouldn't be able to handle psychedelics. Perhaps just not recreationally at this given time. It seems they have already helped to teach you some things about yourself (Notably about your self-confidence). You did start with a rather large dose (4g mushrooms, assuming they are dried). This can be overwhelming to say the least for a newbie.

I suggest you reflect on the issues that were brought up by this stirring of the psyche, sort out the confusion and integrate the experiences before you set foot again towards another psycho-adventure. And perhaps try smaller doses at first and work your way upwards.

You'll be fine.

Be safe and happy trails!
 
"So my question to BL stands. Are psychs not for me?" there is no logical reason why psychs would be suitable for everyone . and why should anyone believe them to be ?
 
I usually trip by myself. If you're really looking to explore the psychedelic mindstate without anxiety caused by social situations, remove the social part. In the spirit of harm reduction, I consider psychic pain to be harm as well, I say take a low dosage of psychedelics by yourself on a beautiful day or at nighttime...day/night & indoor/outdoor tripping all have their merits.
 
I disagree with those suggesting to take a less anxious psychedelic or to just do it in a better setting (although you should be in a better setting whenever you next trip). I think you need to work on finding out why you are having this confidence issue and work on getting over it. Doing this while tripping might help, but you should go into the trip specifically to deal with this; regard it as primarily therapeutic rather than recreational. It is important that even if you do this while tripping that you carry over what you learned and put that knowledge to use in your sober life. Do not trip for fun until you get over this issue, or it will keep popping up. Once you move past this confidence issue, by all means trip if you want. You may learn of more important issues with the help of psychedelics. ;)
 
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Great Q and following conversation. I have felt exactly like you before and am glad to hear some imput from others. wish i had read this chat about 5 years ago.
 
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