• MDMA &
    Empathogenic
    Drugs

    Welcome Guest!

Anyone else feel really guilty after they roll?

W

wee_nu

Greenlighter
Joined
Jun 20, 2010
Messages
8
Not everytime, but quite often when I roll, I can't seem to shake a lurking feeling of guilt afterwards. I think about how my parents would react if they found out I was doing it (I'm 22, we have a close relationship, they're very anti-drugs). I mean its not overwhelming and it doesn't stop me from doing pills, its just something that creeps into my mind a bit after.

Does anyone else get this? Not necessarily because of parents, but just in general because well, it is illegal and it is messing with our brains and putting chemicals in our bodies.
 
Well it is mainly the neurotransmitter depletion you are experiencing but i am sure most people get a little of that after they roll. When you roll the first few days after you may dwell on those thoughts but it usually clears up for the most part after a full week. 5htp should help boost your mood and get your thought process on a positive track quicker, i would definitely recommend taking it the first 3 days after rolling.
 
Nah like, its separate from the depression you get on a comedown. I'm pretty good and giving myself a talking to about feeling low, telling myself its just because of the drug and I'll be fine tomorrow, it doesn't really bother me. The guilt exists before I roll too, like in the week leading up to a night out or something, I dunno, I just feel bad that I'm about to do it!
 
Hm i feel you because i actually took a 9 month break and am going to be dropping soon at an event. The feelings of guilt and stuff i am having even before the roll is only because i know i will be depleting a ton of neurotransmitters. I don't know but the only bad feelings i have about rolling is having to wait for the recovery process which takes long.. This means increased anxiety, slowed cognitive response and depression. These are the things i worry about and feel guilty about when I'm going to be rolling again. But this is exactly why i took such a huge break and will probably have a long ass gap before my next drop, i just can't deal with all those negative side effects so often. But I get where your coming from, and trust me I bet most mdma users get it to, even if they are moderate users. It comes with the territory, not speaking for everyone though.
 
My gf doesn't use drugs at all, but she doesn't mind that I do occasionally. I was rolling last night while hanging out with her, and near the end of the night she didn't want me to redose, but wanting to avoid the comedown I did anyways. She wasn't upset with me, but I feel really guilty about it now. Especially considering she isn't very educated in the subject, so she thought I was at risk of overdosing.
 
I've felt that guilt at times, more so in the past when I was younger and using drugs heavily. I now feel that I'm responsible for my own life and should be able to make my own decisions, whether or not others agree with it.
 
It's the guilt from overindulging.

On MDMA you might have more sex than you normally would (or masturbate more). You might do drugs to supplement the MDMA high that you normally moderate or abstain from. You feel incredibly high on life and it's an overwhelming feeling sometimes.

When it is over you feel like you have lived a little much.

Apart from that, I do think it's your family's anti-drug sentiments and your comedown that contributes to this feeling.
 
I've suffered from this too, but I think it has a lot more to do with the feeling that you've violated a social taboo than it does with the effects of the drug itself. Being a drug user is a difficult thing; not only do you have to weather the physiological ups and downs of fluctuating neurotransmitter levels, receptor sensitivity, etc. but you also have to deal with the stigma of the term "drug user". You're forced to live a double life, something that never inspires confidence. :\

Being a responsible drug user is more than simply following a list of guidelines about safe use, in my opinion. It's putting yourself in control of your use: reminding yourself that you're mature enough to assess the risks and benefits and choose for yourself, being strong enough to resist the ill-informed and caustic opinions of others, and being clear-headed enough to see the warning signs of abuse and change your behavior accordingly. It's kind of tough to stick to this, because there are plenty of people (both abstainers and ex-abusers) who will tell you that "responsible drug use" is an illusion.

Just my two cents. Also, a little groggy, so my apologies if this doesn't make huge amounts of sense. 8(
 
Wow I feel like I must be a horrible person or something cuz I have never felt guilty for using drugs. I feel like I am an adult, I take care of myself, pay taxes, etc. so if I want to use drugs every once in awhile that's my perogative.

Also, I believe that so many americans are addicted to pharmaceuticals these days that there really isn't that big of a difference. Does it make it ok if some Dr. writes out a prescription? So the lady down the street messes with her mood and brain chemicals every day by taking anti-depressants, I instead self medicate with one dose of MDMA a month... in the longrun I'll probably lead a better quality of life. At least I can function daily without having to pop an anti-depressant every single day, to the point of addiction, and I don't live my life completly numb a walking zombie like so many others.
 
I used to until I realized that the only reason I felt bad was because we are taught to think it's bad in our culture. Fuck that, if you are a full functioning responsible adult who is educated in the risks of taking E, go for it!
 
Negative, you have no idea about the opiate game mate.

Trust me, MDMA is nothing to feel guilty about, it's a beautiful thing.
 
I think this really depends on your age and circumstances - I personally never feel guilty about anything. Its my life, Im living it the way I want - if you want to be part of it then great your welcome, if you want to judge me or impose your believes/restraints on something you dont understand then STFU already.
 
I actually get really nervous before I drop. I always drop like 15 minutes after the rest of my friends. Mixed in those nervous feelings is a little smidgen of guilt, but once I drop I always think back once it hits me and think "Why the fuck didn't I want to do this?"
 
I don't think I feel guilty per se. I'm a functioning adult who pays her bills and taxes on time. I also believe in the right to put what I want into my own body and don't feel that the government has any right at all to "save" me.

What I do feel guilty about is lazing around afterward. I feel like I waste days after using various drugs because it drains my motivation and I don't always like the feeling of laying on the couch in my jammies all day. I like feeling like I'm accomplishing something. Its sort of a strange situation haha
 
I used to get this alot towards the end of my MDMA (ab)using days.. Turned into paranoia pretty quickly and fckin harshly..

Most of the reasons i felt guilty weren't really that big a deal.. but in that mind state of altered (lowered) neuro-transmitters they become the worst thing in the world.. incomes paranoia and bam.. you hate yourself.. your diagnosed with severe depression and general anxiety disorder..

Other things might have (probably did) play a part in this.. and i did abuse MDMA to the max so..
 
Never felt guilty even a little bit. Alcohol is a drug but its socially acceptable and legal so I guess that's why people think that it is morally superior to E or whatever other drug. Brush off the social stigma and maybe you won't feel so guilty about your use.
 
I don't think I've ever felt guilty about rolling for the reasons you mentioned, but I have felt guilty a few times about rolling when I wasn't supposed to :] lol
I lied about it a few times too, which made my conscience feel even more guilty.
Besides those times, I never felt regret about anything really that I've done, even non-drug related. Live and learn.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top