Anxiety/Lack of Motivation

[Drench]

Hi guys, I'm suffering a bit at the moment. I'm having bad anxiety feelings both mental & physical, lack of motivation to do anything productive/helpful, low self esteem, major worries about Pregabalin (Lyrica) problem.

Right, quick background - I'm 22, male, quiet and shy, anti-social, overweight, tapering off Valium (8mg/day), smoke weed sometimes (not daily, i'm trying to stop it all together), don't do any other drugs regularly except Pregabalin.

I work 5 days a week and deal with lots of people every day but I'm anxious when I serve each person and I'm crap at making casual conversation with people.

I do around 1-2g Pregabalin a day but I can take 375mg a day if I choose and feel fine but I can't go without it for more than a few days without sweating loads, feeling incredibly anxious, getting painful leg cramps, cant sleep etc.

I've thought of several things causing my anxiety - Valium taper, Ex-Heavy Weed Smoker, Negative body image, Pregabalin use.

The taper is going fine and there is nothing I can do about that and I'm recovering my mind/memory after smoking around 3.5g (1/8th) of weed a day for 3 years.

I want to give up the Pregabalin but I'm scared of bringing it up with my doctor because I know he'll be pissed off with me and I don't know if he'll help. I don't have the will power to plan a taper myself.

My negative body image is mainly caused by me being overweight which is something im slowly trying to sort out, I was bullied a bit in school which took quite a lot out of me all in all.

I've had people try and help me before telling me to try and get out for a walk each day and to eat healthier but when I'm not working I feel lazy as fuck and I love my food, the pregs also cause weight gain.

I feel like I always need a high, whether its benzos, pregs, opi's, weed, pyschs, stims etc although I don't do extra benzos and I try to avoid opi's and weed. I've never had a problem with pyschs or stims. Dexedrine makes me feel 'normal', happy, talkative, confident, full of energy etc but I know it's not a solution. I don't abuse stims, around a year ago I got quite bad with Mephredrone but that's long gone.

Also, when I was drunk around 2 months ago I cut myself for the first time ever, I regret it a lot as you can still clearly see the scars on my hand and it just isn't 'me'.

Does anyone have any ideas or comments?

 

[villian]

I'd just like to start by saying I can totally empathize with you on the anxiety and lack of motivation thing. I'm also an ex everyday weed smoker and am off benzos myself

First off, you say you take 1-2g of Lyrica a day but you can make it on 375 - how much are you actually scripted per day? I'd like to encourage you to try to stay at 375 a day because it will make it much easier for you in the long run.

How much longer on the diazepam taper? I agree your doctor probably won't be cooperative in getting you off the Lyrica at the moment, and I'm guessing it's probably prescribed as a adjunct to the benzo taper? In my opinion, your best bet is to stay on the Lyrica until your taper is finished, and possibly even a little bit after your taper ends before tapering down the Lyrica -- the thing you should focus on now is getting to the lowest daily dose of Lyrica that is helping you, 1g+ is alot..

As far as your negative body image, the answer to this one really is diet and exercise.

Walking is a good start. I know you said you don't have the motivation, but the thing about exercise is after you start doing it every day it starts making you feel better. If you can force yourself to be active every day for a couple weeks, in my experience you will start feeling bad on the days you don't work out.

Feeling better truly does involve some lifestyle changes, it is hard but if you take some small steps over time you can achieve a lot over a period of a few months or a year.

You are going to have to look at your diet at well. Start small -- how about you cut out sugary drinks? This can save you a lot of calories and it isn't too hard of a first step.

You mentioned you want to be high everyday. This is because you aren't happy with your life. Once you make some positive changes it will become easier and easier to enjoy life for what it is and without needed chemicals to make it better.

Hope this helped a bit..

 

[Drench]

Thanks

I'm not actually prescribed Pregabalin, I get it from other sources. I can start maybe slowly reducing my daily dosage from 375 to 300 etc, that would be good :D

With the Valium I'm reducing from 8mg, 1mg per month now. So in 8 months time I'll be off them.

I've got to work on my exercise/diet routine, it will take a while but i'm confident that I can do it in time.

I just took 45mg Mirtazapine, 15mg Zopiclone and a couple of extra Valiums (also had a few strong beers), I just want to numb my emotions, reduce my anxiety and get a great nights sleep.

You've helped villian, thanks

 

[Lolie]

Getting stuff done doesn't require feeling motivated to do it. If you wait until you feel motivated to do stuff, you'll probably never get around to it.

Medication is really only a bridge when it comes to anxiety and depression - something to help you keep them at tolerable levels while you learn better ways to manage them - so look into non-drug stress and anxiety management techniques.

 

[drminaq]

I myself am going through a Clonazepam taper from 8mg's a day.
I have tried every antidepressant with the except of the MAOI's with no significant difference in mood or anxiety. In the spring I began tapering of the 375 mg of effexor I was taking. However, once I started decreasing my dose I just started to fell better and better. I am diagnosed with ADD and have serious motivational issues that have basically destroyed every aspect of life for me. It wasn't feeling of the effects of my ADD medication Vyvanse while I was taking Effexor.
I have never heard of pregablin and dont know how it works. Now as winter sets in and my fear and anxiety is waiting to come in from the cold. I am seriously considering Cymbalta, the Black Sheep of Antidepressants, due to its high rates of discontinuation syndrome and all other side effects.
I was also told by my psychiatrist that Cymbalta should not interact in with D amph (AKA Vyvanse).
However even at the starting dose of 30 mg of Cymbalta I started last week I feel that the vyvanse is not doing what it once did and is at a level that is almost pre-cognitive. I guess I should stop the Cymbalta while I am ahead?
I never noticed any improvement in any of my time on S/NSRIs what am I doing going back to them?
I have noticed that opiates are the only effective anti-depressants for me.
OP sorry to hijack this thread I hope you are surviving your experience of discomfort with some ease. Good Luck
i guess the decrease in Clonazepam is a large factor.

 

[nanksta]

resort to drugs no only kidding

 

[ErikTheRed]

If you lack motivation maybe you should consider a different career path, one that you're genuinely interested in. You're young, you have the time to find your niche in the world.

Find an outlet for your stress. You're already exercising. Pick up a hobby that interests you, even another type of exercise. Start volunteering or other activities that help others. All of these help your self esteem and make you feel like a better person with a full life. These activites could replace the need to constantly do drugs and are a great way to build your social confidence. Not to mention boredom is a huge trigger to use for me. Keep tapering, benzos are a short term solution, creating a satisfying life will last.

Anything worth doing, isn't easy.

I'm in the same situation as you and doing the activities which I mentioned above. Things are looking up.

 

[Drench]

Thanks guys, your help is invaluable

I've recently landed a job that I enjoy and find challenging (in a good way), I'm only doing short hours while I'm training but things are looking up. I get 20 mins exercise most days on the way to work and back (40 mins total), it helps wake me up in the morning and is a good energy/stress release after work.

Damn, if only opiates didn't take over your life so much I could happily get by with a few lines of smoke :D I can take it or leave it although I do get urges sometimes, not a problem like the benzos were or the Pregabalin is though.

It's 01:37am and I've got work this morning, better go to bed!

 

[3dmusic]

Hi guys, I'm suffering a bit at the moment. I'm having bad anxiety feelings both mental & physical, lack of motivation to do anything productive/helpful, low self esteem, major worries about Pregabalin (Lyrica) problem.

Right, quick background - I'm 22, male, quiet and shy, anti-social, overweight, tapering off Valium (8mg/day), smoke weed sometimes (not daily, i'm trying to stop it all together), don't do any other drugs regularly except Pregabalin.

I work 5 days a week and deal with lots of people every day but I'm anxious when I serve each person and I'm crap at making casual conversation with people.

I do around 1-2g Pregabalin a day but I can take 375mg a day if I choose and feel fine but I can't go without it for more than a few days without sweating loads, feeling incredibly anxious, getting painful leg cramps, cant sleep etc.

I've thought of several things causing my anxiety - Valium taper, Ex-Heavy Weed Smoker, Negative body image, Pregabalin use.

The taper is going fine and there is nothing I can do about that and I'm recovering my mind/memory after smoking around 3.5g (1/8th) of weed a day for 3 years.

I want to give up the Pregabalin but I'm scared of bringing it up with my doctor because I know he'll be pissed off with me and I don't know if he'll help. I don't have the will power to plan a taper myself.

My negative body image is mainly caused by me being overweight which is something im slowly trying to sort out, I was bullied a bit in school which took quite a lot out of me all in all.

I've had people try and help me before telling me to try and get out for a walk each day and to eat healthier but when I'm not working I feel lazy as fuck and I love my food, the pregs also cause weight gain.

I feel like I always need a high, whether its benzos, pregs, opi's, weed, pyschs, stims etc although I don't do extra benzos and I try to avoid opi's and weed. I've never had a problem with pyschs or stims. Dexedrine makes me feel 'normal', happy, talkative, confident, full of energy etc but I know it's not a solution. I don't abuse stims, around a year ago I got quite bad with Mephredrone but that's long gone.

Also, when I was drunk around 2 months ago I cut myself for the first time ever, I regret it a lot as you can still clearly see the scars on my hand and it just isn't 'me'.

Does anyone have any ideas or comments?

First of all, I would check this out as its important.
I think pregablin works on the same receptors as benzos (GABA receptors) and may actualy be inhibiting your recovery and taper, by keeping the GABA receptors from working properly, whereby your valium taper is helping them to begin working properly.
Surf the web for info and tell your doc this.
Also, if you are drinking alcoho, stop that, as that too works on the same receptors and can make withdrawal from valium worse.
I dont know how quick you are tapering, but it is recommended that you cut your dose every 14-21 days, and make sure that the cut is between 5 and 10 percent of the dose you are cutting from.
For example, I am cutting by 0.5mg valium every three weeks, and I was using this same cut amount 0.5mg when I was on 8mg. Now on 6.5.
You might want to join a benzo forum for help and support with benzos.
There is also a helpful site called www.bataid.org you can read through. If you are in the UK you can use their services too.
1mg cuts will be too much for your GABA to readjust itself, as its more than 10%. As you get lower in the dose, you need to make smaller cuts, as making the same size cuts will shock your system, and you will have a longer PAWS period.

For anyone tapering benzos it is important that you stay away from any drug, herb, or alcohol that acts on GABA receptors, as they will just serve to make the withdrawal worse, even though they may con you into thinking you feel better at the time, you will pay later.

Taper only one drug at a time.
I have got all of my knowledge as I am a benzo addict, but I'm no expert, so I would urge you to visit the benzo forums as they have experts on there who do know more than doctors. Doctors are spectacularly clueless on benzo withdrawal

Good luck