not worth knowing
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Jan 15, 2022
- Messages
- 34
Hello. I was active on here around 10 years ago, when my drug use was pretty much only psychedelics and drugs were a way to enrichen my life rather than escaping it.
Since then I've had a pretty bad streak of poor mental health and a bit of social isolation, and four or five years ago I turned to opiates for relief, spent a good while thinking I had complete control until it became painfully obvious I didn't.
I was hiding my use from everyone and I can't believe how no one figured out what was going on since I was a mess pretty often. I did a couple attempts at quitting on my own, thinking I could be rid of that monkey and get back to normal without anyone ever knowing.
This did not work for more than a month at a time, and last year I came clean with my fiancée and eventually more and more of my friends and family. My s/o knowing was of course the biggest factor in my rehabilitation. We did (and are still doing) home urine testing so she can regain trust and I have some extra pressure/motivation to stay clean. I've had some relapses, but I guess that's to be expected. None have been more than two consecutive days of use. Of course this has disappointed my s/o and I'm really ashamed about the whole thing.
I began ketamine treatment for my depression and addiction in November, and while it hasn't been the miracle cure one could have hoped for I'm definitely feeling results. The urge to escape through drugs takes up much less space in my thoughts, and I'm motivated to do the needed work to make this much clearer state of mind a lasting thing.
While I've been hooked on dope I've been studying at the university, and although my "situation" has definitely had an impact on my grades and I'm delayed two years due to sickness and failed exams, I'll be a librarian before summer. Stoked to finally be ready to get on with a new kind of life.
I'm back on here because I want to discuss addiction, psychedelic therapy and recreational psychedelic use.
Hope you're all having a good day
Since then I've had a pretty bad streak of poor mental health and a bit of social isolation, and four or five years ago I turned to opiates for relief, spent a good while thinking I had complete control until it became painfully obvious I didn't.
I was hiding my use from everyone and I can't believe how no one figured out what was going on since I was a mess pretty often. I did a couple attempts at quitting on my own, thinking I could be rid of that monkey and get back to normal without anyone ever knowing.
This did not work for more than a month at a time, and last year I came clean with my fiancée and eventually more and more of my friends and family. My s/o knowing was of course the biggest factor in my rehabilitation. We did (and are still doing) home urine testing so she can regain trust and I have some extra pressure/motivation to stay clean. I've had some relapses, but I guess that's to be expected. None have been more than two consecutive days of use. Of course this has disappointed my s/o and I'm really ashamed about the whole thing.
I began ketamine treatment for my depression and addiction in November, and while it hasn't been the miracle cure one could have hoped for I'm definitely feeling results. The urge to escape through drugs takes up much less space in my thoughts, and I'm motivated to do the needed work to make this much clearer state of mind a lasting thing.
While I've been hooked on dope I've been studying at the university, and although my "situation" has definitely had an impact on my grades and I'm delayed two years due to sickness and failed exams, I'll be a librarian before summer. Stoked to finally be ready to get on with a new kind of life.
I'm back on here because I want to discuss addiction, psychedelic therapy and recreational psychedelic use.
Hope you're all having a good day
