Doc.Jones
Bluelighter
I knew this girl many years ago. She was the softest most king hearted girl I had ever met in my
existence. Her movement was as gentle as a spring breeze, and her intentions were as pure. She
was only a child, but she held more knowledge that many knew. She had been gifted, but there
were very few who saw her gift. Her purpose was to bring happiness, and insight to those around
her, and she did this well.
As I grew I watched her grow as well. The softness in her eyes seemed to fade just a little
with each passing year. The world was showing this helpless child just how cold, and crewel it
could be. She like the rest of us began to build walls around the thing most precious to her, her
heart. The only way to protect herself was to not share her gifts with anyone. She was too
vulnerable to the world to show her soft side to anyone.
A once beautiful child she now wore a mask of strength, and negativity. With this new
attitude she dared the people she encountered to get in her head. What was she thinking, and what
was she capable of. I asked her once why she had done this to herself, why she had turned herself
ugly to the world. Why she would destroy such a unique, and beautiful individual. She had said it
was because she was scared, and that she lived with fear every day. The worst thing was that she
had to face her biggest fear every morning starring back at her from a mirror.
One day this new tough little girl met a man, and it was not just any man, he was the only
man alive. He was exactly what she had been looking for a catalyst for her own emotion. Someone
she could learn from, and take care of. Most of all he was someone for her to love. This young
man took her in her arms, and began to help her break through the walls she had built in her
consciousness. With each passing day for a year she let him into her mind, body, and soul. She
became more vulnerable than she had ever been in her life. She let this man mold her into what he
wanted her to be giving no thought to what she was feeling inside.
I began to worry about her. I tried to help, but she was stuck, and for another year she did
as she was told, and took care of this man who she had convinced herself she loved. The walls once again
began to go up, but not the same ones, and not for the same reasons. Someone who she let close
to her, someone she had trusted had betrayed her. He had taken the one thing she held dear, and
tore it into little pieces. He did this with little knowledge of his actions, and no remorse. He had
his fun, and had now lost interest, and cast her aside like a child would a toy he had broken. That
is what she was broken.
With her spirits low, and her confidence diminished she decided to do something positive
for herself, and something that would get her as far away of the memory of him as possible. I was
gong to this little college in northern Vermont in the fall, and she decided she would give it a shot.
With only a GED she had low expectations, but with a little luck she got accepted.
This was a chance to start over. She had lost herself in other peoples dreams for so long
that she had forgotten her own. Once again she didn’t like the person she saw in the mirror, but
this time she had an idea of who she wanted to be. With her head held high she packed her car
with all possessions important to her, and silently left out of town. This was it no turning back.
From day one these wonderful people started walking into her life. They were kind to her,
and they reminded her that their was still goodness in the world. Each had something special to
teach her, and with each lesson she reflected upon herself. With out knowledge these people had
opened a door for this girl. She got up every morning with a renewed sense of life, and an idea about the
kind of people she wanted in her life. For the first time in more than five years she was really
happy, and content with who she was, and her situation. I still see her now again, and for the first
time in years I can see that little girl in her eyes.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Thank you to all those people who have touched my life, and allowed me to touch theirs.
------------------
Take me as I am, and expect nothing more
existence. Her movement was as gentle as a spring breeze, and her intentions were as pure. She
was only a child, but she held more knowledge that many knew. She had been gifted, but there
were very few who saw her gift. Her purpose was to bring happiness, and insight to those around
her, and she did this well.
As I grew I watched her grow as well. The softness in her eyes seemed to fade just a little
with each passing year. The world was showing this helpless child just how cold, and crewel it
could be. She like the rest of us began to build walls around the thing most precious to her, her
heart. The only way to protect herself was to not share her gifts with anyone. She was too
vulnerable to the world to show her soft side to anyone.
A once beautiful child she now wore a mask of strength, and negativity. With this new
attitude she dared the people she encountered to get in her head. What was she thinking, and what
was she capable of. I asked her once why she had done this to herself, why she had turned herself
ugly to the world. Why she would destroy such a unique, and beautiful individual. She had said it
was because she was scared, and that she lived with fear every day. The worst thing was that she
had to face her biggest fear every morning starring back at her from a mirror.
One day this new tough little girl met a man, and it was not just any man, he was the only
man alive. He was exactly what she had been looking for a catalyst for her own emotion. Someone
she could learn from, and take care of. Most of all he was someone for her to love. This young
man took her in her arms, and began to help her break through the walls she had built in her
consciousness. With each passing day for a year she let him into her mind, body, and soul. She
became more vulnerable than she had ever been in her life. She let this man mold her into what he
wanted her to be giving no thought to what she was feeling inside.
I began to worry about her. I tried to help, but she was stuck, and for another year she did
as she was told, and took care of this man who she had convinced herself she loved. The walls once again
began to go up, but not the same ones, and not for the same reasons. Someone who she let close
to her, someone she had trusted had betrayed her. He had taken the one thing she held dear, and
tore it into little pieces. He did this with little knowledge of his actions, and no remorse. He had
his fun, and had now lost interest, and cast her aside like a child would a toy he had broken. That
is what she was broken.
With her spirits low, and her confidence diminished she decided to do something positive
for herself, and something that would get her as far away of the memory of him as possible. I was
gong to this little college in northern Vermont in the fall, and she decided she would give it a shot.
With only a GED she had low expectations, but with a little luck she got accepted.
This was a chance to start over. She had lost herself in other peoples dreams for so long
that she had forgotten her own. Once again she didn’t like the person she saw in the mirror, but
this time she had an idea of who she wanted to be. With her head held high she packed her car
with all possessions important to her, and silently left out of town. This was it no turning back.
From day one these wonderful people started walking into her life. They were kind to her,
and they reminded her that their was still goodness in the world. Each had something special to
teach her, and with each lesson she reflected upon herself. With out knowledge these people had
opened a door for this girl. She got up every morning with a renewed sense of life, and an idea about the
kind of people she wanted in her life. For the first time in more than five years she was really
happy, and content with who she was, and her situation. I still see her now again, and for the first
time in years I can see that little girl in her eyes.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Thank you to all those people who have touched my life, and allowed me to touch theirs.
------------------
Take me as I am, and expect nothing more
