TDS Another failed attempt at sobriety

[25I_am_so_wonderfu]

I've been trying to stay clean of alcohol, weed and spice at the very least until I graduate college. But I find myself again unable to put the bottle down. It's like I'm too ADHD to even what to finish the higher level classes that don't interest me at all. Drinking is so much more interesting than writing papers in for those disgustingly sterile college classes. I don't know why I just can't get my work done. And I feel so lonely that I think these substances are the only ones I can truly count on. I'm here drinking a Four Loko, feeling nostalgic, thinking about when I bought them as an underage college freshmen when they were just called Fours. The taste brings me back. People in my dorm had me buy all sorts of liquor because I could pass off as much older than I actually was. It made me feel important, needed and not invisible for once in my life. But they all eventually found other people to buy them alcohol, party with, connect with on deeper levels and abandoned me. And not matter what I feel like I've been left in the past and theres nothing I can do but sulk and reminisce and think about the "good times" when it all didn't seem like some form of self-abuse but instead, having fun with friends. I feel so angry with myself fooling myself into believing the people who were just using me were actually my friends and for fooling myself into thinking the examples of substance abuse they set were sustanable for me and it just makes me want to drink.

 

[Captain.Heroin]

Well first I wanted to say that you're not alone. Loneliness is a huge trigger for me and other people that I know.

The best advice I can give you is to get a small group of friends you can trust, who don't drink alcohol, so you can always have people in your life who are not only inspirational in the sense that they don't drink, but will also be there for you as time goes on.

Best of luck getting through college, and best of luck with quitting drinking and drugs.