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Alcohol And here we go again

ControlDaddy

ControlDaddy

Bluelighter
Joined
Mar 3, 2021
Messages
1,192
Location
New England
I bought a liter of potato juice yesterday. It seemed like it was the only way to get to sleep. I finally slept and that shit was deep. I was on a long, vivid post-apocalyptic planet, a desert planet, and all of the technology was old and deficient in some way.

I had enough methamp in my to keep me from blacking out.

Still I drank almost a whole liter of vodka last night. I’m about to finish it off with about three drinks worth in it and try to nap. A liter ain’t much of an issue, But I can already feel I will be going to the store tonight to buy another one. That’s always how this starts.
 
Nap was a bit brief. Three fingers left in bottle. A dram, nay a finger in my glass with some diet sunkist on top. Down the hatch! Can redose ETOH two times today before stores close. I don't think I will be able to wait it out. Going to start initial research on RC to experiment with. Will try to have materials ready for those so they are on hand the next time I want to do this, I can do that instead.

I also have a 4wd electric indoor RC car kit to build from scratch. I built an outdoor stadium truck from the same kind of kit, brand is Team Associated. Building the truck was mental, I even had to build my own ball bearings at 1/10 scale. That was what I was supposed be doing the "next time" I needed a diversion, the last time. Trouble is, my guy wanted to buy all my RC stuff in one go and gave me good cash price offer for it. He has my RC stuff now, we had a falling out, now I can't reach him and don't want to go muscle on him over them cause he is fucking short tempered and has poor impulse control. Gah.
 
for someone just outside the grips of alcoholism, i suggest laying off. usually after about a week you will feel better. i cant imagine drinking that much. 5-6 drink and im passed out.
 
Good advice mate, I'm trying. It is too much for my body and mind to handle at that level for very long, but it is less than the usual pattern of drinking a handle every day and moving up to double that over a week or two. I don't want to do that again though. I have found much relief in oversharing on bluelight since I joined a little over a week ago, and I am hoping that makes a difference this time.
 
i also take solace in over sharing feel free mate, and you can also pm me anytime if it gets too much. thats alot of alcohol, be careful man
 
I will brah, thank you. Still two fingers in the bottle and it is 5pm here. Trying to take it easy with the stims too. It would be ideal to get 4-5 hours asleep without the aid of alcohol. Wish I had benzos.
 
Zephyn said:
for someone just outside the grips of alcoholism, i suggest laying off. usually after about a week you will feel better. i cant imagine drinking that much. 5-6 drink and im passed out.
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I agree somewhat. I like the taste of vodka but I haven't drinken any since 15' and that was just a bottle. If I had more than a few drinks I'd feel terrible later when it wore off. Instead I've gone through over 100 cans (maybe 200) of beer already this year and I'm drinking more every day. The good thing though is that I don't feel shitty when I stop and I don't ever worry about withdrawals from beer

I've never had alcohol withdrawals but I was always a binge drinker and would drink beer everyday instead so I don't know how that works
 
the taste of vodka makes me gag. the 6 beers i just drunk were nasty and bitter high IBU, but enjoying the effects a lot more than liquor
 
Zephyn said:
the taste of vodka makes me gag. the 6 beers i just drunk were nasty and bitter high IBU, but enjoying the effects a lot more than liquor
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I love everything about all beers, even the ones that smell like feet. I only drink vodka because it is hard to detect. My landlady is wise to my alcoholism and I am not trying fuck with her right now.
 
Ok it is 3AM and I am not close to sleep. Liquor store opens in six hours. Firing up the Nintendo Switch. My plan is to wait out the night, grab a fifth, and come home and crash out all day, conserving half of the fifth to spread out through the night.

Sunday, hanging out with fellow BLer IRL. We will be doing something fun that isn't centered on drugs. I probably won't feel like drinking, because I won't feel bored and lonely. I may drink Sunday night. Monday morning I gotta be in good shape because I am meeting with my doctor again.

So far I am "getting away" with drinking again. That kind of thinking is a trap. Thanks everyone for chiming in.
 
ControlDaddy said:
So far I am "getting away" with drinking again. That kind of thinking is a trap. Thanks everyone for chiming in.
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it really is. cos every time you get away with it you push the boundary a bit more.

hanging out with an actual human being will be much better for you than drinking.

not that i can talk, i was not going to drink last night but did, am now hungover to fuck drinking solpadeine, my boyfriend is away for the night so somehow i am obliged to drink from the moment he leaves the house.... so will need more solpadeine tomorrow and will end up having to do a mini rattle cos kindling effect kicks my ass every time. and cos i know i will have a rattle anyway i might as well make it worth it and take enough codeine to actually feel it.
 
I thought you were going to get some seroquel today? I wouldn’t be surprised if 100 mg taken without alcohol and at normal bedtime deals with your post-meth binge insomnia.

It’s worth a try over a liter of vodka on my opinion.
 
Please be careful. With benzos, especially powerful RC's, you're either on them for life, or in for some pretty hellish misery. I'm sorry if it seems like I'm lecturing you. I just did the same thing buying hundreds of Etizolam pills, and regretting it.
 
chinup said:
hanging out with an actual human being will be much better for you than drinking.
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Yeah, the last time couple times we hung out we were using pretty hard. But we are both committed to not having a friendship based solely on drug use. And the next best thing to actual human contact is definitely bluelighting. Time flies when I am talking with smart people about drugs.

chinup said:
not that i can talk, i was not going to drink last night but did, am now hungover to fuck drinking solpadeine, my boyfriend is away for the night so somehow i am obliged to drink from the moment he leaves the house.... so will need more solpadeine tomorrow and will end up having to do a mini rattle cos kindling effect kicks my ass every time. and cos i know i will have a rattle anyway i might as well make it worth it and take enough codeine to actually feel it.
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Can you get codeine OTC over there? What is a rattle?
Atelier3 said:
I thought you were going to get some seroquel today? I wouldn’t be surprised if 100 mg taken without alcohol and at normal bedtime deals with your post-meth binge insomnia.

It’s worth a try over a liter of vodka on my opinion.
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I will get some seroquel on Monday. I was eager to get out of his office today.

Anybody on Playstation Network around here? My handle is badbeetle, HMU.
 
Bomb319 said:
Please be careful. With benzos, especially powerful RC's, you're either on them for life, or in for some pretty hellish misery. I'm sorry if it seems like I'm lecturing you. I just did the same thing buying hundreds of Etizolam pills, and regretting it.
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I have never had any issues with benzos until I overdosed last September. I wonder if that will change my relationship with them going forward. It is a good warning at just the right time, because I hadn't thought about that.I will check out your posts and get the bigger story. Thanks Bomb, nice to meet you.
 
ControlDaddy said:
Yeah, the last time couple times we hung out we were using pretty hard. But we are both committed to not having a friendship based solely on drug use. And the next best thing to actual human contact is definitely bluelighting. Time flies when I am talking with smart people about drugs.
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that is good, as long as you have something to actually talk about that isn't drugs!! and yeah i have been getting a lot of human contact via BL recently, love all you guys but can't wait until i can do in person stuff again!

ControlDaddy said:
Can you get codeine OTC over there? What is a rattle?
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you can only get it with either ibuprofen or paracetamol. you can technically do a CWE to get the paracetamol out but i can never be bothered. i have this theory that my liver is invincible cos when i was drinking and using benzos to the extent that my doctor stopped counting my weekly intake before we even got to the weekend and called it a disaster, my liver results came back fine. i know i know, this is awful harm reduction- well its harm causation really.

a rattle is withdrawals. cos i have had a long term smack habit, now taking any opiates at all puts me in withdrawals due to something called the kindling effect. its not as bad as a smack rattle, mostly lethargy, brain fog, and stomach problems, and usually done in 3 days, but its enough to make me useless.
 
ControlDaddy said:
I have never had any issues with benzos until I overdosed last September. I wonder if that will change my relationship with them going forward. It is a good warning at just the right time, because I hadn't thought about that.I will check out your posts and get the bigger story. Thanks Bomb, nice to meet you.
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You too man. Good luck! Stay safe, and use the Lifeline app if using huge amounts by yourself. Although everything I know about benzos tells me you're generally safe in OD as it's the only rug in your system. Even so, always start as small as possible with a new substance until you can get a feel for your tolerance :)
 
chinup said:
i have this theory that my liver is invincible cos when i was drinking and using benzos to the extent that my doctor stopped counting my weekly intake before we even got to the weekend and called it a disaster
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🤣 your doctor is funny! & hey my liver is also invincible. I have medical records to prove it. 650 BAC when admitted to the ICU. still walking, and able to talk a little, and I stayed conscious the whole time while they ran around thinking I was gonna die any second. I heard them say "induce coma" and I got out of the bed and tried to run for the exit, but couldn't really run and they managed to wrestle me back into the bed. three days later my liver function tested normal, so not too bad. alcohol has really brought me a lot of good times!
 
ha yeah he was a great doctor. took none of my shit, non judgemental (he said he saw PhD students like me every week), but made me feel listened to and genuinely made efforts to help me, including getting out literally my entire medical records at one point. sadly couldn't keep seeing him when i stopped being a student.

i'm glad you didn't die. here's to invincible livers!!
 
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