am i the only one in this?

[gimmethecamera]

i feel so misunderstood, i feel different than others i feel like i am an alien.
sometimes i feel like the pain of the world just coming over me, i feel extreme sadness, i dont mean to sound like a cliched drug user but ive always felt like this.
every since i was like 5 years old i remember i was always sad and quiet, i used drugs at a very young age, and ever since i found drugs, it transforms me into someone i want to be, someone confident, loud, comfortable.
when im sober i feel alienated, i feel like everyone knows who they are and happiness comes easily to them...not to me tho.
i feel so fucking lost sometimes.
i feel alone, like no one gets me or how i feel, to the people i do tell my feelings they look at me like im crazy.
i feel so deeply saddened sometimes for no reason, i feel the pain and sadness of the world on my fucking shoulders and when it feels like its too much i use whatever i can find.
i hate this, i want positive thoughts to come naturally to me i dont know, ive thought about ending this many times, i dont mean to be suicidal, but honestly i dont think im fit to live i feel weak compared to other people i feel like a black stain ruining a beautiful piece of fabric.
im afraid of things that arent even there, im afraid of being cheated on im afraid of being alone.

ironically i believe that if i die i wont be alone, hell i wont even exist so everything would be better.
does anyone else feel this?
i want to know if im the only one or not..

 

[blahman8000]

Of course you're not the only one. In fact, most troubled people and/or drug users feel like that a lot.

If you're not naturally the loud type, don't beat yourself up over it. I personally prefer to be around quieter people, and find them more interesting. A lot of the louder and more "confident" types of people are just compensating for a lack of true personality. And anyway, you can work on developing your social skills with practice. With it will come confidence.

Do you get out much? Do you have friends?

 

[gimmethecamera]

i am out doing activities and spending time with my friends and shit a lot
i have a lot of friends actually, but im so depressed i feel like nothing or no one can pull me out of it, so i use whatever i can find to get fucked up on.
alcohol is my poison of choice tho, its always around me.
after alcohol i enjoy opiates, heroin, speed, prescription drugs, mdma, and weed.

i feel like a fucking stranger, i feel like no one knows me that well and i want someone to know me really well, i would like to share some kind of bond with someone like nothing sexual or anything i would just like to have someone that knows where im coming from and how i feel, but i havent found that yet.