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Am I only one?

riddler2k7

riddler2k7

Bluelighter
Joined
Jan 30, 2015
Messages
59
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On this planet unfortunately
Sometimes I feel like I'm meant to be with no one. No relationships no friends, just me and my "medication". Girls kinda freak me out relationship wise cause I always feel if one ever liked me she would have a hiding agenda (And from many many bad experiences) Guys well....... I really haven't been with anyone relationship wise and even sex wise only once. Iono I was always told the definition of insanity is expecting a different result an while doing the same thing. And I figure my life is about 1/3 over if I'm lucky and it's doesn't get easier for a guy like me. I just need something to tell my friends and family cause they all, and I mean all are in relationships. Even my parents are waiting for me to find a nice girl and settle down. I don't even have a career job. Iono sorry for the rant, theses forums are the only way I can get all this out and tomorrow I have to deal with being like the 9th and the million questions of why I never had a gf..........

iono if anyone feels the same or want to chat it be cool, hope this is in the right place to post this........
 
iono???

how old are you? and IMO when you go looking for a relationship its almost impossible to find, you just have to not worry yourself and let things just happen... girls dont want a guy who is freaking out about being alone and, atleast in my experience, want someone confident, funny, and able to support em... prob doesnt really answer ne questions but just dont worry about it so much, and i would hope your family isnt being serious but more or less joking with you about being single... my grandma was giving me a hard time about not being married over christmas... she was like when i was your age i had a family and your still single?? i just told her well you guys also thought cigs were good for ya and communism was gona take over the planet... idk just sayin dont let it get to ya and youll have a better shot of finding someone...
 
Nope my family is very serious, it's kinda a cultural thing and I'm the first born, also the youngest of my cousins to not be married. I most already know no girl is even gonna be interested in me, and if they were I would be so skeptical about it and paranoid it would never work. I kinda just want a friend, boy or girl, and I just want all of my friends and family to leave me alone. I understand you all are in relationships and seem so happy, that's cool. Just prob not for me and I wish people could understand that.
 
im the oldest of all my cousin and single and the only one whos not going to be a fucking doctor, lawyer, engineer and the only who enjoys drugs... so i know the black sheep feeling... also im not in a relationship, i broke up w my gf a couple months back because shit just wasntin working out and believe me alot of ppl in relationships arent all that happy, the grass isnt always greener... and to say NO girl is ever gna be interested in you is totally untrue, and can you explain why you would be skeptical if they were?
 
@riddler2k7 - what is it you think is wrong with you that no girl would like you?

When I got hassled by family I'd just grin and say, "Why get married and make one woman miserable when I can stay single and make a whole lot of them happy? :D Or you could say something like, "I discovered I like fucking goats so if you don't mind me bringing Nanny home...? :D

Back in my 40's I figured after all the different women I'd been with, I had to figure I was the problem, not them - for a start nobody could see a similarity between any of them so I wasn't one of those who always found the 'same woman' so it wasn't a psych thing. I pretty much spent a couple of years dealing with the fact I would be alone for the rest of my life and trying to work out how NOT to be the scary guy down the block that all the kids were afraid of.

Then I met my wife online and things changed. A year later she came to Australia and things have been pretty good since - she's now a citizen and wouldn't go back to the States if they paid her. Like P_B says, (sorta) time to stop looking and work out the life YOU want to lead - then one day you'll find yourself meeting someone.

My advice, stay away from dating sites - it's like going to a club - they're all on best face behaviour and weeks or months later you meet the real person and they aren't who they made themselves out to be. Instead, find sites you like, doing things you enjoy. Maybe there will be someone on there and at least then you know you have something in common.

Cheer up... you're young and you have plenty of time to find her...
 
Well I guess I have major depression, suicidal thoughts and previous failures of acted out thoughts, schizophrenia, and well I guess extreme paranoia. I was on antidepressants but I gave up after a while. So now to get thought the day I will smoke or roll mdma, or take a benzodiazepine to calm me. I have very few friends and none that I can talk to about any of this. I am also bisexual but I'm so antisocial and have no hope in ever being in a relationship I've never told anyone cause it doesnt matter and I don't think I can take the reaction on my own. Most days are spent alone crying and wondering why I'm even alive. I'm trying not to cry as I write this. I mean what person would want to be with someone like me? Someone so scared and paranoid to be in public alone, if not on drugs just always depressed, and someone who doesnt see a future for themselves. Even when I do see someone, well mostly girls I would be too scared to go up to a boy, only things that come into my mind are I'm not good enough for her, she's to pretty, she's leave me if I show her the true me, just break my heart so why bother. I'm sorry I know this seems like just some loser kid rant, but like I said I don't have anyone at all. Sites like these are the closest I have to a cconversation with another human being. I know it's a lot to read, I don't expect anyone to or any miracle answers, I've kinda given up on it all and just accepted this is my life. But for those who have least given me some advice and for those that do read, thanks. It does mean something to me and I do feel little better writing this.
 
Man, I'm sorry, that's a huge whammy to cop especially as you sound so socially isolated! Given that you list several psychological issues I hope you're at least seeing a psych & getting helpful meds. Though it doesn't seem they're particularly beneficial atm.

How long were you taking the anti depressant? I have a friend with ptsd & major depression, it did take him a while to get on the right one, then within a cpla mths he did a 180 in Regard to how he was living his life. *just saying.

How does the MDMA help with your suicidal thoughts? Have you been using it long enough to develop a decent tolerance & not longer get the positive mind effects that you once did? Sorry for all the questions, my intentions are not to get you overthinking.

BL is a knowledgeable & helpful community, I'm sure many more will respond to your post. Please seek medical help, even if it's just your GP for now, & let them be aware that you're not coping on your current meds ❤️.

Rtp
 
Well I was taking Prozac, then went to wellbutrin, and remeron and risperdal were added. I took the last three for about two months then just stopped. I haven't told my therapist yet, I'm just getting used to him. I've only taken the mdma twice, cause I know it doesn't work if you use it constantly. The first time I tried it it was precapsuled at 170mg which I am only 5"10 maybe 155 on a good day. I have tried redosing and taking again but I think I got nervous and made it even lower so it didn't really do much for me. This site does seem nice, as far as seeking help, that's something I still struggle with on a personal level........
 
Well, keep in mind, even if you don't feel ready just now, that you're well & truly entitled to live your best life. We only get one shot, & if seeking medical advice for what are medical issues can potentially enhance your quality of life, I feel it would be worth stepping outside your comfort zone. Imho ?.

Rtp
 
I know I should, but I'm scared what if I don't get better, what if live gets worse and I can't be helped? In group the social workers made it seem I was just destined to relaspe mentally and drug wise, they told us most do. And well in the hospital I pretty much saw my future self if I kept going, kept living the way I am. We did talk a lot and saw a lot in each other. Part of me wants to change, meet someone nice and have a nice life. But maybe part of me doesn't believe still I can have that life.............
 
I remember when I was a teenager going through periods of great self doubt and feeling like I wasn't good enough for a girl. Looking back I realize that in many ways dwelling on it and feeling sorry for myself was a big part of the problem. Granted there may be medical issues you need to deal with but if I can offer one piece of advice it would be to pick something that interests you and focus your energy on that. Developing a skill is something that will give you more confidence and as you shift your energy to things that better yourself, you become more attractive
 
Yea, most of my years, I guess my therapist has noticed, that my school years up to college weren't great. I was always made fun of, by boys and girls. Guys would lie and tell girls I liked them and they would be so disgusted, like I was so ugly. So I never had anyone and after a while never went after anyone. I was just always the nice guy. But least back then I did play sports, was into music and instruments. Not good in any way, but kept me busy. I do want to go back to playing the piano tho, it was fun for me......
 
I remember when I was a teenager going through periods of great self doubt and feeling like I wasn't good enough for a girl. Looking back I realize that in many ways dwelling on it and feeling sorry for myself was a big part of the problem. Granted there may be medical issues you need to deal with but if I can offer one piece of advice it would be to pick something that interests you and focus your energy on that. Developing a skill is something that will give you more confidence and as you shift your energy to things that better yourself, you become more attractive
 
riddler2k7 said:
I know I should, but I'm scared what if I don't get better, what if live gets worse and I can't be helped?
Click to expand...
well, if you do nothing, you certainly won't ever get better. fear of failure is one of the biggest obstacles on the road to recovery. it's up to you to decide to take the dive. therapy and medication can be useful tools, but they're worthless if you don't change your ways.

please don't see this as an attack, but as an attempt to encourage you. in my opinion, every person has the power to do it.
 
"Should" isn't a word that you can use buddy, it's just another word that will enable you to feel guilty for not doing anything at this time. Look forward not back, your teen years are behind you. Maybe the sounds you hear & the steps that seem so large are really you not wanting or feeling deserving of positive change. How much can life get worse if you seek assistance & nothing comes of it?

Also, I understand how lonely we all can get, but it sounds like it's time to focus on you not on wanting to find a significant other.

Play the piano, get back into music, anything that gives you a glimmer of pleasure & hope for your future is just the start.

Be well,

Rtp
 
I don't know how old you are, but you say 1/3rd.. so around 20'ish perhaps?

Regardless, you are putting (and allowing) pressure to be placed upon yourself that you do not need. Relationships are not the be all end all. And you certainly should not be doing it because of pressure from others, period. When you're ready you will be ready and that's for you to know and no one else, it's your life not theirs.

If you rush into a relationship just to please others or for the sake of being in one you'll cause yourself some strife.. you'll probably learn too, but a relationship isn't just a commodity.. think of it as a third person that grows when you both put heart in to it. Like conceiving a child, if you're doing it for the wrong reasons it will probably back fire. Likewise a lot of people rush in to marriage around 30 because they get afraid of the 'musical chairs'.. everyone else starts to do it too. How many of them will still be together 8 years down the line and not divorced..

The right reasons. You need to do it for the right reasons. When it happens it will happen.
 
The sad part is, when I think of being in a relationship it's not for me. It's so I can rub it in everyone's face that I can least find someone. None of my friends have ever seen me with anyone, and we've known each other for 10+ years. It's always been this couple and just me as an extra. Other times I get so paraiod about actually being with someone, that close, someone I just can't push away like everyone else in my life I don't want to. I feel always like their are two parts of me, both want the opposite things and I just get so frustrated and confused with it all. I do understand what everyone is saying but it's just that other side of me that really doesn't care anymore and is just waiting for me to give up. I almost did completely give up and didn't want to go to my therapist anymore, but I feel like maybe just seeing him and just talking to the people on here is some sort of progress I guess......
 
And I'm sorry I don't mean to sound like I'm disregarding anyone's advice, I'm just not used to this support setup. I guess even for me finding this site I guess is a positive, I never even knew such a site exsisted.
 
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