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Am i just different?

liltadpole

liltadpole

Greenlighter
Joined
Jan 10, 2015
Messages
3
Location
midwest
Me and crystal go back 7-8 years now and I wonder if I'm different or just the exception to the norm. I guess what I mean by that is that I don't think crystal affects me the way she does with other people. I have found that I can use her daily for months and never feel the need to go out of my way to get her. If she is available cool I'll figure my bills and what I want to do with the family and anything extra I might get me half of her. It can last me up to a week or shorter if I'm sharing her with people and when its gone I don't stress it. I don't get panicky when I know I'm running low, i don't do any scrapings or licking of the bags, it just doesn't bother me I'm out. I have the same job I have had before I even started using her and have never missed a day of work in 5 years except for here recently due to kidney stones (yuck!). I have a house and land that is all paid off and three beautiful children and a husband (who shares her with me). I might stay up all night one time while I have her but generally go to sleep every night. My bills are paid and my kids are spoiled. I can have it and might go a couple of days or longer and don't feel the urge to have any even if I have used constantly for a few months. I haven't lost weight ( sob) thought I would like to lose a few pounds. No bad teeth or even cavities at all in my life.

Yes I feel the buzz every time I use her and I tend to get focused on my phone playing games or watching YouTube videos. Im hardly ever interested in sex though my husband is which can sometimes cause some tension but he goes out and does his work around the yard and we compromise later on.

Is something wrong with me? I mean honestly I'm not complaining and I'm glad that I can say no I have bills this week or we have christmas coming up so I'll pass but I make good enough money that I can always usually afford a little and it not affect my bank account. But I'm just wondering BC I hear about people losing their jobs BC they don't show up or they lose their house or kids BC they choose her over everything else. But I have never been like that even then when I used constantly for 3 years when it was everywhere to now where I useit a few times a week since its not as abundant. Maybe I'm just fooling myself. Anyways anybody's thoughts?
 
Well crystal meth is like anything else in that there's a certain percentage of users who can use & keep their lives on a good track.

Meth is somewhat unique though in that it's definitely the drug scene I've been involved with where the percentage of those functioning users is small compared to plain ol drug addicts.
 
So I seem to be one of the ones that can lead a normal life And it not affect me much? My husband says I keep him grounded on it. He said if I wasn't the one who would say no not this week or only this much he thinks he could get in over his head but he says I keep his priorities straight and that helps him stay focused. I know what I don't want itto do to me or my family and so I don't allow it. I just thought that with me functioning like a normal adult and me having no interest in sex while I'm using her that something was wrong with me.
 
It sounds like you care a lot about your health and well being of you and your family. If you take care of yourself and get good sleep meth will still damage you but not near as quickly or as bad as someone who stays up for days barely eating and continually hammering their brain with larger doses.

That's great that you can use responsibly, just work hard to make sure that doesn't change. Keep and eye on your tolerance and if you notice you've been using more and more often make a conscious decision to slow down even if you can afford it.

good luck!
 
You are probably one of the people that them there ADHD meds are meant for

You are normal, yet also unusual. You are unusual because you are a functional long term user of a dangerous drug and normal because that in itself is not very extreme. Just responsible
 
Meth, from what I've seen, is not a straight-forward addiction like benzos or opiates. I've done loads of stimulants, including meth and MDPV, and I never truly suffered from 'addiction' to them. I like to think a big factor is what you do on the drug. A casual user may just do it to get some chores done, study or basically recreational things. But an addict will start to do their job, exercise, party, have sex, etc. while on the drug, and that leads to them not wanting to do the task unless there's stimulants involved. Working a meth (or EPH, MDPV, whatever) binge into their daily schedule is what usually leads to full-on addictions, from what I can see.

Of course it has to do with ROA, the amount you do and whether or not you redose. But I know users who can do it once (myself include), and not have the urge to do more once the high and redose compulsion is gone. But then I know addicts who won't go see a movie, won't go for a walk or even get out of their beds unless they've had a bump. You seem to be responsible, but don't let that go to your head.
 
I was talking to a friend/jib dealer about this very thing awhile ago. He has been a daily user for probably 15 years, and also does opiates daily (all IV). As extreme as that may sound, he's still one of the calmest, most reasonable, easy to talk to guys ever. I've seen him obviously fucked up maybe 3 times in 7 years. He also looks (although a little sketchy) "normal" compared to how so many people doing speed regularly get to looking...not at all the stereotypical super skinny, pale, sweaty guy/girl with dental issues.

He was saying that he thinks people get the wrong idea when they hear how long he has been doing meth, and how heavily...they think that's the norm and should be for them too. Then they inevitably wind up really strung out, having psychotic episodes, etc etc. Most people can't keep "crystal" to one night up, and ideas about dosing once or whatever go out the window....if it works for you, that's awesome, but it's rare. I guess you have to know what works for you and your partner and go from there...

It took me 12 years to get to the point where I can use meth for one day/night and then leave it alone....and even that leaves me feeling off for days now.
 
Well when I first started years back I was a smoker and that was the only way I would do it. It's has been a year or so that I have started iv'ing it but I think my does is so low. I use an insulin needle I think it's 1/2 a cc. Anyways I put enough water to the 20 Mark and then add a little Tina. I am careful if how much and after filtering it it sometimes is still at the 20 or has inched a bit to the 22. I getcloud feeling in my head and it feels like my eyes are buzzing and i do re dose prolly depending on the day (if its an 18 hr shift than only 2 times, if I'm off up to 4) but I never make them bigger than that bc i once had someone make one up for me it it registered as a 30 so basically 10 of Tina and I got so hot and sweaty and floating feeling that I didn't care much for it. I do use it for work in the sense that I work long long shifts. My day usually starts at 2-3 am and I'm don't working sometimes by 5 but usually by 8-9 if u also factor in my drive times to different places. So it's nice in the morning so I don't fall asleep and it's nice to help carry me through the day. Maybe I am just unusually normal lol
 
We are all 'different' in some ways I reckon? A quick scan through Bluelight will soon show you how some people love one sort of drug, wheras others find it pure poison, mentally and even physically. The old saying "one man's meat is another man's poison" is particularly appropriate when it comes to drugs and drug effects... an nobody should ever judge or criticise someone else for having different tastes IMHO? Alas, you will only ever find out what suits you by trying them all...
 
Perhaps Rapper... I prefer to take on 'habits' one at a time, and found the one that suited me long ago... and unfortunately there is no safe, economicl or effective subtitute... groan!
 
I doubt it. I know people who thought they were "different" with meth, opiates, or cocaine and they thought they had their drug use under control even if they just would sometimes use the meth, opiates, or coke on the weekend only...and then boom! One day they realized they are addicted to meth, opiates, coke, etc. but it sneaked up on them.

Be very careful.
 
A bit late for that PTC I'm afraid! I soon realised I was hopelessly 'addicted' to amphetamine when I discovered it cured my depression! I say 'cured', though I'm afraid it is incurable - let's just say, made life liveable, by masking the symptoms on a day to day basis. I have subsequently been treated by the medical profession as 'A Junkie' with addiction problems, rather than a patient who requires daily medication in order to have any worthwhile life, because of chronic depression. If you detect a trace of 'bitterness' at the cruel injustice of this, you may well be right... I'm afraid I am long, long past the point of caring any more!

I appreciate the good advice even so...
 
Voyager3 said:
Perhaps Rapper... I prefer to take on 'habits' one at a time, and found the one that suited me long ago... and unfortunately there is no safe, economicl or effective subtitute... groan!
Click to expand...

Idk man mines opiates all day or so I thought till I got on methadone tapered off and quite them all together.

during my mdone taper I picked up a ketamine and cocaine iv, plus a xanax/valium/soma habit, an iv 2cb.

My point being
A.) Once you are quiting your doc it'll be tempting to go any where else.
An
B.) If you do try those things chances are you'll like it, especially if you dabble for a lil. Once your familiar with it the claws are in.

Voyager3: I feel you man I'm just throwing it out there as my experiences an as h.r.

plus when your really down and with out your dope you'll find some of those other drugs, that you may have even had preconceived notions about or didn't like at first can calm that depression in all the wrong ways to Just like your d.o.c.
 
TheRapperGoneBad said:
Idk man mines opiates all day or so I thought till I got on methadone tapered off and quite them all together.

during my mdone taper I picked up a ketamine and cocaine iv, plus a xanax/valium/soma habit, an iv 2cb.

My point being
A.) Once you are quiting your doc it'll be tempting to go any where else.
An
B.) If you do try those things chances are you'll like it, especially if you dabble for a lil. Once your familiar with it the claws are in.

Voyager3: I feel you man I'm just throwing it out there as my experiences an as h.r.

plus when your really down and with out your dope you'll find some of those other drugs, that you may have even had preconceived notions about or didn't like at first can calm that depression in all the wrong ways to Just like your d.o.c.
Click to expand...

Thanks Rapper... and (if you believe in such things, as I do), you do seem to have either 'true feeling' or some sense of precognition there, as this very day I have run out of whiz.... yet obtained some Mephedrone... 'as a substitute'! I fully appreciate your warnings and cautions of course, as I know only too well how the loss of one's 'd.o.c.' inevitably causes agony, misery and desperation (in my case the swift onset of chronic depression), which speaking for myself, I will do anything and everything to avoid, suppress or beat!

Oddly enough, after more than five years of suffering,, during which I uselessly tried everything offered by medicial science - a load of crap, excluding the one thing which actually works of course! - I was finding that copious amounts of alcohol were no longer effective, and about to have catastrophic effects, and had almost reached the point of resorting to the one thing which would provide a permanent, final cure, to wit: Suicide, And then, by pure chance, I was handed a wrap of something mysterious (no name, no chemical description) by a stranger in the pub, with the magic words... "if you like MDMA, this'll blow your socks off!". And being the sensible, careful, logical yet utterly desperate fellow I am, I swallowed it without further ado.

He was absolutely honest, it did blow my socks off... I thought it might be Ketamine, it was so peculiar, but no, as I later discovered it was only Drone. After years of relative abstinence it was a massive shock to the system and mind, but sure enough, I was too zammed to be depressed... and was still not depressed the next day. Can't say I 'enjoyed' it, it was too weird, and as such never intended to try it again. However, under the circumstances, I will... in v. small, experimental amounts - apparently a strong stimulant, without the full on 'trip'. Oh well, we shall see... BTW, if you see even more lengthy, deranged, ranting posts than usual this week, you will know why!

Fond Regards XXXXX
 
Well, a week of experiments with 'drone'.... and how quiet I have been? I find little stimulant effect, but that may just be me and my addled brain.... not sure? I very soon accustomed to it, taking small amounts, at first 'wrapped', but pretty soon IV. I actually find it quite soporiphic, and it sends me to sleep. Dreams have been very vivid and profound now and then, but nothing alarming. Just a bit stoned overall really? No problem conversing in the pub.... maybe a trace of recklessness when approaching women half my age, hem hem... but nothing disastrous. Another 'take it or leave it' thing I'm afraid...
 
I like meth but it isn't something I want to do a lot. Even when I was binging on just about every drug I had to the point it was dangerous, I had some meth that I did not touch for a week. And I have been able to hold on to meth for a week or two the times I've had enough to go more than one meth session with no trouble.
It is harder for me to not abuse psychedelics but I am one of those somewhat rare freaks who like psychedelics so much they can start compulsively using/abusing them. There was a period of maybe 9 months where I tripped about 3 times per week before I started college and that is the only thing that made me slow down.
But then I started using opiates and eventually that was daily and I added benzos and then other downers and escalated that and screwed up my life (hopefully not permanently). But meth and stimulants in general are not something I feel a compulsion to use except for redosing when I am already high and I don't let myself go at that more than two days.
 
PriestTheyCalledHim said:
I doubt it. I know people who thought they were "different" with meth, opiates, or cocaine and they thought they had their drug use under control even if they just would sometimes use the meth, opiates, or coke on the weekend only...and then boom! One day they realized they are addicted to meth, opiates, coke, etc. but it sneaked up on them.

Be very careful.
Click to expand...

These are my thoughts exactly.
 
And mine sadly. If you don't wish to get 'addicted' do nothing enjoyable. That includes sex, driving fast, drinking coffee - but most of all drugs and drink... and smoking of course. Being rigidly self-disciplined and sensible is unfortunately not addictive, just a pain in the arse, which only appeals to people who are already natural pains in the arse. Other addictions are connected with pleasure... and as some BDSM fans get that from pain, even that can be addictive. Shopping of course... any sexual perversion... making money.... fighting and danger.... flying... you just can't win. Any other notable addictions I have forgotten?
 
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