lemongaga
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Jul 3, 2010
- Messages
- 111
I'm very nervous about a drug test on Monday. The last time I used was yesterday. One half of 30mg Xr adderall (split with someone at the bar) 10-20 hits off a crack pipe, and a tiny, loosely run joint of low grade weed. Also, a fifth of vodka. Now, I haven't smoked weed since January and even then it was very lightly. I haven't smoked daily in at least a year. I haven't abused adderall heavily in a few weeks and I'm not a crack user by any means. The only two things I'm worried about is this: an earlier random drug test or the WEED showing up (even though it was such a miniscule amount) I'm being tested by a stronger drug test than usual because mean people like to report me for violating. Also, if I drink nyquil with 10% alcohol in it to get to sleep (maybe 1-3 medicine cups full) and don't drink any until after, would I test positive?
Again, I'm not a hard drug user by any means- I just end up gently partaking in chemical affairs while intoxicated from liquor- which is pretty much useless since i'm too obliterated to even feel a high. :/ I've decided to quit drinking completely as it is only worsening my anxiety/depression/ocd the next day and raising my suicidal idealization. Plus, it's risking my freedom which I don't enjoy since I hate being alive, but tend to prefer over jail. Oh yeah, and not to mention, some kind of wire gets tripped every time I drink causing me to end up in really bad scary situations doing really unsafe or disgusting or evil things..... I've tried before to stop and even did successfully for about 2 years- however during this phase of my life, I was more miserable mentally than ever before. I'm concerned about history repeating itself. So this is going to be my last time attempting "sobriety." I know better than to abuse my soul with 12 steps or religion (as I've done in the past) so I'm going for therapy and holistic measures. I have no hope at all. If this fails I w ill definitely kill myself. I've tried all the psych meds and yoga anyone can take and they don't work. So please don't recommend a mental hospital as though are way more harmful than helpful (for people like myself.) I'm so upset and really need help. One last shot.
Again, I'm not a hard drug user by any means- I just end up gently partaking in chemical affairs while intoxicated from liquor- which is pretty much useless since i'm too obliterated to even feel a high. :/ I've decided to quit drinking completely as it is only worsening my anxiety/depression/ocd the next day and raising my suicidal idealization. Plus, it's risking my freedom which I don't enjoy since I hate being alive, but tend to prefer over jail. Oh yeah, and not to mention, some kind of wire gets tripped every time I drink causing me to end up in really bad scary situations doing really unsafe or disgusting or evil things..... I've tried before to stop and even did successfully for about 2 years- however during this phase of my life, I was more miserable mentally than ever before. I'm concerned about history repeating itself. So this is going to be my last time attempting "sobriety." I know better than to abuse my soul with 12 steps or religion (as I've done in the past) so I'm going for therapy and holistic measures. I have no hope at all. If this fails I w ill definitely kill myself. I've tried all the psych meds and yoga anyone can take and they don't work. So please don't recommend a mental hospital as though are way more harmful than helpful (for people like myself.) I'm so upset and really need help. One last shot.