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Heroin Am i going insane?! Something is definitely amiss goddammit(IV problems!)

Harumscxarum

Harumscxarum

Bluelighter
Joined
Feb 18, 2007
Messages
538
Location
Las Vegas, Nv
Long time heroin IV user, been through the ringer(OD,Stroke,Endocarditis) Have never had good veins or much luck IV'ing. I'm no stranger to missing,partial misses or the IV megathread..But here goes.


I wish I could say I'm smarter than this but I'm not; so, for the past 7 fucking months! I've been missing my speedball shots at a rate of damn near 100% i shit you not. At first i chalked it up to bad luck, being too anxious, shitty veins etc etc. any excuse i could. But eventually i began to notice this missing isnt like before.

1. I'm not getting ANY euphoria at all
2. I've completely nailed a shot, or so I swore i did and still did not feel anything at all!

The only reason i keep trying is because as soon as the drugs are GONE i manage to get a perfect register into a vein that doesn't move when i go to push the plunger down like all the others, but these good registers ONLY show up after i fuck over my shots.

I've never missed like this before ever! except last year when i got endocarditis...but back then if i nailed 80% of a shot and missed the rest I'd be pretty good, I'd still get somewhat of a rush and a high when it absorbed...but that doesn't happen anymore. no matter how well i register when i actually manage to get and stay in a vein...the shot seems to vanish into thin air! I don't think a high tolerance is to blame...even though im sure missing a shot every day for months didnt help, but sometimes I'll miss most of a shot but can still hear the cocain beginning to work on me, can hear ringing, other times I only miss 5% of the shot and feel even less than missing the whole thing.

I went to the ER a few weeks ago because of vague chest pain and an abnormal EKG, but they didnt find anything. no HIGH BP, no endocarditis...nothing. But it seems like my veins and body are rejecting my shots completely..miss or no miss! WTF is going on!

P.S
I know i should fucking quit but how can i when i haven't even started? It's been so goddamn long since I've actually felt a speedball..i cant even remember. Please tell me wtf is going on, what can cause shots to disintegrate in the body without being absorbed :!:?

P.P.S While submitting this post my "friend" arrived to bring me things. First shot i tried was a 2 & 1, completely nailed it between my ring and pinky finger, almost NO effect, ears popping! Next I did the almost equally sized cotton shot, nailed it in the crook of my arm, slight ringing no euphoria...same goes with a shot of just white..this isnt usual for me to just find and hit these veins easily, it's an honest to god fluke...but when i finally do It's just not getting there..christ please help me
 
Quit. You sound like you have been at this for a while. Your receptors can only take so much. Eventually you won't feel....much. I would try for a break of some sort.

Time for others to weigh in.
 
If you can longer feel the drugs you're shooting, why are you persisting in shooting them?

Plus injecting yourself with cocaine after an "abnormal EKG" doesn't sound like a particularly good idea.
 
go get subutex please. your veins are gone buddy. thats it. you will not find a SOLUTION; UNTIL you take a break. so go get some subs. and chill for a month. then go ahead and give it another shot.... Literally.
 
OP, this thread went from zero to the point, pretty quick. No matter how you view it, some part of you needs a break. Utfse and reflect. There really is no other thing that can be said. We want you to stick around for a while.
 
Tolerance is a total cunt ass whore.. Either your veins need a break or maybe you do altogether.. I would suggest taking something else for a bit and winding down from doing H and coke speedballs if possible, but I know its hard to stop as I have been where you are. Except coke I never really got used to or had a tolerance to it only when actually doing it and for the short term, it was something that I didn't build long term tolerance to like dope, now H and other opioids I had a stupidly high tolly to them. But whenever I would speedball with coke+H it was always really good shit, both the coke and dope.. I wouldn't get coke or dope if I cant smell it and its distinct odor. I always know its good shit by smelling it which has always pissed my connects off, when they hand me the shit and I start smelling it lol, they get mad sometimes, but hey I have been played one too many times before with coke, crack, H, pills, etc. from people I had been going to for years even!! And I promised myself I wouldn't let it happen to me again.. I have since gotten on bupe, and don't do full agonist opioids at all anymore, but still like to do a little yayo soft or hard from time to time.. anyways good luck with your tolerance, or whatever it may be messing with your high, hope you find a way back to the way it used to be. Have u considered going on subs or methadone? Maybe its just time for you to give the opis a break and just do them on special occasions, I did that for a good while, would take subs all week then on every other weekend use H or another strong opi, then continue the subs and so on... until I failed a random UA at my sub doc and I was given an ultimatum either subs or opiates! not both, so I picked the subs.
 
Ilove2nod said:
Tolerance is a total cunt ass whore.. Either your veins need a break or maybe you do altogether.. I would suggest taking something else for a bit and winding down from doing H and coke speedballs if possible, but I know its hard to stop as I have been where you are. Except coke I never really got used to or had a tolerance to it only when actually doing it and for the short term, it was something that I didn't build long term tolerance to like dope, now H and other opioids I had a stupidly high tolly to them. But whenever I would speedball with coke+H it was always really good shit, both the coke and dope.. I wouldn't get coke or dope if I cant smell it and its distinct odor. I always know its good shit by smelling it which has always pissed my connects off, when they hand me the shit and I start smelling it lol, they get mad sometimes, but hey I have been played one too many times before with coke, crack, H, pills, etc. from people I had been going to for years even!! And I promised myself I wouldn't let it happen to me again.. I have since gotten on bupe, and don't do full agonist opioids at all anymore, but still like to do a little yayo soft or hard from time to time.. anyways good luck with your tolerance, or whatever it may be messing with your high, hope you find a way back to the way it used to be. Have u considered going on subs or methadone? Maybe its just time for you to give the opis a break and just do them on special occasions, I did that for a good while, would take subs all week then on every other weekend use H or another strong opi, then continue the subs and so on... until I failed a random UA at my sub doc and I was given an ultimatum either subs or opiates! not both, so I picked the subs.
Click to expand...


Loved your replies everyone, this one especially. I've decided to call my Sub doc, his policy changed AND there's a waiting list! But I know it's for the best because he just gives U Subs with no needed follow-up of any kind the only other place that I know to get them from has a very nice intensive outpatient program but I've been through before and it helped me quit h but at the time I also had a really bad crack problem so I was only half into it, I'll give it another go with them.

It still baffles my mind though, like lovestonod said...even with H toleracne I never build a long term coke tolly. I've ALWAYS gotten a numb tongue and cheeks...some kind of audio distortion or full blown ringy ding ding lol. That's the part messing with me the most :/
 
Great replies.
Sounds like bunk dope, too.
How's your heart now? That's more valuable than anything, you know? ...has to last for life.
 
OP, you need to consider seriously stepping back from your addiction if it is at all possible. For instance, I love to smoke bud. I smoke twice every day. After about 2 months of that, I notice I'm really not getting high like I used to. What I need to do is take a short tolerance break. If I can do that, I'll get higher, use less bud and enjoy the experience that much more. But, that would mean I can't smoke at all for a couple of days, how the hell am I supposed to do that?

My point is, we're all addicts here, so we're all looking for the magic bullet to enable us to enjoy our drugs indefinitely without consequence or tolerance, but it does not yet exist. You need to give your body a rest, reduce your tolerance and hope that by eating right and living correctly, the health of your veins will return to you. I blew out my veins years ago from Methadone abuse. As I need to leave a couple of veins viable for emergency situations, I do all of my shots intramuscularly now.
 
Took your advice seriously and replied like 2 weeks ago via mobile. Tried to edit the post and it only let me delete it :/

Went back to my Primary care physician or "PcP" if you will, for a physical/checkup. SAME shit as the ER. Blood work, EKG & X-ray..except she also wants to get an Ecocardiogram..ultrasound for the heart.

However I've discovered a huge problem that just may be to blame for a LOT of this bs except tolerance, which I've concluded is at least a quarter of the problem. Ibe begun to notice that the rigs I've been buying from the Mexican pharmacy(only Mfers close by who'll sell me rigs without an insulin-shock prerequisit.."city of sin?"...my fat cunt.

THESE CHEAP AND AVAILABLE RIGS ARE LEAVING LARGE AMOUNTS OF METAL FLAKE ON AND INSIDE ME! I fucking worry to even think what that's done. IS that why my vision got really shitty? Could harmful setiment in my shot cause it to be arrested before absorbing? Did I already kill myself and just don't know it yet? :(

Don't have the money for a lawyer but it doesn't cost a thing to threaten a lawsuit in hopes of settling out of court. Been pulling flakes out of my arm for 24hrs...Goddamn speed, but they're real I can assure you.

, I think it's so f****** stupid that I get dangerous rigs from a pharmacy but the ones I take out of the casino bathroom are objectively tonns safer or less harmful to say the least. I generally make no exceptions when it comes to the sharing of equipment but when I drove to every Pharmacy within 7 miles and couldn't find a single place even after arguing that would sell me what I need to not catch diseases or harm myself more than I already am it forced my hand. My justification, which seems much more reasonable now was that since they were diabetic they had only been used once and didn't come into contact with blood I still bleach them regardless but even without the bleach bathroom rigs are safer and less harmful then the piece of s*** they are allowed to sell over the counter

It gets stupid in Vegas we have like a thousand CVS and Walgreens but the one or two of them out of every store including Walmart that actually will sell you the rigs will only carry the super super small ones with the ultra short needles
 
^This and ^^ This
I know discussion sources isn't allowed, but it's about harm reduction. I'm pretty sure you can buy them on amazon
 
No excuse for shit needles - as stated above, get them in bulk on Amazon and in the meantime suck up the shame and get clean ones from Walgreens.

That being said I'll second everyone else who emphasized that you got the answer within one or two replies. You're not missing, its tolerance, as unbelievable as that may be.

I went through something similar with meth and H and almost killed myself. It's time to stop, if only because at this point, you can saturate your solution with drugs to the limits of solubility and still not get high. Shit just isn't coming back.
 
In regards to absorbency when cooking a big one; Never fucking once thought of that! KINDA makes sense now when I look back at the times when I'd act like my age only has 1 digit hahaha. I'D get...lividly infuriated when I nailed my "initial shot"...didn't get high and proceeded to get fucked on every(probably more potent) cotton shot. :p

If you wouldn't mind elaborating on your near death, I feel like it might be interesting &/or lifesaving haha

TTQ..TTS :/

P.S amazon sounds good. WALGREENS can get fucked. To whoever asked there is no needle exchange program only an endless amount of retail pharmacies that require an insulin prescription not by law but by managers f***** discretion
 
Also it sucks to say, but as for metal flakes? I can't say I'm certain.

I am certain that it's what I think and what it FEELS like..when I'm sleep deprived and polar opposite of my ADD.

Does speed mess with your pain receptors? I know paranoia but damn! Would rub my hand down my arm and wherever I just shot would hAve several contact pains. When id squeeze the inflicted areas the pain would increase as my fIngers closed in on the spot, afterwards light colored, reflective looking shit would come through hair follicle spots.

So yeah, I asked before but possibly not with the right attitude. am i? GOING? INSANE? *fake meth-giggle*
 
Dude I can tell you why you got that endocrditis cause of speedballing mixing Coke and h both cuts going in at once plus the heart jumping up and slowing down at the same time on a daily I've done that and when I was speedballing it would burn the veins more and kill them much quicker especially also factor in the fact that when you speedball you keep shooting chasing that rush rather pure opiate addiction you just get well and go on with your day so you use your veins more often , more cut, with more presssure on your arteries and heart and such dude at least stop the Coke like I did at the very least, I know subuxone wasn't even a thought when I was chasing those speed balls so at least try taking H and pop stimulant pills or snort them
 
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