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Am I being dicked about?

C

Crampz

Bluelighter
Joined
Dec 29, 2012
Messages
189
So I met up with this girl from online a few months back, it was really fun actually, we just kinda hung out.

Anyway, I contacted her fairly shortly afterwards and never heard from her so I was just like 'whatever' then she contacted me, I was supposed to go meet her today and she just emailed me to cancel because shes apparently ill and we should meet up next week.

Does it sound like shes just dicking me about?
 
Sounds like she got someone in her life already. Either that or she got a lot of problems.

If you do meet her she may be DTF. Fuck if I know. Did you give her free drugs last time? Was she ghetto as fuck or in dire circumstances? I mean what do you think she wants?

Either casual sex, a relationship, someone to fuck around with, or free drugs.

If it was me I would see her if there were no red flags. If she makes plans and cancels them again, I wouldn't mess with her. Just check that she isn't doing anything sketchy. Also meeting someone of the net. You don't know shit about them. (ie marriage, drug habits, debts, drama)

If you gotta ask if your being toyed with, well maybe, but also you might be psyching yourself out. Evaluate the situation. I would play it coy and smooth and at any bullshit I would bounce.
 
She doesnt do drugs anymore (recovering addict) but she does have mental health issues so I dunno, I would like to see her again but I dunno :(
 
Crampz said:
She doesnt do drugs anymore (recovering addict) but she does have mental health issues so I dunno, I would like to see her again but I dunno :(
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Investigate it, make sure it's not borderline or bipolar, especially borderline. The vast majority of borderline females will aggressively reject the idea that there's something wrong with them and make your life a living Hell because they will say it's something wrong with you. If they are smart enough to realize it, it will be too late for you my man, damage will not be undone because they often request permanent changes like going to another country or selling your house. Thinking that making those permanent changes will make them happy and end the nightmare is wishful thinking so don't ever attempt to do so. So stay away, also, make sure to verify that she's taking the right medication if it's something less serious.
 
I dunno bout that. Everyone is borderline.

As far as bi-polar that was pretty en vogue to diagnose a while ago to diagnose people with. Its all about what the latest meds the pharm companies are pushing.

If she is bat shit it should stick out like a sore thumb if your sober.
 
She seems nice tbh, but she told me she has borderline personality disorder. Just thought it was really weird how she will just randomly contact me occassionally then disappear then contact me and arrange to meet up (im getting ready and quite excited) and she messages me and just says shes 'ill' maybe she is, but shes been a bit flaky so I dunno!
 
dopemaster said:
I dunno bout that. Everyone is borderline.

As far as bi-polar that was pretty en vogue to diagnose a while ago to diagnose people with. Its all about what the latest meds the pharm companies are pushing.

If she is bat shit it should stick out like a sore thumb if your sober.
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They are borderline because it's more comfortable to feed the abomination by blaming others than to fight it. I had borderline too and when I felt the need to prove something, when I was waiting for someone to make a mistake so I could blame him you know, when I felt I was in that mind-state, I took 4mg nicotine gum and chewed it fast. If it wouldn't go away I would chew another, take codeine too, one time I could barely stand on my feet. That's how I chose things to be. I didn't give a shit if I died. It was either life without borderline, or dead. At some point, the things I took destroyed my emotional center and borderline vanished.

The emotional center in the brain is very small. You can't let a chunk of vomit control your life and hurt others without your consent. I was the boss.
 
Ksa said:
Investigate it, make sure it's not borderline or bipolar, especially borderline. The vast majority of borderline females will aggressively reject the idea that there's something wrong with them and make your life a living Hell because they will say it's something wrong with you. If they are smart enough to realize it, it will be too late for you my man, damage will not be undone because they often request permanent changes like going to another country or selling your house. Thinking that making those permanent changes will make them happy and end the nightmare is wishful thinking so don't ever attempt to do so. So stay away, also, make sure to verify that she's taking the right medication if it's something less serious.
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all this is too sweeping and you are making statements about people that you haven't met and how they are going to behave. you dont know whats going to happen. i know borderlines that are nice people just impulsive and over emotional randomly. mental health problems are different from person to person but they do place a big strain on a relationship

if she's being flaky then people without mental health problems are flaky too, its just a behaviour pattern. is it one you can tolerate?
 
Tolerance ahhhh. Tolerance is my expertise my friend. You remember what I said about codeine, why I took it? Well, I used to take the bus home from university. There was people in the bus you know...smelly, sometimes, the stink was so bad I felt dizzy, almost puked. So I said man, something is wrong with me, so I took codeine and noticed that my smell detection had greatly decreased, I couldn't smell much anymore unless it was ammonia or acetone. Problem solved. I was with smelly persons in the bus and enjoyed myself.

Any other person would have gone like, "those filthy human rags!" You know my mother who has borderline actually TELLS THEM. She goes like, "don't you ever shower?" LOL So critical, so nagging, so annoying. I tell you the annoying person is the one who feels annoyed. They have problems. Whoever is discontent, he's the one with the problem. I had a problem I dealt with it. Simple. Others don't. They nag and nag and nag, because they like it. I don't like to nag.

Borderline is the definition of intolerance and nagging. Everyone has a flaw except the person nagging, that's how they view it.
 
Well I thought about it a bit more, in her 'ill' message she said lets up next week but whatever, I guess everyone says that (it just stinks of 'being nice' to be so vague i.e. 'next week' rather than 'thursday friday?' etc) but when we were going to meet up it was all 'come over, ive got nothing planned all weekend and ill cook you dinner etc'. Weird.
 
Crampz said:
Maybe I dodged a bullet.
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Keep on dodging bro!
I've gone down that path a few times with mentally unstable broads (on meds , self harmers, ex hooker junkies etc.) and it's ultimately it's just not worth it , their mental problems end up becoming your problems.

not that there's anything wrong with settling (low expectations are the key to happiness after all) , but there's a lot of ladies out there.
 
That sounds pretty good. You go over flirt, eat dinner, and fuck her. Your psyching yourself out.

She is cutting right to the chase. You don't even have to go through all the effort to go home with her cuz she invited you in holmes.

Sounds like your getting your dick wet. You don't even have to buy her dinner or drinks mate. Dude I have never had a girl invite me over for dinner at her place and not had sex with her. Sounds like she is a bit shy. She might be a bit keen, but so are you.

Dude she has nothing planned cuz she met you on a dating site. Sounds like she doesn't get out much. Its pretty normal for a woman to invite a man over for dinner. She is just like come and get it.

You said you liked her. So what if a shrink diagnosed her with something. It doesn't mean anything. What do you see in her? That's what is really what is important.

While I agree with some things KSA says, I don't really agree with his "if someone is diagnosed borderline this will happen if you go near them thing." She might not even be crazy.

If you go in for anything like anxiety they will diagnose you with something. Shrinks are fucking retarded IME and you can get them to diagnose you with whatever you want depending on what you say. I have a copy of the DSM4 and I read it. Its the standard book for the criteria for diagnosing all mental illness. Its used by every shrink, psychiatrist, and doctor in most English speaking countries. Its the standard.
 
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dopemaster said:
You said you liked her. So what if a shrink diagnosed her with something. It doesn't mean anything. What do you see in her? That's what is really what is important.
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Your perspective has great value, especially in scientific research and detective work, one has to see what's going on with a fresh, unbiased set of eyes. However, in cases like this, it's good to be biased because all borderliners show the exact same behavioral patterns which are documented. Getting to know a person almost fully before even meeting her? How nice is that? Very nice! Knowledge is power. Knowing things is like having a second pair of balls. It makes you more dangerous and valuable.
 
dopemaster said:
That sounds pretty good. You go over flirt, eat dinner, and fuck her. Your psyching yourself out.

She is cutting right to the chase. You don't even have to go through all the effort to go home with her cuz she invited you in holmes.

Sounds like your getting your dick wet. You don't even have to buy her dinner or drinks mate. Dude I have never had a girl invite me over for dinner at her place and not had sex with her. Sounds like she is a bit shy. She might be a bit keen, but so are you.

Dude she has nothing planned cuz she met you on a dating site. Sounds like she doesn't get out much. Its pretty normal for a woman to invite a man over for dinner. She is just like come and get it.

You said you liked her. So what if a shrink diagnosed her with something. It doesn't mean anything. What do you see in her? That's what is really what is important.

While I agree with some things KSA says, I don't really agree with his "if someone is diagnosed borderline this will happen if you go near them thing." She might not even be crazy.

If you go in for anything like anxiety they will diagnose you with something. Shrinks are fucking retarded IME and you can get them to diagnose you with whatever you want depending on what you say. I have a copy of the DSM4 and I read it. Its the standard book for the criteria for diagnosing all mental illness. Its used by every shrink, psychiatrist, and doctor in most English speaking countries. Its the standard.
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I agree, well I actually met her on a site for a hobby we share (not drug related) and turns out she lives near by. I had a really good time with her when I first met her, she was really funny and extremely sweet, gave me a DVD I wanted that she hadnt even opened! She was really open minded too which makes me feel like a bit of an ass talking about her like this... I hope she gets back to me!
 
Crampz said:
Well I thought about it a bit more, in her 'ill' message she said lets up next week but whatever, I guess everyone says that (it just stinks of 'being nice' to be so vague i.e. 'next week' rather than 'thursday friday?' etc) but when we were going to meet up it was all 'come over, ive got nothing planned all weekend and ill cook you dinner etc'. Weird.
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I'm not clear on what's happened, have you already gone for dinner or is that what she asked you to do next week?

I think it does sound like she's dicking you about. Not replying to you for months before contacting you out of the blue definitely doesn't make it sound like you're a high priority for her. What's more, her actions are disrespectful. Not replying in a timely manner and cancelling on you gives the impression that she doesn't consider your time as being very valuable. I think if you hook up next week you'll just be a means to an end for her, but if you're happy with that it may be worth a try.
 
Casual sex isn't that bad for real. I prefer it sometimes. If it ends up like that don't get your emotions involved and you will be smooth sailing. You can even fuck other chicks.

I am saying I would check it out. So what if she may be a cunt. I bet she puts out. So take it for what its worth. Maybe she was tied up with some problems or drama and didn't want to inflict it on you.

Either way your getting laid.
 
A perusal of the Mental Health forum on the subject of BPD will indeed prove enlightening. My sister is borderline, and I never really understood it till reading those, and also from talking to my dear friend Melissa. All I ever saw was the batshit, not understanding what was going on inside. How incredibly difficult that may be.

At any rate, do no expect this sort of behaviour to stop. It likely will not.
 
^
She hasn't exhibited that behavior yet. He knows what to look out for. But I think the diagnosis is bollocks. I don't trust shrinks. I would check it out.

I have seen bat shit crazy and its not hard to recognize. I had a gf have a mental breakdown and it was nasty. I dropped her like a bad habit.
 
footscrazy said:
I'm not clear on what's happened, have you already gone for dinner or is that what she asked you to do next week?

I think it does sound like she's dicking you about. Not replying to you for months before contacting you out of the blue definitely doesn't make it sound like you're a high priority for her. What's more, her actions are disrespectful. Not replying in a timely manner and cancelling on you gives the impression that she doesn't consider your time as being very valuable. I think if you hook up next week you'll just be a means to an end for her, but if you're happy with that it may be worth a try.
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If he says he's busy and doesn't see her then, he's no better then her, both are 10 y.o. mental age teens playing high-school games.
 
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