trancerage
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Apr 22, 2010
- Messages
- 208
Hi people, I wanna tell you guys what im going through and what do you guys think...
Im 30 years old, very much into the rave scene (well not so much anymore), and I loooooooove mdma (or mdxxx) I have been strugling with my life lately, trying to control de use of it... 2008 was just totally out of control, From what I remember, I spend most of weekends high, always on "x" (or what ever it was on those pills).. I dont do other drugs, I dont do coke, weed, H, amph or any other kind of drug, also quit smoking and dont drink a lot, almost nothing... I started taking "X" (never done anything but a couple of times weed before that) about 5 years ago, the first year was really really occasionaly, only took it like 2 times, may be 3 times... the next 2 years were a little harder, but 2008 was totally a mess, then by the half of 2009 I realize that I could not keep on living like that... so at first I said (like soooo many ppl) that I was going to stop using drugs for good, of course taht didnt work out too well, I spent 6 weeks off and then came back, but this time I said, ok, a party or 2 every certain ammount of time wont hurt me... so I said, I will take one good party, then stop fro 4-6 weeks, then in the span of 1 month, im allow party hard, then stop again for 4-6 weeks, and its actually working pretty good for me, since I am able to do it... I do a ton of sports, I do Brazilian jiu jitsu, I run, and go the the gym, I love doing all this, so I dont really wanna party hard every weekend because it really fucks me up for the whole week, but after a month, my head starts to play games and this little bug inside me starts jumping dont stop requestiong for a good party (club, music, some "X" or whate ever I can get in form of a pill, though if I have bad reviews of it, I wont take it, and some crazy ass sex to close the party) then im all good for another month or more... I kind of realize that I have an addiction problem, just wanted to know how bad it is... I think, ok, I do have a problem with it, but I think is no different from the problem any social drinker has, that every once in a month, must get hammered... Could anyone get a life going accepting this problem? and chosing to take a day or weekend off your regular normal life to get some crazy night that will set me fine again???
By the way, im much better this way, accepting my life the way it is, the comedowns I used to have were just horrible because I was condeming my self so hard for using X... now that I use it much more responsably, they are gone and I can experience a nice party without saying a couple of hourse later to my self, "dude.. you are a worthless junkie!!!" (I have no intentions on going or getting into other drugs, for me, the way I see it, drugs are to get a party going, not for daily basis use)
Thanx for your answer and help.
Im 30 years old, very much into the rave scene (well not so much anymore), and I loooooooove mdma (or mdxxx) I have been strugling with my life lately, trying to control de use of it... 2008 was just totally out of control, From what I remember, I spend most of weekends high, always on "x" (or what ever it was on those pills).. I dont do other drugs, I dont do coke, weed, H, amph or any other kind of drug, also quit smoking and dont drink a lot, almost nothing... I started taking "X" (never done anything but a couple of times weed before that) about 5 years ago, the first year was really really occasionaly, only took it like 2 times, may be 3 times... the next 2 years were a little harder, but 2008 was totally a mess, then by the half of 2009 I realize that I could not keep on living like that... so at first I said (like soooo many ppl) that I was going to stop using drugs for good, of course taht didnt work out too well, I spent 6 weeks off and then came back, but this time I said, ok, a party or 2 every certain ammount of time wont hurt me... so I said, I will take one good party, then stop fro 4-6 weeks, then in the span of 1 month, im allow party hard, then stop again for 4-6 weeks, and its actually working pretty good for me, since I am able to do it... I do a ton of sports, I do Brazilian jiu jitsu, I run, and go the the gym, I love doing all this, so I dont really wanna party hard every weekend because it really fucks me up for the whole week, but after a month, my head starts to play games and this little bug inside me starts jumping dont stop requestiong for a good party (club, music, some "X" or whate ever I can get in form of a pill, though if I have bad reviews of it, I wont take it, and some crazy ass sex to close the party) then im all good for another month or more... I kind of realize that I have an addiction problem, just wanted to know how bad it is... I think, ok, I do have a problem with it, but I think is no different from the problem any social drinker has, that every once in a month, must get hammered... Could anyone get a life going accepting this problem? and chosing to take a day or weekend off your regular normal life to get some crazy night that will set me fine again???
By the way, im much better this way, accepting my life the way it is, the comedowns I used to have were just horrible because I was condeming my self so hard for using X... now that I use it much more responsably, they are gone and I can experience a nice party without saying a couple of hourse later to my self, "dude.. you are a worthless junkie!!!" (I have no intentions on going or getting into other drugs, for me, the way I see it, drugs are to get a party going, not for daily basis use)
Thanx for your answer and help.
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