Cosmopolis
Greenlighter
- Joined
- Jan 3, 2013
- Messages
- 16
I am an experienced user of JWH-018 and AM-2201. I used to smoke them daily. I did experience a mild JWH-018 overdose, and it was intense, but bearable. It did not cause a psychedelic experience like AM-2201 did. I am convinced that no amount of any drug will ever cause an experience so strange and thought-provoking as this. This experience, though frightening, showed me unknown dimensions of consciousness that I would never dream of imagining that a human mind could come close to comprehending.
I have been staying away from synthetic cannabinoids for several months due to JWH-018 giving me depersonalization. Yesterday I decided to try AM-2201 again. I forgot about only needing a tiny pinch of the spice to get blasted, and consequentially filled up the entire bowl. I smoked it all rapidly. I did expect an intense high, but I find that I am always capable of handling it, so I wasn't worried.
Suddenly, the high was intense. I was sitting on the bathroom floor downstairs, because I live with my family, and this room has a fan that gets rid of the smell, and I can cover it up as a shower or bath. Dozens of concepts and thoughts were racing through my mind, and I suddenly realized that I am an actual person and a real character in other people's lives. This is easy to forget. Usually I, like most other people (I assume), feel that other people are characters, and that I myself is existence itself. While of course acknowledging that other people feel the same way, I never really imagined meeting me as a character. This simple realization that I often have overwhelmed and confused me. It made me feel proud and worthful.
It was already intense, but it wasn't even close to what I was about to experience. With my motorics and vision severely impaired, I started panicking. I remembered that this is AM-2201 and not weed, that overdosing is possible, and that people have gone insane after overdosing. I knew this wouldn't be the case, but the idea frightened me. I was standing over the sink and looking down into it for no apparent reason while entertaining the idea that I'll be altered forever after this grew and grew and I experienced intense fear for the first time in many years. I kept it together, though, and instead of letting the panic grow, I sat down in my knees in front of the laptop and attempted to google: "Can you die from AM-2201 overdose?" There are better search terms (like "AM-2201 deaths"), but I could absolutely not think even close to clearly at this point.
It was now that the most bizarre experience of my life hit me like a train. In the middle of typing that sentence in the google search field, I was shot into a completely different dimension of consciousness, a whole new way of perceiving anything. My senses were the same, and there was no change in how I perceived color, distance or anything else, really, but my entire way of existing became something completely different. I was thinking: "This can't be what it feels like to exist." I could not for the life of me remember what it feels like to exist. And suddenly I started racing through countless, unique ways of "being conscious". A new one every two seconds or so. I was completely overwhelmed. My heart was beating so hard and fast that I was afraid of getting a heart attack. If I had been asked to imagine a completely different way of being conscious before this experience, what I imagined would not be even close. Even when on a huge dose of psychedelics, your general way of perceiving is still the same, in my experience. You might have a completely different headspace, but what it feels like to exist is still basically the same.
This was an otherworldly revelation to me. Every human could be pulled into one of these universes with me, and life would continue as normal, but what it means to exist would change completely. I was deathly afraid of someone knocking on the door and wanting to talk to me, because I would not be able to form a sentence. I started thinking about what to do if it happened, and I first decided that I would lie still and close my eyes. I then decided that this would scare my family way too much. I wasn't capable of realizing this earlier because I just couldn't imagine what was "normal". I felt that my behavior if they came to get me would be so out of this world that they would have no idea what to think. I might just have been able to force myself to say "yes" or "go away", but that's about it. The world, how people acted and the order of it all, it was so overwhelmingly unfamiliar and strange, and I realized that this whole life we're living is just one of an infinity of unique ways of being conscious. I imagined that aliens far away would perceive existence in an incomprehensibly different way, despite having the exact same senses as we do. I kept thinking: "What is the right way to exist?" - "What does existing feel like?" Because I completely forgot how it felt to be part of humanity and have a human mind.
Trust me when I say that it's impossible to imagine. It's even impossible for me to imagine myself in one of the alternate worlds of consciousness, because I am remembering from within this one. The changes I felt cannot be achieved with simply affecting the visual cortex. Depersonalization, in a way, feel like a different way of perceiving, but not even close to this. With depersonalization, I still had the same basic sense of reality, but it was distorted. With this, everything changed. The stimuli through the senses was identical in each "universe", so don't try to imagine different visuals or perception of time and distance, not even a change in how you think, because that didn't happen. This experience opened my mind to the fact that there is far more to existence than the senses. The senses are only tools. Even without your senses, you are so much more than nothing.
If anyone has experienced the same kind of shift in the dimensions of consciousness and knows what I'm talking about, please tell me how you experienced it. PS: If you think you have experienced this, you definitely haven't. If you have, it's for sure. I will probably do this again on purpose some day to see if I can relive it. I hope there are alien lifeforms living in a completely different realm of consciousness.
I have been staying away from synthetic cannabinoids for several months due to JWH-018 giving me depersonalization. Yesterday I decided to try AM-2201 again. I forgot about only needing a tiny pinch of the spice to get blasted, and consequentially filled up the entire bowl. I smoked it all rapidly. I did expect an intense high, but I find that I am always capable of handling it, so I wasn't worried.
Suddenly, the high was intense. I was sitting on the bathroom floor downstairs, because I live with my family, and this room has a fan that gets rid of the smell, and I can cover it up as a shower or bath. Dozens of concepts and thoughts were racing through my mind, and I suddenly realized that I am an actual person and a real character in other people's lives. This is easy to forget. Usually I, like most other people (I assume), feel that other people are characters, and that I myself is existence itself. While of course acknowledging that other people feel the same way, I never really imagined meeting me as a character. This simple realization that I often have overwhelmed and confused me. It made me feel proud and worthful.
It was already intense, but it wasn't even close to what I was about to experience. With my motorics and vision severely impaired, I started panicking. I remembered that this is AM-2201 and not weed, that overdosing is possible, and that people have gone insane after overdosing. I knew this wouldn't be the case, but the idea frightened me. I was standing over the sink and looking down into it for no apparent reason while entertaining the idea that I'll be altered forever after this grew and grew and I experienced intense fear for the first time in many years. I kept it together, though, and instead of letting the panic grow, I sat down in my knees in front of the laptop and attempted to google: "Can you die from AM-2201 overdose?" There are better search terms (like "AM-2201 deaths"), but I could absolutely not think even close to clearly at this point.
It was now that the most bizarre experience of my life hit me like a train. In the middle of typing that sentence in the google search field, I was shot into a completely different dimension of consciousness, a whole new way of perceiving anything. My senses were the same, and there was no change in how I perceived color, distance or anything else, really, but my entire way of existing became something completely different. I was thinking: "This can't be what it feels like to exist." I could not for the life of me remember what it feels like to exist. And suddenly I started racing through countless, unique ways of "being conscious". A new one every two seconds or so. I was completely overwhelmed. My heart was beating so hard and fast that I was afraid of getting a heart attack. If I had been asked to imagine a completely different way of being conscious before this experience, what I imagined would not be even close. Even when on a huge dose of psychedelics, your general way of perceiving is still the same, in my experience. You might have a completely different headspace, but what it feels like to exist is still basically the same.
This was an otherworldly revelation to me. Every human could be pulled into one of these universes with me, and life would continue as normal, but what it means to exist would change completely. I was deathly afraid of someone knocking on the door and wanting to talk to me, because I would not be able to form a sentence. I started thinking about what to do if it happened, and I first decided that I would lie still and close my eyes. I then decided that this would scare my family way too much. I wasn't capable of realizing this earlier because I just couldn't imagine what was "normal". I felt that my behavior if they came to get me would be so out of this world that they would have no idea what to think. I might just have been able to force myself to say "yes" or "go away", but that's about it. The world, how people acted and the order of it all, it was so overwhelmingly unfamiliar and strange, and I realized that this whole life we're living is just one of an infinity of unique ways of being conscious. I imagined that aliens far away would perceive existence in an incomprehensibly different way, despite having the exact same senses as we do. I kept thinking: "What is the right way to exist?" - "What does existing feel like?" Because I completely forgot how it felt to be part of humanity and have a human mind.
Trust me when I say that it's impossible to imagine. It's even impossible for me to imagine myself in one of the alternate worlds of consciousness, because I am remembering from within this one. The changes I felt cannot be achieved with simply affecting the visual cortex. Depersonalization, in a way, feel like a different way of perceiving, but not even close to this. With depersonalization, I still had the same basic sense of reality, but it was distorted. With this, everything changed. The stimuli through the senses was identical in each "universe", so don't try to imagine different visuals or perception of time and distance, not even a change in how you think, because that didn't happen. This experience opened my mind to the fact that there is far more to existence than the senses. The senses are only tools. Even without your senses, you are so much more than nothing.
If anyone has experienced the same kind of shift in the dimensions of consciousness and knows what I'm talking about, please tell me how you experienced it. PS: If you think you have experienced this, you definitely haven't. If you have, it's for sure. I will probably do this again on purpose some day to see if I can relive it. I hope there are alien lifeforms living in a completely different realm of consciousness.
