dopamimetic
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Mar 21, 2013
- Messages
- 2,070
As far as I see, most addiction treatments - both in and outpatient - seem to be more or less based on that (in)famous 12 steps concept. Maybe I am biased but somehow I rarely heard good things about it from honest, long term struggling people and from what I read in these brochures lying around on AA and NA meetings, again maybe I am biased, it doesn't really fit me.
My primary point of struggle is anxiety, heavy social anxiety. It doesn't help me to accept that I am an addict - I am. Nor does it to say sorry for my past behavior - I am. I would anytime chose a nice sobriety over dependence but as long as that isn't an option, I for myself have found somewhat peace with using drugs, specially dissociatives, to cope with life. They come with a price and will maybe destroy physical health and leave me with nothing but this is like convincing smokers from cancer. Most of them know and most of them don't really care. What I care about is now, and the near future, as long as I don't have these, I won't bother with distant future probably.
Now society is just how it is, and war on drugs is how it is, so I have no chance than to limit my use - probably to live abstinent as they crack down even on DXM in Europe, many pharmacies straight out refuse to sell it to any male below 45 or so (sexism!) and guess the days of K analogues are counted as well. Needless to say, their over-use brought me a psychosis (probably, sleep deprivation was a major factor but dissos & insomnia go hand in hand for me) and some fucked up times where I really regret their use.
Still, they are the only thing that really helps, as long as I maintain moderation.
I've been to rehab twice in Zürich, which is pretty modern but even they pretend to treat underlying traumas and emotional problems but what they offer is 8/10 addiction, problematic drug use, abstinence, coping with craving etc. which really isn't that much of a problem if I could handle the emotions. In some rare times - when DXM still offered me a day to week long afterglow for example - I had next to no craving at all and just lived my life. Think I can separate desperate craving from ... plain craving, and the problem is the former, and it comes from, well, desperation about anxiety, depression, etc.
Psychopharms offer some limited help but they again are an addiction and make me avoid coping with my sober emotions.
Are there concepts that are more based on mental health than on demonizing relapse and substance use? I know it's the wrong place to ask here and I'll look out for a more locally related board but as most of these concepts are used internationally I still ask you guys here. Or am I wrong about the 12 steps and should give them a try?
Somehow, and I'm not proud of this, the fact that attenders of the average 12 step meeting are 90-95% males in or above their mid-40's doesn't really appeal to me either. They are just at a pretty different point in life, maybe. Or I'm biased again. Of course you can learn from older, more experienced people, I see that. Maybe it's just that I had a close friend who went to these meetings for years and finally concluded that the oldtimers are either lying and secretly continuing to use, or in case of AA just avoiding alcohol but living other addictions, or are pretty embittered with sobriety. This are single opinions which aren't representative for sure but probably it's a fact that dogmatic treatments have a low success rate.
My primary point of struggle is anxiety, heavy social anxiety. It doesn't help me to accept that I am an addict - I am. Nor does it to say sorry for my past behavior - I am. I would anytime chose a nice sobriety over dependence but as long as that isn't an option, I for myself have found somewhat peace with using drugs, specially dissociatives, to cope with life. They come with a price and will maybe destroy physical health and leave me with nothing but this is like convincing smokers from cancer. Most of them know and most of them don't really care. What I care about is now, and the near future, as long as I don't have these, I won't bother with distant future probably.
Now society is just how it is, and war on drugs is how it is, so I have no chance than to limit my use - probably to live abstinent as they crack down even on DXM in Europe, many pharmacies straight out refuse to sell it to any male below 45 or so (sexism!) and guess the days of K analogues are counted as well. Needless to say, their over-use brought me a psychosis (probably, sleep deprivation was a major factor but dissos & insomnia go hand in hand for me) and some fucked up times where I really regret their use.
Still, they are the only thing that really helps, as long as I maintain moderation.
I've been to rehab twice in Zürich, which is pretty modern but even they pretend to treat underlying traumas and emotional problems but what they offer is 8/10 addiction, problematic drug use, abstinence, coping with craving etc. which really isn't that much of a problem if I could handle the emotions. In some rare times - when DXM still offered me a day to week long afterglow for example - I had next to no craving at all and just lived my life. Think I can separate desperate craving from ... plain craving, and the problem is the former, and it comes from, well, desperation about anxiety, depression, etc.
Psychopharms offer some limited help but they again are an addiction and make me avoid coping with my sober emotions.
Are there concepts that are more based on mental health than on demonizing relapse and substance use? I know it's the wrong place to ask here and I'll look out for a more locally related board but as most of these concepts are used internationally I still ask you guys here. Or am I wrong about the 12 steps and should give them a try?
Somehow, and I'm not proud of this, the fact that attenders of the average 12 step meeting are 90-95% males in or above their mid-40's doesn't really appeal to me either. They are just at a pretty different point in life, maybe. Or I'm biased again. Of course you can learn from older, more experienced people, I see that. Maybe it's just that I had a close friend who went to these meetings for years and finally concluded that the oldtimers are either lying and secretly continuing to use, or in case of AA just avoiding alcohol but living other addictions, or are pretty embittered with sobriety. This are single opinions which aren't representative for sure but probably it's a fact that dogmatic treatments have a low success rate.