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Addiction and STD somewhat hopeless

NoPromiseMade

NoPromiseMade

Bluelighter
Joined
Jun 22, 2010
Messages
198
Location
Houston TX
Hello bluelighters, let me start first with that I have been lurking here for years and I love this site. I have never seen a more informed and helpful group of users and researchers throgh all my internet wanderings.

Now my story. I contracted HPV about four years ago, the kind that causes genital warts. I stayed with a girlfriend that I didnt really love for most of that time because I didnt think I could find anyone else. Because of this and my fucked up thinking I acquired an opiate addiction (vicodan, oxy methadone morphine) not shooting just popping pills. I've been at it for about a year. The pills helped me to forget this situation and made it easier to deal with my ex who while being very loving and supportive was still annoying stupid and an ignorant and arrogant person. She recently broke up with me because I was high all the time. About two months ago I lost my job, her and was arrested for pot. I now have a year of probation spent about $2500 dollars on drugs, all this in one week. I just recently got a new job.

As for the STD I have been applying podophylium solution which is slowly making them go away. However I know it's a virus and it will never be cured. All I want is a chance to live a normal life, find someone I love and be happy about being clean. I know there are STD dating websites but I just want the ability to hook up with girls without going on the internet. I have been going to NA meetings which help but I just threw away 30 days as of an hour ago. Opiates kill the sex drive and make me forget about all this shit. The podophylium solution is slowly working but it's not a permanent solution.

(sigh) There just isnt a whole lot of reason to stay clean if I cant have even a close to "normal" life. I seriously feel that staying clean wouldnt be a problem if I just had a chance for the whole hot wife 2.5 kids and a white picket fence.

I know there isnt a whole lot of advice to give but if I could use some support. I'm scared I'm going to be alone and pills arent working like they first did and shooting up just seems like a better idea everyday. Any thoughts or words would be great to hear.

Thank you.
 
It is estimated that 1/4 of the sexually active people in the U.S.are infected with HPV.

Another fact is that 90% of women diagnosed with cervical cancer are also HPV positive.

You are definately not alone in this. Btw, I also have HPV.

I'm 54 and was married for 25 years before my wife divorced me for my opiate addiction. Unfortunately I had HPV prior to marriage so I passed it to her. At the time I had no idea that what I had was classified as a STD. It has only been in the last 10 years or so that anything has been said about this. I truly regret that I
passed this to her.

So you are not alone in having HPV, nor in losing a SO due to an opiate addiction.

The good news? The sun will still rise tomorrow morning on a brand new day!!!
 
Thanks I appreciate the reply. I am twenty years old and it just sucks that I cant necesarraly have sex with a girl thats looking at me like a piece of meat without having a very akward conversation first and then facing rejection. Not to be bashful but I do consider myself a good catch.

I feel like Jake Barnes in Hemmingway's "The Sun Also Rises"

Wouldnt it be pretty to think so?
 
HPV can also be cleared from the body, check it up, maybe the understanding of this has changed recently, but as far as i'm aware, HPV can and does get cleared from the body via immune response
 
HPV really isn't that big of a deal. You can get the warts frozen off for free at most clinics and there are a variety of ointments that work well; you already know this because you're already using an ointment. I have HPV, too, but I'm involved with someone who also has HPV. I remember reading statistics on the CDC's website that over 75% of all sexually active teens and adults in the USA have HPV. There is also Gardisil now, which is supposed to immunize against HPV in women.

If you end up dating someone for a while and she really cares about you, once you tell her that you have HPV she might not even give a damn. Don't get hung up on the HPV thing. If you want to hook up you can use sites like STD match, but just make sure you go get tested with anyone you meet on there to make sure that HPV is the only thing that they have :) HPV isn't necessarily going to bar you from finding meaningful relationships in your future; if someone loves you for who you are she probably won't mind too much since it's incredibly treatable. I have had people in clinics tell me that the body's natural immune system can fight it off and actually get rid of it completely within five years or so, and others have told me that you are stuck with it for life.

Also, be responsible: Realize that condoms might not always prevent transmission of HPV from you to your partner; condoms do not cover everything and warts can be tiny enough that they may as well be invisible. I apparently spread HPV unknowingly to my ex. I had never, ever seen anything at all on my penis until a year after she broke out. Apparently I spread it to her because she was a virgin when we met. I don't know, but I swear I never saw anything down there before. Just be up front and honest with people that are willing to sleep with you.
 
Okay, I know some of this will be off-topic because I'm cutting and pasting from another post of mine, but there is a lot of misinformation/misleading info in this thread.

1) HPV and what it does

The human papillomavirus (HPV) causes genital warts, precancerous lesions, and cancer. It can lead to cancer of the vagina, vulva, cervix, and anus in women and the penis and anus in men, as well as a form of head and neck cancer in both genders. It can infect the epidermis (skin) and mucous membranes (like in the vagina) depending on the type it is. The types that cause warts don't cause cancer, and vice versa. The kinds that cause cancer are called "high risk" for genital cancer, and there are at least 12 strains in this category, probably 13 (strain 68 ), with another 5 considered "probably high-risk" (strain 68 is sometimes put here instead). There are 30+ types that are transmitted sexually (and well over a hundred types overall, among which are the viruses that cause "regular" warts), and many have no symptoms. Many people are infected and never know it, because there are no symptoms and the virus is then frequently cleared by the body naturally - 70% of infections are usually gone within one year, and 90% within two years.

However, the issue with HPV is that it can also have a latency period of months or even years - so it is difficult to determine which partner caused the infection - during which the virus actually incorporates itself into your DNA. The viral DNA will remain there as long as the cell keeps replicating and the immune system does not destroy it. This is what causes cancer with the cancer-causing types of the virus - it can mess with the cell's normal cancer-preventing strategies, and the cell will turn cancerous. After the latent phase, the virus goes into an active state where regular disease symptoms will develop (warts, etc.). Some recent research suggests that some people will never clear the virus at all, but that is up for debate, and it is very uncommon even if true.

Keep in mind that there is a 60% chance of transmission from a single episode of sexual contact with an infected person, and a latex condom does not provide complete protection because only skin-to-skin contact is necessary!!! BE SAFE!

2) The HPV vaccine before and after infection

The HPV vaccine is currently only approved for women. It is in trials for men. The HPV vaccine (Gardasil or Cervarix) CAN be useful even after you have been diagnosed with an infection leading to warts or cancer. The Gardasil vaccine protects against 4 of the 6 most dangerous (based on frequency of disease in humans) types of the virus, so if you haven't been infected with the other 3 yet, you are getting protection against those. The vaccine CAN ALSO protect from the development of precancerous lesions/cancer EVEN IF YOU ARE ALREADY INFECTED, it is simply less effective (about 44% effective if considering only strains 16 and 18, the two most linked to cervical cancer, and down to about 17% when considering all strains that can cause cancer). Most studies have shown that the vaccine is almost 100% effective in women that have never been infected with any strain, and up to around 20% effective in women that have been infected with at least one strain. The Cervarix vaccine only protects against strains 16 and 18 (the two worst cervical cancer-causing types), and has shown to have some effects against types 31 and 45 as well (also cause cervical cancer).

It is unknown at this point how long the protection lasts, but Cervarix has been shown to be effective for at least 6.4 years, and Gardasil is effective for at least 5. It is unknown if boosters will be needed to confer permanent immunity. Also keep in mind that these immunizations do not work fully (or even at all in some cases) if you don't receive all the necessary shots on the correct schedule. If you do choose to be vaccinated, make sure you stick STRICTLY to the directed regimen. I got my Gardasil shots, almost to the hour, on the exact schedule prescribed, and I recommend everyone else do the same! (And another note on Gardasil - it is anecdotally reported to cause much stronger reactions in people than many vaccines, and I myself had the first adverse reaction of my entire life. After the second shot, I got very woozy for a few hours, but it cleared up before the next day.)



The ultimate point here is that HPV is not hopeless, and it might even go away eventually. Many people spread it without knowing it. You're certainly not the only one out there with it - a HUGE percentage of sexually active people carry or have had one or more strains of HPV.

And instead of switching to needles, you should switch to none! Start tapering yourself off the pills! You'll feel much better when you're off them. It's great that they can numb pain, but the problem is that they numb everything else in the process, and that's no way to live a life. You deserve a lot more fun. :)
 
I had some sort of fungal infection down on my pubis region.... I drained the sores... kept them clean and dry .. and sunbathed naked for about three weeks.... and its gone.. could have been nothing...but my method (while almost medieval simple) worked
 
Thanks folks. I finally broke down and went on an STD dating site. Plenty of cute little punker girls it seemed like so maybe theres still hope. Any other with expierence with podophylium solution?
 
NoPromiseMade said:
Thanks folks. I finally broke down and went on an STD dating site. Plenty of cute little punker girls it seemed like so maybe theres still hope. Any other with expierence with podophylium solution?
Click to expand...

I have only heard about sites like STD match; I have never actually signed up to see who's on there. Now you are making me consider setting up a profile :) I hope you feel better about your situation since you are definitely not alone with the HPV thing. Just be sure if you meet someone on those sites to go to a clinic and get tested together to make sure all that you have is HPV. Gotta be safe; don't want to accidentally pick up something else! People lie all the time on regular dating sites so I would bet that there are a few bad apples on the STD dating sites, too.
 
Don't think of yourself as a leper. HPV is extremely common, and in time the virus can disappear. It's not necessarily a life-long illness. I caught HPV a couple of years ago and after treatment I'm now free of all the symptoms (genital warts). Try putting it in perspective - there are much worse viruses out there than HPV.
 
I was doing anywhere from 150-250 mg of hydrocodone a day or 160-240mg of oxy. Shit really messed with my liver. This last time I took 5 10/650s ouch! and felt pretty sick yesterday. I used to think that I just got high because I was in my head about all these problems, I've come to believe that I also just like getting high... NA is interesting but it sucks that I'm the youngest one there for the most part.
 
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