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Addicted together

L

lukeblue

Bluelighter
Joined
Dec 10, 2009
Messages
64
Location
Montreal
Normally, it would be advised to find someone who is not an addict so that they will encourage you to take less and conquer your addiction. I find that that being in love with someone who is also an addict understands you at much more profound level, since you have both been to that same place.

My partner and I know literally every detail about each other and are 100% honest. I feel as though if someone is an addict and dates someone who is a non-user, they will end up lying to them eventually.

What are your thoughts?
 
been in both sort of relationships. if you are ex-addicts together, it is one thing - but usually two current addicts can bring some troubles that normal, healthier relationships obviously wouldn't have to face.

I understand completely though, when two addicts are together and in some kind of love, you know one another like two "normal" people could never understand one another.
 
Possibly the greatest relationship of my life (the girl I nearly married... nearly :\) was an addict relationship through and through. It began with the needle and the pipe and ended in... nothing. I totally understand the incredible levels of intimacy that can be found in such relationships, but as mentioned above, they are almost always doomed to failure. Cos there are always at least three in the bed and you both love the other one slightly more than the flesh and blood one. Although you'd be a rare couple to admit to it.

I honestly believed that being together would help us both quit... for five years... until she stole all me money, left me penniless in a foreign city and traded me in for a toothless crackhead/dealer. And when she came back a year later asking forgiveness? Why of course! :|

Didn't work out. Amazingly enough. Very few relationships based around co-dependent drug addiction (as opposed to shared drug use) ends well, in my experience. And I include the many other addict couples I've known over the years in that. Real life practicalities just can't match up to the boring intensity of shared addictions, in my opinion.

They can be amazing at the time though and I know some must work out so good luck :)
 
the "Every detail" statement i personally find a little creepy. Aside from that your pretty right.
 
The relationships that I have had in my past that were based on drugs never lasted, for what it's worth. Though i was never addicted, my partners were though. I just used pretty much as much as them but always was able to stop whenever i wanted. Usually when times got tough i could pull my head in, but they couldn't.

Being able to enjoy drugs together on the occasion is a great thing IMO, but sharing a mutual addiction is not a good recipe for a relationship. More so a recipe for a disastrous relationship.
 
drugfukkdrockstar said:
Being able to enjoy drugs together on the occasion is a great thing IMO, but sharing a mutual addiction is not a good recipe for a relationship. More so a recipe for a disastrous relationship.
Click to expand...

Also being in a relationship with someone who is an addict when you aren't can become incredibly tiresome and can likely cause relationship problems as the other person can have the propensity to slip even further down the hole, if you will.
 
well my boyfriend and I were addicted together. not to the same drug and maybe thats why we are still together, but an addictions an addiction. I was a speed freak(200-300mg a day), and he was a doper(15-20 bags a day)..interesting mix I know. We eventually got caught by our parents, a day or so apart from each other, spent a few days away from home together, and eventually got clean. because we both went through the hardships, completely understanding one another, completely in love we came out together. we understood each other in and out, understood the anguish of quitting. we've been "clean" for a little over 6 months, with occasional usage sometimes. but hey, a taste here and there isnt too bad. and who can really quit or wants to quit everything? ha. especially when we can keep each other in line. so IMO if your truly in love, an addiction doesn't really matter at all. as long as both parties are patient, understanding, and remind each other someone cares.
 
All relationships have problematic moments, for some it's the drugs, for others the lack of them, for third abusive behaviour and so on. It all depends.. for some it will work with drugs, for others it won't. I know many people who told me living with an addict won't last, that we'll separate very quickly, but it didn't happen. Others said that the fact I am not addicted as he is will prevent me to understand him, while it wasn't the case.

Different people--> different situations --> different outcome.
 
My girl and I are opiate addicts, and the only time it makes our relationship harder is when our scripts run out, and someone has to find more. We both work 40+ hours a weeks, drive deccent cars, go out on dates, etc. There are many different types of adddicts in the world, and I would only be with a true functional addict, never the type that would stay out all night, hang around dealers for "extras".
 
My g/f occasionally uses opiates but nothing like me. It's only every now and then with her not everyday like me. She tolerates my drug use but doesent always like it thats for sure.
 
I guess, in my situation, I feel like we've reached a balance. I could just be incredibly naive, but that's how we both feel. We make a serious (and at times difficult) effort to take 1 to 2 month periods where we are completely sober. We're together -- so it's not so difficult when we're coming off of something. We also don't feel guilty when we slip into a binge, because we both understand that whole world. I feel that I ended up using MORE when I was in relationships where the other person was unaware; I felt like there was more of a "need" to. Having to hide one thing inevitably leads into hiding so many other things. That could just be me though.
 
I agree that it's easier to identify with someone who also uses, but I've never had any romantic relationship based on drugs last. :\ The drugs start to become something you argue about, especially if one person can afford more than another.

I do have one platonic relationship that's worked out. My using buddy overdosed and became completely intolerant to heroin (i.e. 1/4 bag would instantly cause him to seize and turn blue). We both quit, and we're still close. <3
 
when our culture finally accepts these drugs, in the (near i hope) future, this won't even be an issue. it'll be "does your gf use" rather than "is she okay with using" and the aspects of being addicted together (addiction will be a whole different thing by the time it's legal; because of 1. technologic/medical advances, and because 2. we won't be as horribly ignorant about drugs, but mainly 3. because it's a whole different drug when it's not illegal { "it" refering to any drug } )
 
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