dopamimetic
Bluelighter
The longest time without using non-prescribed drugs during the last 4 years was probably around 3 weeks, when I was on stationary rehab, but this wasn't sobriety either as I still was on venlafaxine (a SNRI antidepressant) and methadone (this one was a pretty stupid try to shift my addiction on legal drugs, paid by the insurance but foremost legal to carry, take and no more stress to order from shady RC companies and dependency on their creativity to get around the steady upgrades of law.. Thought, wtf, opioids must be some kind of ultimate euphorics, bad-emotions-numbing drugs and also killing the libido, being a multiple year long single without hope for change this was welcome. But oh dear was I wrong. The only thing opioids are really good in, besides of course an increase in physical pain threshold, is to make one physically dependent and to mess up some biological systems. Quickly I ended up just taking the opioid- first one was buprenorphine, next to no effect, then methadone and finally morphine- together with dissociatives. As long as I took them together daily, the tolerance limiting effects did work to some degree, but not completely and during each disso-free interval, insistent tolerance to the opioid did increase..)
Well, as I said, I managed maybe 3 weeks. Then I gave in to the cravings and smuggled some ketamine in.
Have to say that it isn't just cravings, I do get something out of the dissociatives. Foremost an almost complete relief of my life-long social and general anxiety issues, help against chronic fatigue and depression/low self esteem. Even now they still seem to be the best medication for these things I know of and have tried, and these were quite a few. Downsides are tolerance, thankfully it appears to stay on some (high) level but not to increase endlessly.. wouldn't be that of an issue, if it weren't expensive, but worst of all the physical health danger. I'd prefer to keep a functioning bladder for the next decades, for example.. unfortunately I had a pretty bad, depressive/suicidal/careless time after my last and only relationship I had in my life split up, due to fu..ing legal issues from, of course, RC obtainment and possession (and others). Then I began to use dissociatives daily and in high doses, as a tool to escape- which they aren't, or shouldn't be, but at that time I didn't think of opioids yet, just loved the feeling of floating through the universe, completely free and weight-/tireless ... didn't watch on things like hydration or healthy food, exercise and all..
As dissociatives tend to mask feelings about the body's needs or greatly increase the threshold for their recognition, I still drink too less on one day or another, unfortunately. I try to avoid this now, of course.
Currently I take 240mg/d of morphine and 225mg of venlafaxine. Additionally, when available, maybe 50-100mg of 2-fluoro-deschloro-ketamine / sometimes a bit of 3-MeO-PCE (eyeballed, need to get a decent scale, unfortunately the cops tend to seen them as evidence for dealing), maybe on 5 of 7 days, sometimes also 2-3 weeks in a row.. on some days also / or a bit of methamphetamine, rarely more than ~25-30mg. Tried pharmaceutical options, methylphenidate (Ritalin/Concerta) feels much more physically stimulating, increases the heartbeat quite a bit and has an overall uncomfortable feeling. Lisdexamphetamine (Elvanse/Vyvanse) strangely has a worse hangover than crystal. Pure dexamphetamine would be available but since lisdex entered the market, they don't want to prescribe it anymore, even when it's cheap- like 25€ for 50x 5mg.
Problem is, that sometimes I get a burning sensation when peeing, sometimes pretty heavy, but can be completely gone some hours after, and slight issues to fully empty the bladder. This exists for more a year now I think, and it comes and goes, doesn't appear to increase in strength and thankfully with drinking plenty of liquids I can use moderate amounts of dissociatives usually without getting these symptoms - regular ketamine appears to be the worst, might have to do with it's low potency and more material taken, but not solely as a low dose of K sometimes felt worse than a high one of O-PCM or 2-FDCK which could also be at least as much of substance.
But as there are plenty of scaring papers and reports out there, it's probably and unfortunately no question that I will have to stop using arylcyclohexylamines (ACHs) if I don't want to suffer from permanent physical health issues.. maybe a very potent one might be a temporal solution, like 3-MeO-PCP (unfortunately illegal, but if I find a source I'll try it anyways) or even better, the RC guys manage to find and synth a decent non-ACH disso, as seemingly nobody gets these issues from even year-long high dose DXM use. Just that I don't tolerate DXM anymore, it feels dirty and triggers psychotic symptoms, something the ACHs don't do with the exception of O-PCE. Might have been a bad synth.
Just that the craving is SOO bad, together with all he anxiety, inhibitions, depression re-appearing and things stay on the same level for at least these 2-3 weeks I've managed to do repeatedly, and the opioids now which don't really help (only 2-3 days when increasing dosage, and in opposition to the dissos, I can't just skip them for the one or other day, the same with venlafaxine which also is pretty damn heavily physically addicting and produces strong brain-zaps which, additionally to be painful and coming together with anxiety and tension, let me fear of seizures- something I had before, albeit drug induced).. this discouraged me to try again, currently I just keep the dosages as low as possible, and focus on quitting smoking, and maybe the morphine firstly..
I'll get iboga rootbark soon, as it is the only(?) natural NMDA antagonist- besides its other activities- and quite a few people appear to get positive effects from microdosing that, I'll give it a try.. interestingly the vendor says that it's sedating and should be taken in the evening, due to the mixture of alkaloids in the rootbark and in opposition to the isolated ibogaine HCl which is stimulating and was sold as one in France..
Yeah. Anybody else here with a bad disso habit, or maybe even somebody who managed to quit one? Even better, who is able to use them again in moderation? Sadly they are a good aid against other addictions, if they just weren't so addicting by themselves.. or, even just not physically dangerous.
Also, is maybe something known to help with these bladder issues? I've read about hyaluronic acid (just how to get that in there? Catheter? Ugh.) and somebody getting prescribed flowmax- an alpha blocker, but with indication of prostata problems.. Maybe the nature has a herbal remedy, just where to look for- I don't think the old Chinese people inventing TCM will have had people with Ketamine addiction. Unless they had time machines?
Thanks for answers.. peace and stay safe..
Well, as I said, I managed maybe 3 weeks. Then I gave in to the cravings and smuggled some ketamine in.
Have to say that it isn't just cravings, I do get something out of the dissociatives. Foremost an almost complete relief of my life-long social and general anxiety issues, help against chronic fatigue and depression/low self esteem. Even now they still seem to be the best medication for these things I know of and have tried, and these were quite a few. Downsides are tolerance, thankfully it appears to stay on some (high) level but not to increase endlessly.. wouldn't be that of an issue, if it weren't expensive, but worst of all the physical health danger. I'd prefer to keep a functioning bladder for the next decades, for example.. unfortunately I had a pretty bad, depressive/suicidal/careless time after my last and only relationship I had in my life split up, due to fu..ing legal issues from, of course, RC obtainment and possession (and others). Then I began to use dissociatives daily and in high doses, as a tool to escape- which they aren't, or shouldn't be, but at that time I didn't think of opioids yet, just loved the feeling of floating through the universe, completely free and weight-/tireless ... didn't watch on things like hydration or healthy food, exercise and all..
As dissociatives tend to mask feelings about the body's needs or greatly increase the threshold for their recognition, I still drink too less on one day or another, unfortunately. I try to avoid this now, of course.
Currently I take 240mg/d of morphine and 225mg of venlafaxine. Additionally, when available, maybe 50-100mg of 2-fluoro-deschloro-ketamine / sometimes a bit of 3-MeO-PCE (eyeballed, need to get a decent scale, unfortunately the cops tend to seen them as evidence for dealing), maybe on 5 of 7 days, sometimes also 2-3 weeks in a row.. on some days also / or a bit of methamphetamine, rarely more than ~25-30mg. Tried pharmaceutical options, methylphenidate (Ritalin/Concerta) feels much more physically stimulating, increases the heartbeat quite a bit and has an overall uncomfortable feeling. Lisdexamphetamine (Elvanse/Vyvanse) strangely has a worse hangover than crystal. Pure dexamphetamine would be available but since lisdex entered the market, they don't want to prescribe it anymore, even when it's cheap- like 25€ for 50x 5mg.
Problem is, that sometimes I get a burning sensation when peeing, sometimes pretty heavy, but can be completely gone some hours after, and slight issues to fully empty the bladder. This exists for more a year now I think, and it comes and goes, doesn't appear to increase in strength and thankfully with drinking plenty of liquids I can use moderate amounts of dissociatives usually without getting these symptoms - regular ketamine appears to be the worst, might have to do with it's low potency and more material taken, but not solely as a low dose of K sometimes felt worse than a high one of O-PCM or 2-FDCK which could also be at least as much of substance.
But as there are plenty of scaring papers and reports out there, it's probably and unfortunately no question that I will have to stop using arylcyclohexylamines (ACHs) if I don't want to suffer from permanent physical health issues.. maybe a very potent one might be a temporal solution, like 3-MeO-PCP (unfortunately illegal, but if I find a source I'll try it anyways) or even better, the RC guys manage to find and synth a decent non-ACH disso, as seemingly nobody gets these issues from even year-long high dose DXM use. Just that I don't tolerate DXM anymore, it feels dirty and triggers psychotic symptoms, something the ACHs don't do with the exception of O-PCE. Might have been a bad synth.
Just that the craving is SOO bad, together with all he anxiety, inhibitions, depression re-appearing and things stay on the same level for at least these 2-3 weeks I've managed to do repeatedly, and the opioids now which don't really help (only 2-3 days when increasing dosage, and in opposition to the dissos, I can't just skip them for the one or other day, the same with venlafaxine which also is pretty damn heavily physically addicting and produces strong brain-zaps which, additionally to be painful and coming together with anxiety and tension, let me fear of seizures- something I had before, albeit drug induced).. this discouraged me to try again, currently I just keep the dosages as low as possible, and focus on quitting smoking, and maybe the morphine firstly..
I'll get iboga rootbark soon, as it is the only(?) natural NMDA antagonist- besides its other activities- and quite a few people appear to get positive effects from microdosing that, I'll give it a try.. interestingly the vendor says that it's sedating and should be taken in the evening, due to the mixture of alkaloids in the rootbark and in opposition to the isolated ibogaine HCl which is stimulating and was sold as one in France..
Yeah. Anybody else here with a bad disso habit, or maybe even somebody who managed to quit one? Even better, who is able to use them again in moderation? Sadly they are a good aid against other addictions, if they just weren't so addicting by themselves.. or, even just not physically dangerous.
Also, is maybe something known to help with these bladder issues? I've read about hyaluronic acid (just how to get that in there? Catheter? Ugh.) and somebody getting prescribed flowmax- an alpha blocker, but with indication of prostata problems.. Maybe the nature has a herbal remedy, just where to look for- I don't think the old Chinese people inventing TCM will have had people with Ketamine addiction. Unless they had time machines?
Thanks for answers.. peace and stay safe..
