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Absolute funniest example of 'tweaker logic' I have ever heard!

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synchrojet

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Coupla folks finish off a smoke session and get properly dosed and then some, which is to say TWEAKED outta their HEADS, which predictably leads to one of the lads engaging in a serious carpet crawl, whereupon one of the others attempts to discourage him from this behavior, pointing out the futility and so forth...of course mister carpet crawler finds what he just knows must be a shard, but upon heating it reveals itself to be something else, difficult for the boy to determine with certainty. His friend helps him in the short study that ensues and finally ascertains that said granule is in fact a small section of fingernail (or toenail, such as the case may be) and uses the incident as an example of the silliness and stupidity that results from carpet crawling...now here's the tweaker's honest to God response to his friend's advice to stop searching the floor: With total sincerity Tweaker looks Buddy straight in the eye so as to underscore the validity of his response..."But dude that was almost a shard!" whereupon his search continues. One of the finest examples of tweaker logic I have ever heard, thought I'd pass it along to the tweakers up in here and see what gems they produce. Please contribute your best examples!
 
So these guys, to say the least, lived a little out of town.. they had picked up a nice supply to tweak to help them have more energy at work... after a couple of days they decide to take apart one of their cars under some insane tweaker precept.. so one of their cars is literally in pieces.. engine, body, everything... so this being complete.. they still have a good supply left.. and they still at this point, have one perfectly good vehicle left.. they are outside.. both looking longingly at the intact vehicle.. tweaker A turns to tweaker B and says, "we should work on that one two".. to which tweaker B half heartedly replied, , "but that's our only transportation right now".. but tweaker A is undaunted and assures tweaker B that "its OK as they will have to put it back together tomorrow so we have a way to get to work.".. I ran into a friend that had chanced to stop out there, this being seven months after the massive auto dismantling, and both vehicles still lay in pieces out in the yard and neither tweaker had found another job 8(
 
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neversickanymore said:
So these guys, to say the least, lived a little out of town.. they had picked up a nice supply to tweak to help them have more energy at work... after a couple of days they decide to take apart one of their cars under some insane tweaker precept.. so one of their cars is literally in pieces.. engine, body, everything... so this being complete.. they still have a good supply left.. and they still at this point still have one perfectly good vehicle left.. they are outside both looking longingly at the intact vehicle.. tweaker A turns to tweaker B and says, "we should work on that one two".. to which tweaker B half heartedly replied, , "but that's our only transportation right now".. but tweaker A is undaunted and assures tweaker B that "its OK as they will have to put it back together tomorrow so we have a way to get to work.".. I ran into a friend that had chanced to stop out there, this being seven months after the massive auto dismantling, and both vehicles still lay in pieces out in the yard and neither tweaker had found another job 8(
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They just need a job so they can buy some more meth and remember how to put the damn thing back together. And almost a shard! Lol that's great. I used to have a g\f that would search the floor forever. I would tell her all we got was a 20 rock theres no way we lost anything and if we somehow did it certainly wouldn't bring the high back.
 
I think that the "meth-rocket" plan is pretty much the funniest thing ever:

(detailed in a DitM thread here)

Here is a still functioning photo link:

meth_rocket_twoshot.jpg


ebola
 
I don't really find this sort of behavior funny -- I find it sad. It's sad that one could be fiending so hard, so hard that they'll begin looking around the house for some accidentally dropped rock or "shard" and then think they've found one.

I have a friend who is a real serious crackhead, and he has actually scared me after staying up for a few days without sleep. It's scary, and sad, to see him so out of his mind and insane.

In retrospect, after the person has slept for a while and has come back down to earth, yeah, maybe it's funny, but at the time... no.
 
However, once you imagine this same person attempting to launch drugs into the sky, it's all fun and games again. :P

ebola
 
verso said:
I don't really find this sort of behavior funny -- I find it sad. It's sad that one could be fiending so hard, so hard that they'll begin looking around the house for some accidentally dropped rock or "shard" and then think they've found one.

I have a friend who is a real serious crackhead, and he has actually scared me after staying up for a few days without sleep. It's scary, and sad, to see him so out of his mind and insane.

In retrospect, after the person has slept for a while and has come back down to earth, yeah, maybe it's funny, but at the time... no.
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Yeah but we gotta be cathartic sometimes, meth might just be the worst drug in the world ever, but it does have its lighter moments put in a different perspective, and this was meant for a light-hearted thread.

It's just like how the comedy of the 80s/early 90s made fun of crack heads..
 
ebola? said:
Are you familiar with the inhalation of volatile solvents in pursuit of recreation? :P

ebola
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Call me when more than 0.0000000123% of the total population kill for it everyday. Then I'll use it in the same sentence as meth.

yea, I'm copping out by using the argumentum ad populum fallacy.. I know.. I know....
 
lol why do people comb the carpets, i never bother. i've constantly tried to smoke dead pipes in hopes of getting a hit but that's about it, and cleaning all paraphernalia used after a binge and getting one last shitty hit out of it. After that i give up.

wish i had some funny examples of tweaker logic, most of my own experiences involve taking things apart and also not putting them back together or fucking them up permanently. I still have to fix a guitar i tore apart completely while spun, but will need to get spun to be motivated enough to put it all back together again properly.

that meth rocket was a great idea, it would have been better if they actually activated the rocket in front of the cops though.
 
Lol that meth rocket was from a dea microgram before they found out ppl other than law enforcement actually read it and made it avail to leo only. What an idea. Those agents must have laughed their asses off at that discovery, i know i did.
 
I load most bowls on my bed, though I make certain to never spill or lose anything that could bring me to carpet surfing. I did comb my bathroom really well for a week once. It was after I dropped and shattered a loaded piece.
 
NerdOnDrugs said:
Call me when more than 0.0000000123% of the total population kill for it everyday. Then I'll use it in the same sentence as meth.
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But comparison of two substances assuming different frequency of usage seems to lack parity. Then again, I guess we have to factor in tendency toward compulsive usage in weighing substances' harms. . .

seyer said:
I love that youre posting in DC more often now :3
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<3

ebola
 
NerdOnDrugs said:
Yeah but we gotta be cathartic sometimes, meth might just be the worst drug in the world ever, but it does have its lighter moments put in a different perspective, and this was meant for a light-hearted thread.

It's just like how the comedy of the 80s/early 90s made fun of crack heads..
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All right fair enough. And you're right... there is that bit of humor in even the darkest of moments I suppose. Sometimes I'll look around at wherever I am, at whoever I'm with, at whatever we're doing, be it scraping pipes or taking cotton shots or whatever the case may be, and I just have to laugh at how insane it all is.

So, I'm sorry... didn't mean to bring the thread down.
 
verso said:
All right fair enough. And you're right... there is that bit of humor in even the darkest of moments I suppose. Sometimes I'll look around at wherever I am, at whoever I'm with, at whatever we're doing, be it scraping pipes or taking cotton shots or whatever the case may be, and I just have to laugh at how insane it all is.

So, I'm sorry... didn't mean to bring the thread down.
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Nah, I'm more sorry. I knew the post was going to make you look like the party pooper. Just thought it should be said once.
 
verso said:
Sometimes I'll look around at wherever I am, at whoever I'm with, at whatever we're doing, be it scraping pipes or taking cotton shots or whatever the case may be, and I just have to laugh at how insane it all is.
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yep.. its always better to laugh then cry=D.. LOL.. cause i was just thinking of some of the absolute insanity that i have been at the heart of.. lol.. really, I am never taking anything seriously again.. i just can find no good reason for this ever..
 
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